The Arabic word halal means "lawful" or "permitted" under Islamic law, contrasting with haram which means "prohibited." The terms are used in the Muslim faith and can apply to food, products, and actions.
The halal symbol on foods signifies that items are allowed for consumption. Grocery stores, restaurants, and butcher stops can also be labeled as halal.
Markus Spiske on Unsplash
As with most religious practices, people can choose to strictly eat halal or to ignore the dietary restrictions or anything in between.
A woman turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback after giving food information to a friend.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Kaplooples asked:
"AITAH for telling my Muslim friend that her food isn’t halal?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (24, female) am a vegetarian atheist. My friend, Sally (24, female), is Muslim and avoids eating pork, non-halal meat, and gelatin. For example, she will pick the marshmallows out of hot cocoa packets before mixing them into the milk, because marshmallows contain gelatin."
"Since I am a vegetarian, I am aware that certain foods contain animal byproducts. I saw Sally reaching for fruit snack gummies and let her know that they contain gelatin."
"Another time, she wanted to order fries from McDonald’s, and I told her that they contain beef flavoring."
* According to their website, McDonald's in the United States does not certify any of their food as halal.
"As a vegetarian, I like to know these things before consuming. So, I thought Sally would too."
"A while later, our mutual friends told me that Sally was annoyed that I told her about the fruit snacks and fries. She’s annoyed that she 'can’t' eat them anymore since she now knows."
"AITAH?"
"Should I not have said anything? Going forward, I won’t mention this stuff to Sally again. Should I avoid it with vegans/vegetarians/Muslims/etc... as well?"
"I thought I was being helpful and considerate, but I can see how it’s annoying. I think she avoids looking up food information so she can blame eating non-halal food on ignorance."
"Muslims, if she is trying to be as ignorant as possible, is it good practice? I am not judging anyone (I am an atheist). I am genuinely curious."
"Thanks everyone in advance for your advice and thoughts!"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors had mixed responses about the OP sharing information with her friend.
"As a Muslim, I would very much prefer for someone to tell me, and you did well to point it out to her. Her annoyance is a symptom of something she must work on within herself."
"Trying to remain ignorant in such a matter is not a good practice for a Muslim." ~ Reddit
"NTA. But now you know she'd rather not know, don't tell her. I am also a vegetarian who wants to know." ~ Amareldys
"Same I'm a vegetarian who likes to be told. Especially since so many things are accidentally vegetarian or vegan, like Sour Patch Kids." ~ True_Structure_3870
"It's not your job to read your friend's mind. And the friend didn't even tell you directly!"
"Sounds like the actual solution is for the friend to admit that keeping to halal is not actually her real priority." ~ MotherTeresaOnlyfans
"NTA because your intentions were good. Now that you know, let her be. Is it good Muslim practice? Probably not. But that's between her and Allah." ~ Particular_Title42
"NTA. When I was a butcher, I pissed off a lot of Jewish and Muslim customers by informing them that all of the non-pork sausage we made still had a pork casing."
"A lot of folks make a big deal about their self-imposed dietary restrictions but then don't actually want to know that something they like isn't in compliance with their standards, and I don't understand that."
"I saw it as my ethical obligation to make sure they knew what they were buying." ~ MotherTeresaOnlyfans
"NTA. I'm a vegetarian as well, and I like it when people let me know these things. Sally could’ve told you directly she didn’t care for the input, rather than complaining to a mutual friend."
"I think most people appreciate the heads up, I wouldn’t stop letting your veg or halal friends know about animal products because one friend got upset." ~ GotYourSoul
"I think the message might have been garbled in transmission. I don't think your friend is upset at you for saying something; it's more likely that she is just annoyed that she doesn't get to eat something she previously enjoyed now that she knows. She probably doesn't eat it now cause she would not enjoy eating something that is against her religion."
