Family recipe usually means how people grew up eating something. That doesn't always translate to something that tastes good.
Lots of family recipes are almost inedible—especially when they originated on a box of gelatin in the 1970s.
A person with an aversion to capitalization and punctuation turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback over a supposed family recipe.
Biggbootybiggbitch asked:
"AITA for saying my boyfriend’s mom’s mashed potatoes are weird?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"so this is so stupid but now it’s a whole thing. i’ve been with my boyfriend (bf) for like 5 years and his family does sunday dinner a lot. i go most of the time, it’s whatever."
"last weekend we’re there, his mom made mashed potatoes, i grab some, normal. i take a bite and immediately i’m like ‽‽‽ why are these sweet."
"not like a little sweet. like actually sweet."
"so i just go 'wait are these sweet?' kinda laughing because i thought maybe i was losing it.
"and she goes 'yeah that’s how i make them'."
"and i just said 'oh i’ve never had sweet mashed potatoes before' like not trying to be rude, i was just confused"
"these were not sweet potatoes! i love sweet potatos. these were normal russet potatoes, sweetened. and then doused in beef gravy"
"and it got awkward for no reason like dead quiet. i tried to just eat them anyway but i genuinely couldn’t, it tasted like dessert with gravy and my brain was not having it. so i just stopped eating them and kept eating the rest. then she notices and goes 'you don’t like them?”"
"and i said 'they’re just a bit sweet for me'"
"and then my bf jumps in like 'they’re not even sweet' which ‽‽‽ they literally are."
"and his mom makes a comment like 'some people just aren’t used to real cooking' which kinda annoyed me."
"so i said 'i just didn’t expect mashed potatoes to taste like cake' and yeah that did NOT go over well."
"dinner got super awkward, we left, and in the car my bf says i embarrassed him and i should apologize. but like… i wasn’t even rude at first?? i only said that after she made that comment. now she’s upset and he’s acting like i started something."
"i don't know, this feels so dumb but am i actually in the wrong"
The OP later added:
"just answering some questions ive already gotten a couple times:"
"- i'm 23"
"- these were normal russet potatoes that tasted like there was A LOT of brown sugar added into them"
"- i have somehow avoided eating these monstrous potatoes for 5 years because normally we either have roasted potatoes or we do a potluck style and bfs SIL brings the mashed potatoes"
"- i am not from the US (we are all from canada, born and raised)"
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
"i think i might be the a**hole because i didn’t just leave it alone. like i could’ve just not eaten them and moved on, but instead i made that comment about them tasting like dessert in front of everyone."
"even if i didn’t mean it in a super harsh way, it probably came off rude and kinda disrespectful, especially since she made them and it’s apparently a family thing. i can also see why my boyfriend felt embarrassed because it turned into a whole awkward moment at the table when it didn’t need to."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"NTA. That sounds like a crime against mashed potatoes." ~ Only_Music_2640
"Yea, the mother's commetnt about 'real cooking' was rude. If she thinks adding sugar to potatoes is a good thing, she has no standing. And you don't have to like everything that you're served. NTA." ~ Embarrassed_Cow2441
"My mil puts sugar in mashed potatoes too. It makes me want to cry. But I don’t start a fight about it."
"I have told my husband that I hate it though, because he once wanted to use his mother’s mashed potato recipe to make dinner."
"I can’t imagine why anyone wants to eat that monstrosity. That recipe is banned from my home." ~ FunnelCakeGoblin
"I've been to a restaurant before that did sweet mashed potatoes. They had a faint honey taste and it was really amazing with the roast lamb."
"My wife still thinks about them from time to time and wants to try making them one day when she feels like that investment for mashed potatoes is worthwhile." ~ Danovan79
"The fact that the SIL usually brings potatoes tells me you're not the first person with this problem." ~ zxylady
"Sister-in-law is normal and knows it hurts their mom's feelings when people don't like her weird mashed potatoes so she gets along by making them herself." ~ snugglux
"NTA, if she is gonna throw an insult then she should be able to take one back. Mashed potatoes aren't supposed to be sweet unless they're sweet potatoes, and you don't eat sweet potatoes with gravy either."
"You are a guest and you were being as polite as you could, not just guest but at that point family too. She could had literally said anything else like 'I understand, would you like something else instead?'."
"No one insults their guests when their guest is being polite about it too, she just took it personally and got prideful over being wrong."
"Anyway, I wish I could tell her to her face mashed potatoes aren't supposed to be sweet. She can't make mashed potatoes, and she doesn't seem to accept she can't make mashed potatoes."
"No one in their right mind adds sugar to savory potatoes especially to be eaten with gravy. God I'm so unnecessarily mad about this logic." ~ ThrowRA-commen7
"She knew they were wrong too or she wouldn’t have said 'that’s how I make them' she would have been confused why OP would think they should be any other way. The snip at OP’s family was so nasty too."
"I’m too old to put up with that nonsense I’d be gone. There are other boys with moms who don’t behave this way." ~ NobleKnightLancelot
"Last I checked mashed potatoes are potatoes, milk, and butter. You can add bacon or cheese, even use the potatoes that still have a skin so there’s bits of potato skins in the mixture. Sugar is not acceptable." ~ Crusoe15
"Putting sugar in mashed potatoes is not real cooking. That was rude. NTA." ~ chockfulloffeels
"The biggest a**hole here is the boyfriend for not being, at least, neutral in this situation."
"He didn't seem to acknowledge how passive aggressive and rude his mother is. This issue is going to come up again."
"You can't compete against a jealous mother. Place boundaries early and often. Your boyfriend’s job is to advocate for your relationship, not cowtow to his mommy's fee fees." ~ PieGlass2187
"Ordinarily, I’d be calling you out for not just being polite enough to take a bite and then not finishing, but I read your comment that she puts brown sugar in mashed potatoes and no. Just no. That’s a crime against food. NTA." ~ stringrandom
"But she did take a bite—more than one, it sounds like—and decided not to finish them. The mom is the one who pushed the issue."
"I agree with your NTA, by the way, but I think OP did the right thing until she was insulted by the insinuation that she didn't know 'real cooking'. That's beyond rude and Mom should be adult enough to know that you never call out a guest for not eating something, especially something they've already tasted."
"She should have offered OP more of something else and that gesture would have shown OP that she was still in good standing and that her host, you know, wants her to enjoy the dinner she prepared." ~ geckotatgirl
The OP provided an update:
"So yeah… not the update I thought I’d be posting."
"I talked to my boyfriend again about everything because it was still bothering me, mostly how he handled it at dinner. it kind of turned into a bigger conversation than i expected."
"Basically, I realized this isn’t the first time he’s just sided with his family to avoid conflict and left me to deal with it. I think I’ve just ignored it before, but this time it actually got to me."
"We ended up arguing about it, and it brought up a bunch of other stuff that we probably should’ve talked about a while ago."
"long story short, we broke up."
"It wasn’t literally over mashed potatoes, but that situation definitely made me look at things differently."
"i know that probably sounds dramatic to some people, but after 5 years i didn’t really want to keep brushing stuff off anymore."
Hurt feelings and poor cooking can breed contempt and resentment.
And it sounds like this relationship ran its course.
At least they'll never have to choke down those potatoes again.
Markus Spiske on Unsplash 
