Kids can do the darndest things.
They can't help but be inquisitive.
It is a natural part of growing up to engage in certain behaviors.
But sometimes... kids can be dangerous.
And certain "behaviors" may need a look into.
Redditor Disastrous_Wash8968 found herself in a personal dilemma regarding the safety of her pets and her co-worker's kid's behavior, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
She asked:
"AITAH for telling my coworker I can’t babysit her daughter anymore?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (F[emale] 20) am very close with one of my coworkers (F 31)."
"She has a very sweet 9-year-old daughter."
'I babysit this daughter most weekends, for free."
"I also have a lot of pets, including several fish tanks. "
"My coworker’s daughter has always been super interested in my pets."
"Wanting to hold, feed, and watch them."
"One day, I noticed a bad smell coming from one of the tanks."
"I looked around and noticed several dead fish on the floor behind the tank."
"My tanks have floating plants that keep the fish from jumping out, not to mention the number of them that had come out was very odd."
"I have cameras in my house, mostly to watch my pets while I’m at work."
"I looked to see if there was anything odd captured on the camera closest to the fish tank and saw something disturbing."
"My coworker's kid has stuck her hand in the tank, held it there (I’m assuming until one of the fish swam near it), pulled it out, tossed it behind the tank, then repeated this several more times."
"Then she walked away, leaving the fish to die."
"As soon as I saw that, I got very angry and called my coworker and told her that her daughter was not allowed back to my place."
"I explained what happened, expecting her to be disgusted and apologize for her daughter’s actions."
"Instead, she got mad at me."
"I had called her on Friday and was supposed to watch her daughter the next day while she worked."
"I explained that I wouldn’t put my animals in harm's way by letting her come back to my house. "
"She said some stupid sh*t about people making mistakes and that her daughter is young."
"This pissed me off even more, and I told her that this is how serial killers are made and that her daughter needed therapy before she decided killing animals was boring and moved on to humans, then hung up on her."
"It’s been a few days, I’m feeling very conflicted."
"I love this kid."
"I’ve been babysitting her since I was 17 and she was 6."
"She’s a very sweet and quiet girl, and from what I’ve personally observed, she loves my animals."
"But I have video evidence of her killing my fish."
"I don’t want her to try and go for one of my other pets, or kill any more of my fish."
"I genuinely can’t think of a reason she would have done this that doesn’t involve her just wanting to kill the fish."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am I the a**hole for not letting her come back to my house?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"NTA. She knows she’s killing the fish."
"But also, you’re 20, and why are you spending every weekend babysitting for free?"
"Even without the very disturbing fish situation, please enjoy your free time."
"You are not obligated to be someone else’s free childcare." ~ No_Teacher_3313
"Exactly!"
"Even with the animal issue aside (which is alarming and OP is right not to let her back in the house, or it could escalate to other animals)!"
"The amount of money the coworker is saving by having OP babysit for free for 3 years is WILD!"
"It sounds like when OP was younger, the coworker saw an opportunity to take advantage of a teenager’s good nature." ~ Proud_Fee_1542
"Coworker?"
"Not even a friend or relative, and you’re playing nanny for free for an unparented little sociopath."
"How did you even get into this situation?"
"Sounds like your older coworker just completely took advantage of a teenager for free childcare."
"That was totally inappropriate."
"Of course, she’s a shi**y person in other ways too." ~ Otherwise_Chemist920
"NTA. Plus, at age 9, the kid should know better." ~ Terrible_Mind2275
"Stop being a people pleaser, you’re being taken advantage of."
"She will figure it out."
"Protect your animals and screw her for downplaying her kid killing your fish. NTA." ~ PissFingerz42069
"NTA. She is 9 years old."
"At nine years old, most non-mentally-disabled children know that fish die when out of water."
"At that age, they also usually have a decently developed sense of empathy."
"This child's behavior is abnormal for her age and extremely problematic."
"You have not indicated that she has a condition that would impair her understanding of the world compared to her peers, which indicates it was likely done knowing what would happen to the fish."
