New neighbors can be great.
Lifelong friendships have been forged.
However, some neighbors are not the friendship type.
Some of the biggest dramas between neighbors are over outdoor decor.
These are the things Judge Judy gets called over.
Redditor Many-Worry2671 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA for not removing my doormat because it scares my neighbor’s kid?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My wife and I (both 32) have been living at our apartment for 4 years and are both huge horror fans."
"We have had an art the clown door mat from Spirit Halloween for 2 years now, it’s not a Halloween decoration, it’s just what we like."
"Last month (around the beginning of April), we had some neighbors move in across from us."
"They have two kids, one is a baby, and one is maybe 3-4 years old."
"The first time we met them was a couple of days after they moved in."
"We were all bringing in groceries, and I introduced myself, shook hands, all of that."
"The dad says, 'Still Halloween, huh?'”
"And I just laughed it off."
"Since then, we’ve come home 4 times to them flipping our doormat, and we know it’s them because we have a Ring camera."
"We were fine letting them do it and just flipping it back until a couple of days ago when we caught them doing it in person."
"We asked what the issue was, and apparently, their son is super afraid of it, even though the kid was right there and was acting completely fine."
"Not crying, not anything."
"The only one that seemed agitated at all was the mom, who swore at us and rolled her eyes and was just generally unpleasant."
"Haven’t interacted with her much before or since."
"My wife waited until they were inside and flipped it back over."
"I stayed out with the dad and talked it over, and he seemed fine. "
"He said he understood it was our space and he’d talk it over with his wife and that his son was old enough to understand it couldn’t hurt him."
"This morning we walked out and saw our doormat wasn’t even flipped over, it was thrown outside of the stairwell."
"We live on the 4th floor, so it was a very deliberate thing."
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the AH.
"Report it so there’s a trail of them destroying your property."
"They will continue to escalate." ~ throwaway2117000
"NTA. I got five bucks that says the kid doesn't care, mom likes a certain aesthetic in 'her' place."
"I'd be Halloweening my door up and reporting her butt."
"I'd also politely tell her that you've got her on video, and the next time she touches your stuff, you're going to the police."
"I've had this neighbor, and OMG, the horror stories I could tell."
"Nip it in the bud now."
"Or she'll try to have you dancing to her tune for as long as you have to live next to her. DO NOT MAKE MY MISTAKE." ~ mamaallthetime
"Not reporting it is a mistake."
"Suppose it were just flipping it one time, no."
"Actually flinging it out is so beyond aggressive and entitled."
"You are setting yourself up for trouble with this woman if you let her intimidate you like this."
"The husband spoke to her, and this was the response?"
"If a little kid were crying, I would change my mat, but this is clearly about her."
"This will not be the last thing she doesn’t like."
"Let her know now she cannot throw her weight around. NTA." ~ Traveler691
"You should report that your neighbor took and damaged your property."
"It may just be a doormat, but it's still your property."
"I will bet you anything come Halloween, your other decor will be down the stairwell too." ~ OptimalTrash
"It’s probably a mistake not to report it and let the property manager see the footage, even if you tell them that you don’t need them to take action yet, but just want a record of it on file, as this will not be the end of it and you’ll want to have the timeline clearly established when the wife escalates things."
"Because she will."
"And you’ll want the landlord to already know from the beginning that you weren’t the instigator of the aggression." ~ blancamystiere
"As a landlady, please report this."
"Even if you don’t want them to do anything right now, it’ll be infinitely more believable and easier to do something in the future, if this is on the record."
"I ask my tenants for this info- they might be causing trouble elsewhere, and you owe it to your neighbors to be honest about their behavior." ~ blazingunicorn
"Listen, you're gonna get a lot of comments saying 'It's your house, your life,' and while that is technically true, the nice thing to do here would be to flip the doormat or move it elsewhere."
"You don't know anything about this kid other than the few times you've seen him-- he might be silent around you, but waking his parents up because he's terrified the clown is under his bed."
"You don't know, and your immediate assumption that your neighbors are lying doesn't necessarily mean that they are."
"If they're taking such extreme time and effort from their lives to keep flipping it over without trying to harass you over it, it's probably not a power play."
"In the end, is this a battle worth fighting?"
"Is making enemies of your neighbors over a really fixable, 2-second solution problem worth it?"
"Is this the hill y'all wanna die on?"
"Can this mat not be moved temporarily to the garage door or back door, or the inside of the doorway?"
"You aren't technically in the wrong, I guess, but man, you aren't gonna open the door to these neighbors doing you any favors in the future, that's for sure."
"ETA: ESH." ~ blackcatcreature
"ESH. This is one of those situations where Reddit will always say you’re right."
"It’s your home, you can do what you want, &@$%# the neighbors."
"But is all that really worth scaring a little kid over?"
"There are times when it’s best to bend a little just to be a good neighbor."
"I don’t condone your neighbor trashing your doormat."
"But maybe think about what’s really the most important thing here." ~ FreddZeppelin
"NTA, as long as it isn't a rental violation to have it out, report the behavior to management." ~ nom-d-pixel
"Tell management that it is going to be reported to the police as vandalism."
"Of course, call the non-emergency line, make a complaint so it's on record."
"People will say that's going too far."
"It was too far when they touched it. "
"What happens when you actually decorate?"
"If you start the file now, it will save you a headache later."
"She has already deemed you in the wrong and will double down in the future; it's not if but when." ~ ogreofzen
"NTA, it’s your right to have your doormat."
"And the mom is the AH for handling your property."
"BUT could it be scary to a small child?"
"You say it’s a Halloween decoration, so I’m assuming that it could be?"
"In that case, I wouldn’t keep it knowing there are young kids who will be seeing it daily. I understand you didn’t see them display fear, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling it and expressing it later."
"If it’s legitimately scary, I would swap it out for something more spooky vs scary (I also have some Halloween decor that’s year-round), not to please the mom but because I don’t want to upset little kids."
"They didn’t pick their mom." ~ madelynashton
"NTA at all, but I also know starting neighbor wars is never fun."
"If it's worth it to you to keep having interactions with this person, screw it."
"Put your welcome mat out with duct tape or Velcro, whatever will make it stick."
"If you want your peace, though, maybe it's worth losing this battle."
"Although I would also send a very calm email to management about their unreasonable behavior, and that you've decided to be the bigger person, but you are concerned about future interactions."
"Put them on notice!" ~ Aggressive_Door_5070
"NTA, it's your property, and they have no right to mess with it."
"Their children's fears are something they need to manage on their own."
"At some point, people need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them/their children and that learning to cope with scary things is necessary." ~ emi_kae
"NTA. Flipping your doormat was a little weird."
"Throwing it outside is rude."
"They should have asked you to remove it if their kid (or the mom) was afraid of it."
"Maybe you could put it inside your apartment?"
"This way you'll keep it, and the kid won't see it anymore." ~ grumpy_hedgehog_
"NTA - From what you've described, it sounds like the mom has more of a problem with it than the kid."
"Regardless, their child is their responsibility, not yours."
"Living in an apartment, everyone has to be respectful of everyone else. She should ask you to remove it, not just mess with your property herself." ~ CampyBiscuit
"NTA, but definitely report it to management, don’t let her get any worse than this, cut it off quick and fast." ~ Reasonable_Simple_42
Reddit is boo-liciously with you.
How dare your neighbors trash your property?
It may be time for a phone call to the HOA or even the police
It's just a doormat.
Good Luck.
