Woman Called Out For Refusing To Take Trip With 'Paranoid' Friend Since She's 'Scared Of The World'

The world is a scary place.

It is also a beautiful place.

At least that's how people tend to feel. But can those two groups be friends?

But not everyone is comfortable enough to see it all.

Redditor Travelissue47627 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for telling my friend that I don’t want to travel with her is becuase she is scared of the world?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My friend (24) has been talking about wanting to go to the Grand Canyon this year. "

"She wanted me to join her, and I told her no."

"She found this surprising since I have been wanting to go there."

"She asked why I didn’t wish to go with her, and I told her it was due to a money issue at the moment, but she called bulls**t on that and asked for the real reason."

"The real reason is that she is terrified of the world in general."

"She is afraid to go on planes alone, and she is scared of getting an Uber by herself."

"Going out, she wants everyone’s location, which I have told her no to multiple times."

"She literally thinks people are out to get her."

"It has been an issue over and over because it feels like she is a child and not a grown a** adult."

"I’m a woman, I get being more cautious, but she goes overboard, and her paranoia ruins the outing for me."

"She once asked us to leave a restaurant because she thought a guy was staring at her."

"He was annoyed at the loud table near us."

"I have asked her to go to therapy before, but she believes she doesn’t need it."

"I told her why, in a much less blunt way, and she was hurt."

"We got into an argument and asked if I would go with someone else, and I told her yes."

"She hasn’t responded to my texts since, and I want to know if I f**ked up."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So... AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.

"NTA, it is exhausting to travel with people like that."

"This is a consequence of her own behavior."

"However, don't be surprised if she distances herself from you after this."

"Not because you did something wrong, but because she can't handle that you held a mirror up to her behavior." ~ tsplantdaddy

"Yeah, the mirror thing is real."

"People with that level of anxiety often can't separate 'you're critiquing my behavior' from 'you don't like me as a person.'"

"And honestly, if she does distance herself, that's probably telling in its own way."

"OP already has to manage around her anxiety constantly; if the friendship can't survive one honest conversation, that's not really on OP." ~ MapAromatic485

"You perfectly put this into words."

"I have a friend like this, and she exhausts me lately. Feels bad because she’s a good friend, but I’m tired of her always asking me if I still like her because I’ve pointed out a few things about her behavior, and she also refuses therapy." ~ skewiffcorn

"This!"

"It's emotionally safer and easier for her to just call you an unreasonable B than do the work to get better on her own."

"I wouldn't travel with her either, and you did her a favor by being honest about why - most people would probably give more excuses to be 'nice,' but then she'd never realize no one traveling with her is the consequence of her refusal to get better." ~ SafetyFluid8535

"NTA, but also, consider the answer, 'Our travel styles are too different. We're different people, and my approach would worry you, while I would feel like I was missing out on things I wanted to experience, trying to not to do so. We would get in each other's way of having our best time, and travel is too expensive for me to do that.'"

"Then, if you can, offer an alternative, like a beach trip in a place you both feel safe at, at a different point in time, so she can still enjoy her trip."

"Having different travel styles and personalities is real, and it's totally valid."

"There's nothing wrong with her traveling in a way that makes her feel comfortable, and there is nothing wrong with being adventurous."

"You both have different risk acceptance levels, and maybe there are reasons for that, but even if not, neither is inherently wrong."

"So, focusing on the fact that you are simply different people with different tastes avoids casting judgment and is therefore more tactful." ~ VariousMastodon9779

"I spent two weeks in Europe last year with someone who said they could handle my traveling style (up early, out all day walking around a city, seeing the sights, museums, out late because I'm only there for a limited time, etc.) I made a detailed itinerary for us."

"Right after we landed and got to the first hotel, they decided to change things up... argh, but okay, I'll adapt."

"After the 2nd museum (2nd day), they said they were 'museumed out.'"

"We missed certain activities because they wouldn't listen to my suggestions on getting there on time or before time."

"We only got to do one thing in the morning, had to stop for lunch, back to the hotel 'to res,', one thing in the afternoon, and back at the hotel before dark."

"I normally travel by myself because I like to go quickly and do what I like to do."

"Because this person had never traveled outside the USA, I was trying to be kind."

"Never again."

"I'm going back this year basically to 'redo' the trip I had planned for last year."

"$10k down the drain and a life lesson to share." ~ ladysquirrel1

"NAH. Sounds like this friendship has run its course."

"You are nta for giving an honest answer when pressed, NTA for not wanting to travel with her."

"She is NTA for not responding due to her feelings being hurt, either."

"She may end her friendship with you over this, but that doesn't mean she is an AH."

"You are both experiencing consequences of your actions- she doesn't get to go to the Grand Canyon with you, and you don't get to receive responses from her now." ~ late-nineteenth

"NTA, she pushed you for the honest reason, and you gave it to her."

"Going on a trip with her would be unpleasant for everyone."

"Travelling together works if both people are like-minded, or agree to do their own thing." ~ DebtMindless6356

"NTA, but I don't think she'll want to be your friend anymore."

"Or at least for some time."

"She's hurt and angry."

"She's in denial, and if she doesn't even see that she needs help, then it's not up to you to fix her."

"She has to want it herself."

"No matter what you do or say, it will make her see the light."

"She will probably get there one day, but not any time soon."

"I completely understand that you want to actually enjoy your trip, and you don't want to be responsible for another person who'd be completely dependent on you the whole time."

"You want your trips to be adults only." ~ Gennevieve1

"NTA - When people ask for an honest answer, they almost never want to hear it. But you gave it to her straight, and now the ball is in her court."

"That kind of chronic worrying about everything is exhausting to those people around the worrier."

"That said, I suspect that at some time in her past, worry about NG about things probably served a purpose in keeping her safe, but childhood coping mechanisms often interfere with our adult lives." ~ Old_Fart_on_pogieNTA.

"It isn't always easy to hear the truth. But she really pushed you to say it."

"And she got ugly over it."

"If she is that bad to go out with, then you might as well just stay home. You told her the truth, and you suggested she seek therapy."

"That's all you can do."

"She is not speaking to you because she is angry at you."

"Leave her be."

"If she is a real friend she will come around."

"If not, then she is willing to let this control her life." ~ Zealousideal-House19

"NTA. Never ask questions to which you don’t want to know the answer."

"Your friend sounds really delusional - I have no doubt ladies have to put up with more crap than men, but she’s taken this to almost psychotic levels of paranoia."

"Your friend needs some serious help, and you are absolutely not wrong for not wanting to travel with her." ~ your-mom04605

"NTA. OP, I have serious anxiety."

"I am also very self-aware."

"I have treated my anxiety, and it is getting better, but I don't usually put myself in situations that cause anxiety."

"I also would not purposely expose my friends and family to my anxiety on vacation."

"I don't need to make everyone else miserable along with me."

"The thought of the Grand Canyon and heights gives me anxiety."

"Now, have I kayaked the Colorado River at the base of the Grand Canyon, yes."

"Yes, I have."~ theycallme_mama

"NTA, you were honest with her, but she's clearly not ready to fix her issues."

"You didn't f*ck up the friendship, but she might not forgive you for this."

"It's a difficult situation to be put in for you."

"She clearly has a lot of anxiety."

"If you still value the friendship, just step back, and if she does choose to address her issues, you can choose to be there for her."

"Enjoy your life and take the trips you want without the anxiety of others weighing you down." ~ smk49

Reddit understands your concerns, OP.

You want to go out and have a good time.

You're entitled to your fun.

Let your friend figure it out.

Good Luck.