"Put it this way, if you didn't tell her, and she found out you knew later, that would feel pretty bad on your part, because you would be knowingly letting her eat something she wouldn't choose to." ~ FiendishNoodles
"When the mutual friend said the girl was annoyed... How much was annoyance at the OP vs just a general lament of annoyance about the new knowledge? I'd have a talk with Sally if I were OP." ~ Inside-Election-849
"NTA. But there's absolutely no way that we can give you advice that will cover absolutely every single vegetarian vegan Muslim religious person with dietary concerns etc..."
"You know about not mentioning it to Sally. And going forward you'll just have to mention to whoever it concerns if you see any problems, and just have to go by their reaction."
"There is no absolute on how everyone is going to react to something." ~ Lithogiraffe
"This brings me back to high school. A vegetarian friend went to the canteen and came back with a poutine. Now I knew she takes her vegetarian diet seriously, but was a bit naive sometimes, and her mom did ALL the cooking."
"So I carefully said 'Name, you're still vegetarian, right?' 'Yeah' 'Do you know what gravy is?' 'Gravy... is gravy.' 'Gravy is made from animal fat. There is vegetarian gravy, but this is most likely not vegetarian'."
"She looked so sad but thanked me for telling her. Yes, we confirmed with the lunch lady that it wasn't vegetarian gravy."
"In your case, I would just say 'I hear me telling you what has gelatin has been upsetting you. I'm sorry for that, and I hope you know that was never my intention, and I thought you'd like to know. I'll stop if you want me to'."
"It sounds like it was coming from a genuine place, but I think your clue to stop may have been her not thanking you or showing any appreciation. She could, and should, have said to stop letting her know instead of complaining behind your back. So maybe ESH?"
"This one is hard because there are some that will be appreciative and others that will get mad that their food sources/treats just got even more limited and blame you for ruining it. I think you'll just have to ask them if they want you to tell them and follow their lead." ~ KrzyLdy
"NTA. Your friend is the one maintaining these dietary restrictions; if she wants to eat other things, she can eat whatever she wants. It sounds like she wants to pretend she's following these rules while actually ignoring them." ~ Daddinator1701
"NTA. I volunteer with kids at an after-school program, and I’ve been around long enough to know (from meeting parents) that two kids are Muslim. One day, they went to a snack bar with marshmallows, and I had to tell them it wasn’t halal."
"I let them make their own decision (they were like 7 and 9 at the time) and they opted for a different snack. They also now know to ask if they’re not sure what’s in the food (is the spaghetti made with pork sausage or ground beef). People need information to make an informed decision."
"It’s also my understanding that if a Muslim accidentally eats non-halal food, they’re not in any trouble. Kinda how like if they accidentally have a snack during Ramadan, it’s considered a blessing from Allah and they should not worry." ~ __lavender
"Lifelong vegetarian here. I didn't know that Caesar dressing had anchovies for many years. I'm bummed that I can't eat it, but I wasn't angry with the person who told me."
"If I accidentally eat actual meat food I get sick. However, sometimes I just want to pretend I don't know that certain candy has gelatin... Your friend should use her words to tell you herself that she's annoyed by your behavior, and specify when/if she wants to be warned about a food."
"By the way marshmallows have gelatin but Marshmallow Fluff is vegetarian! Probably the only unhealthy staple food in my house growing up. They also make vegan marshmallows and they taste even better than regular because they have more vanilla." ~ Dorothwa
The OP provided an update:
"They were Welch’s fruit snacks. I am getting mixed opinions on McDonald’s 'beef flavoring.' I will let Sally know and let her come to her own conclusion, but I personally will still avoid them."
"I really wasn’t trying to be the food police. I just thought she’d want to know, as I would like to know if my food wasn’t vegetarian.
"If she continued to eat it or order it, I wouldn’t have stopped her.
"I’ll apologize and avoid being the food police from now on. I genuinely meant it from a good place."
"I’ll avoid talking about food with her from now on."
"Thanks everyone for the information!"
The OP's actions seemed to have been made in good faith.
Now that she knows her friend has no interest in adhering to her religion, only appearing to, she can stop providing her with information.