"You cannot trust this child around your pets.'
"This is a safety issue, at this point."
"She killed your pets for her amusement." ~ DeadGodsDream
"NTA. But why were you ever doing free babysitting for anyone?"
"And why are you still describing this child as sweet when you have video evidence of her killing your fish?"
"She's not 2 or 3, where she may not understand what she's doing."
"She's 9." ~ somuchsong
"The way her mother handled the situation escalated this."
"She should've opened with an apology on her daughter's behalf as soon as you told her what happened."
"I think the child deserves to explain to her parent what happened (with the fish)."
"Did anyone ask her?"
"I can’t think of a reason to kill the fish, so yes, an apology is in order."
"But it bothered me that no one mentioned talking to the girl."
"Her development, or the lack thereof, is an issue for the parent."
"The effect of her behavior on the OP (and potentially on others in the future) is her immediate concern." ~ ABBOTTsucks
"NTA. AT ALL!"
"That kid has issues, and harming animals is a big red flag."
"How dare she dismiss your concerns?"
"Her child is nine and knows exactly what she is doing."
"You are not responsible for caring for her child."
"You are 20 and should be out enjoying your life."
"End it right now." ~ Possible_Patience_84
"I know this might be excessive, but OP should take the footage to the police and have the neighbor reimburse them."
"Certain fish and caring for fish can be expensive."
"I get some people might think they're just fish and to let it go, but imagine if it were a dog or cat the kid killed?"
"Fish are just as important as either of those pets.'
"And it was several fish too." ~ WaddleDeeWithAGun
"NTA. Your response was exactly right."
"The girl is showing early signs of sociopathy or a related personality disorder and needs to see a mental health professional urgently."
"However, you have been a damned fool for doing what must be hundreds, if not thousands, of hours of babysitting free of charge." ~ PurpleEmotional1401
"NTA. This kid is 9 and plenty old enough to know exactly what she's doing."
"She deliberately killed several fish without a care because she wanted to."
"The fact that her mother is making excuses for her is even worse." ~ winterworld561
"NTA. Yes, kids make mistakes."
"But she’s 9."
"That’s plenty old enough to know that this was wrong, and she did it anyway."
"That’s not a mistake, that’s a choice."
"And it was a choice to KILL your animals."
"Not a risk you can take with the rest of your pets."
"And you’re right, the kid needs therapy." ~ More_Maintenance7030
"NTA. She basically argued with you that she should continue to be able to use you for free babysitting, no matter what she or her daughter does to you, your house, or your pets."
"She’s about to learn real fast about how lucky she had it."
"Don’t let people walk all over you."
"You’ve been very nice and accommodating."
"The kid didn’t accidentally knock over a vase after tripping."
"This is so different, and the mother's response is just appalling." ~ dart1126
OP came back to chat...
"I feel like I need to clarify some things."
"I’m using babysitting loosely here."
"For the most part, we would watch TV together, or she would watch me play games in the living room."
"She would hang out with the cats and dogs and sometimes help me with my other animals, something she would ask me to do."
"I wouldn’t follow her around the house, especially the past year, because I trusted her to make good decisions, and I have cameras that send me notifications for loud noises."
"I assure you all that she was receiving attention."
"If this was something she did for attention, then why do it now and not in the three years I’ve been babysitting her?"
"Also, to clarify why I did it for free."
"My coworker is a very busy woman and a single mother who works two jobs."
"She’s also very helpful at work and often is the one who covers shifts when needed."
"I also didn’t mind having her daughter around because she would offer to help clean up while she was here."
"She’s also a very quiet kid, very willing to sit and watch TV for hours at a time."
"It never felt particularly like a job, and I didn’t want to make her mother pay for another thing on top of everything she already pays for."
Reddit is with you.
It's clear you care about this girl.
But this sort of behavior is difficult to ignore.
Maybe a calm sit-down with you and her Mom can lead to a solution.
Good Luck.
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