It's always nice to be given a gift.
But the gifts that touch us most are not necessarily the most expensive or monetarily valuable, but rather the gifts that hold special meaning.
Most of the time, it seems that the ones who gave you this gift put in extra thought when choosing it.
Even if the sentimental value that comes with this particular gift might have been by accident.
Redditor BenefitPublic1452 was recently blown away by a gift given to her by her cousin.
As the gift held special meaning to the original poster. (OP) on many levels.
Unfortunately, some other members of the OP's family were not happy to learn about this present.
Even resulting in the OP's cousin asking for the gift back, which the OP flatly refused.
Wondering if she was wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for refusing to give back a birthday gift after the person who gave it to me changed their mind?"
The OP explained why her cousin wanted her gift back, and why the OP refused to give it back:
"I (24 F) had a birthday a few weeks ago, and one of my eldest cousins gave me a vintage film camera that used to belong to our grandfather."
"She told me she picked me specifically because I’m the only person in the family who has a passion for photography and she thought he would’ve liked that."
"I was honestly touched."
"I cleaned it up, bought film for it, and even spent money getting one of the lenses repaired."
"I’ve already used it a few times and posted some photos online."
"Last weekend, we had another family get-together, and apparently, several relatives were surprised that she gave it to me due to the fact that the camera had sentimental value to multiple people."
"I didn’t know any of this beforehand."
"Nobody had ever mentioned wanting it."
"Two days later, my cousin called me sounding stressed and asked if she could take the camera back temporarily because another cousin is upset and thinks it should stay on that side of the family."
"I asked if she meant temporarily or permanently, and she admitted she didn’t know anymore because now relatives are arguing about who 'deserves' it."
"I told her I didn’t think it was fair to ask for it back after gifting it to me, especially after I’d already spent money restoring it and started using it."
"She said she understands, but now some family members are calling me selfish and saying I’m prioritizing an object over family peace."
"Whereas, if she had loaned it to me, I’d absolutely return it."
"But she was very clear that it was a birthday gift."
"I didn’t pressure her into giving it to me, and I had no idea there would be family drama attached to it afterward."
"Now people are acting like, i took something sentimental away from the family, even though I literally received it as a gift in front of everyone."
"AITA for refusing to give the camera back after it was already gifted to me?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to give back her camera.
Everyone agreed that as the camera was gifted to the OP, it was not hers to do with as she chose, with others feeling that if anyone was "prioritizing an object over family peace", it was the rest of the OP's family:
"It was a thoughtful gift, and you’ve already cleaned it up and repaired it."
"You will actually use it and treasure it."
"And he was your grandfather, too, so it still is in the family."
"NTA"
"If you “loan” it back to her, you will never see it again."
"I wonder if someone thinks it’s worth a lot of money and wants to sell it."- SalishSeaSweetie
"NTA."
"You have as much right to your grandfather's heirlooms as his other grandchildren."- Limp_Movie_7958
"NTA."
"It’s already yours."
"She screwed up by not telling you about how sentimental it was to the other family members."
"Keep that camera under lock and key so that she doesn’t take it back."- Bey_World_101
"NTA."
"It belonged to your grandfather, too, so it's absolutely appropriate that it ends up with you."
"If you want to 'keep the peace,' offer to sell it to any of the mouthy people who claim to want it for the price of the restoration, including your time."
"Bet they lose interest real fast."- NeverRarelySometimes
"NTA."
"It was a gift, and you’ve now invested money into it."
"It is currently in your possession, and I’m sure you have receipts showing your investment."
"It is your property."
"Do not give it back or let anyone else borrow it."
"Why did no one else care about it up until it was given to you and you put effort into fixing it?"- Expert-Coconut839
"NTA."
"The family that now wants the camera is AHs."
"They had no sentimental attachment."
"It's just fixed now, usable, and probably worth something."
"Tell the family that they are welcome to enjoy the photos you take with it."- VanillaCultural6205
"NTA."
"They all forgot about it until you fixed it up and started using it."- Whole-Flow-8190•
"NTA."
"Asking for a gift back is a pretty awful thing to do."
"Sounds as if she has some very greedy family members."
"If this camera was such a treasure how come no one else repaired it?"- MarionberryPlus8474
"NTA."
"It is not your problem or your fault that she chose to give away the camera without confirming that no one else wanted it."
"You are well within your right to keep that camera especially since you are actively using it."- Scared_Fox_1813
"NTA."
"Someone is probably mad because they think they can get money for it."- Jealous-Contract7426
"NTA."
"Nobody cared about the camera until you restored it."
"Nobody cared when it was sitting on cousin's shelf or in a box in the closet or wherever it was."
"You took the time to restore the camera because you are a photographer."
"Are any of the cousin's asking or demanding the camera photographers?"
"It seems like they want a shelf trophy or they think it's valuable as a sellable item."- abookwyrm
"NTA, YOU’RE not the one 'prioritizing an object over family peace'."
"They apparently care about someone else’s feelings more than yours; he was your grandfather too, why does someone else deserve it more than you?"
"Sounds like you’re the only one who actually will use the camera, and I’m sure your grandfather would rather someone use it than have it just sit on a shelf or on a closet."
"You keep that camera and let using it bring you happiness."
"It’s also tacky af to ask for a gift back."- Euphoric_Designer840
"NTA and don't give it back."
"'Some family members are calling me selfish and saying I’m prioritizing an object over family peace' - that's EXACTLY what they are doing."- Kajunn
"NTA."
"It was a gift, you spent time and money working on it, you are a relative of the original owner: the camera now belongs to you."
"I think the one claiming to be 'deserve' it actually wants it now that they’ve seen its potential."
"When my husband’s grandmother died, the four children went through her belongings and divided them up."
"One of the things not taken was a Chanukah menorah that was old, dirty, and covered in old wax from years of use."
"My husband took the time to clean it and it ended up looking beautiful."
"His aunt (grandmother’s daughter) said she changed her mind and thought she would take it now."
"My husband, who was usually pretty generous about things, refused to give it up."
"He told her that she didn’t want it before he cleaned it up, so she couldn’t have it now that it was pretty again."
"We used it for our family, and then passed it on to our oldest daughter, who still uses it for her family every year."
"There’s lots of good advice in the comments."
"Follow it and keep the camera!"- mjw217
"NTA, and your cousin needs to grow a spine and tell family members to back off."
"It definitely seems possible that there is speculation about the camera’s value that is motivating other family members’ attitude."
"Out of curiosity, what is the model/type of camera and its lenses?"- TuckerCarlsonsOhface
"Wow, definitely NTA!"
"Pot calling the kettle black."
"You're creating a wedge over an item."
"While they're getting upset over an item."
"So they can get upset, but you can't?"- Zoerae87
It's not unusual for multiple family members to covet heirlooms.
Hence, some of the OP's cousins might be angry to have missed out on getting this camera.
Something the OP's cousin should have considered before giving it to the OP.
New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts