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Gay Man Kicks Out Date Who Insisted He Put His Dog Outside While They Ate Meal At His House

Man rubbing dog's belly
Gary John Norman/GettyImages

Pet owners see their four-legged friends as members of the family.

Therefore, they will do whatever it takes to love and protect them as they would any other human family member.

Our Redditor is a dog owner and had planned to have a male friend over for dinner, but he acted accordingly after he felt like his dog was being disrespected

He visited the Am I the A**hole (AITA) subReddit and asked for judgment.

KintV asked:

“AITA for refusing to put my dog outside during a date?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“I (M[ale] 51) had been communicating with a guy (M[ale] 46) on Facebook and getting along well. A bit flirty but we had some interests in common we discussed a lot too.”

“I invited him over and cooked a meal for him, and he got here and the vibe was slightly awkward but OK.”

But the OK vibe didn’t last long.

“He asked if I’d put my dog outside. I asked if he was allergic and he said No. And it was like ‘does he want to make a move? We haven’t even eaten or chatted or anything.’”

The OP continued:

“My dog is my family. My life. She loves it when people come over and is really friendly but unobtrusive. In your face for the first few minutes then she calms down and just loves chilling with the people.”

“It was cold out, not freezing, but I didn’t see any reason for my dog to be outside. I said she was OK where she was.”

“And he said ‘Well, I’M not OK’ and in an impulse reaction I just said ‘Don’t let the door hit you on the way out’ and he laughed and then I said ‘I’m serious, this isn’t really working for me anyway’ and he left.”

The OP concluded with:

“He’s since bombarded me with texts telling me I’m a terrible person.”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.

“NTA. I mean it just sounds like you’re incompatible. I wouldn’t necessarily call him an ah as I’d need more info, but to go to someone’s house and demand they put their dog outside is just weird.”

“I would kick someone out if they demanded I put my dog outside too, but then I’d never invite someone over who wasn’t aware I had a dog or that would want my dog removed in any case.”

“Did he know you had a dog before coming over? Is he afraid of dogs? ‘In your face for a few minutes’ can be pretty scary to someone who isn’t used to dogs, particularly if it’s a larger breed.”

“Could have just put the dog in another room tbh, or used a room separator/gate.” – PutTheKettleOn20

The OP came back with a clarification.

“He knew I had a dog. She’s all over my Facebook. He has ‘liked’ posts that she’s in.”

“The ‘in your face’ part is just an exuberant over friendly greeting. Not remotely threatening. She’s just a super sweet dog.”

Reddit continued to weigh in.

“Complete NTA then. What did he think would happen if and when you eventually moved in together? Was he hoping he’d be able to muscle the dog out of the picture?”

“When you start dating someone with a pet, you gotta realise they and the pet are a package deal. Anyone who doesn’t like pets shouldn’t date someone who has them.” – lordmwahaha

“NTA. I would’ve just said ‘There are no A H’s here, you’re just sadly incompatible’ until he started bothering you about it afterward. I think you saved yourself some time by finding out early that he’s a jerk.” – 5CatsNoWaiting

“Definitely nta OP. If this guy had a reason for not wanting the dog around, he needed to be clear and honest about that. You can’t just tell someone how to treat their animal, especially on first meeting them, extra, especially without any kind of reason for doing so.”

“He acted really weird, and the harassment after is also weird.” – rebbletrebble


“What a weird reaction. It almost seems like a power play attempt to understand your boundaries and how firm you’re on them.”

“Or perhaps (if we don’t want to always think badly about people), he is ashamed to admit that he is afraid of dogs, because sometimes when a person admits that they’re afraid of dogs, they aren’t understood or are dismissed.”

“Either way, you’re not a terrible person for priotirizing your dog, who’s family, over some random dude.” – 000-Hotaru_Tomoe

“NTA – I’m not the biggest fan of dogs (big dogs mainly), but I would never ask a person to put their dog out or close them off in another room. Unless there is an absolute good reason (like safety risk or something to the dog). That’s their home, I’m just a guest.” – Effing-Awesome

“NTA and way to dodge that bullet, brother! That was an absolute test by a controlling person to see what he could force on you first thing. If he hadn’t already known you had a dog, that would be one thing. What an AH. Your response was gold and you’re a freaking hero. 😁” – SplendidDogFeet

“NTA. If allergies or a fear of dogs was the case, I’d just put my dog in another room for the duration of the visit and then never invite them over again since we wouldn’t be compatible. A dog is family and you don’t leave family outside.” – iForgot2Laugh

“He was testing you. To see how submissive you would be. If you were all apologetic and did what he asked even when he said he wasn’t allergic, he’d Know he can have control. Good job you saw the red flag and showed him the door. His ego is bruised, and he sounds like a little narcissist.” – Bright_shinysyndrome


“At the very beginning, this a an important red flag. Our animals are part of the family. If he doesn’t like dogs, it’s a big red flag for the future. Now he just asks you to put her out, then it will be to find her a new house if you live together.”

“You’ll find someone for you. And maybe you should take photos of your dogs to put on Facebook, and precise that she’s really important to you. This guy will understand how rude he was to ask you to get rid of her for the diner !”
– Lyzab77

“NTA but neither is he for not wanting to be around a dog. Obviously, if he isn’t comfortable around dogs, there isn’t a future between you two anyway. He is TA for blowing up your phone and saying mean things.”

“Edit: I saw OP’s comment saying he knew he had a dog, so he is TA for coming over anyway knowing he doesn’t like being around dogs.” – pinkpink0430

“Based on the info in your post and some comments, NTA. You’re just incompatible. I wanted to go for N A H, but him texting you that you’re a bad person over this is just immature. Block that guy and move on.”

“Sure, you could’ve handled the situation a bit better, but I also wouldn’t exactly be thrilled if someone told me to put my dogs into the garden for no reason.” – Anxious_Sound_9823

“NTA. He shows up and immediately starts demanding you remove your dog? Red flag 1. I’d have said the same thing. Red flag 2, he’s now guilting you for not caving to him. You dodged a bullet. Block the dude.” – DoingMyLilBest

“NTA If someone has an issue with dogs, they need to mention it before going to someone’s home. You could have met at a restaurant.”

“I might put my dog in another room if there was an actual issue, but there is no way he is left outside unattended. He’s never outside unattended.” – SquareBand9870

“It was N A H until he sent you the texts, now it’s NTA. Fine to not like dogs, fine to not want a dog to get in your face, fine to want the dog to go away.”

“Fine to leave when you realize this won’t work because of the dog. Rude to call you a terrible person over it. And I’m a person who mostly doesn’t care for dogs and REALLY doesn’t want them in my face.” – piedpipershoodie

“NTA if anyone is it’s him that the AH. He gives no reason why your dog needs to be outside and gets upset when you choose your pets wellbeing over his request, then harasses you for your decision.”

“Without any justification other than just cause, it makes no sense to require the dog to be put outside, especially when he had prior knowledge of the dog and knew from your FB that your dog is important to you.”

“To me this kinda just screams like he would be the type of person to try and date a single parent but then get upset when he wasn’t made the priority. Dude grow up the dog or child was there before you and will be there for a long time.”

“If you can’t handle playing second fiddle for at least a little while beyond a first date with a dog and forever with a child, then you’re not ready for that kind of relationship and probably never will be.” – HTSully

Overall, Redditors thought the OP’s reaction was understandable.

But it also sounded like the date wasn’t going well to begin with due to an immediate lack of chemistry.

The complaint about the dog probably confirmed it was time to nip the situation in the bud.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo