As exciting as it is to welcome guests into your home, it is also a lot of work.
Being the hosts, it is your job to ensure that your houseguests are happy and comfortable when they’re staying with you.
If your houseguests are only staying with you for a night or two, it doesn’t require a great deal of effort on your part.
The longer they stay, however, the more exhausting and frustrating hosting them can start to become.
Redditor Todisfreakingcool recently moved into a new house with their family.
Not long after their arrival, the original poster (OP)’s in-laws decided to pay a visit.
While the OP was initially fine to host, their inclination to be hospitable began to steadily decline after their in-laws continued to extend their stay.
Leading the OP to decide that somewhat drastic measures were called for.
Unsure if they would be making the right decision, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for kicking my wife’s family out after they kept extending their stay?”
The OP explained why they were feeling a growing need to show their in-laws the door.
“We just bought a house 2 weeks ago.”
“We’re not even fully unpacked, when my wife’s parents said ‘hey next month can we come stay 3 nights over the weekend?'”
“It would be her mom, dad and the two youngest siblings.”
“The week they asked they changed their mind, packed the car and just drove here.”
“They got here on a Sunday and said we’re only staying 3 nights.”
“Then 2 nights into it said we want to stay 1 more night.”
“Now her sister wants to come up here and spend the weekend.”
“This whole week there’s a few people staying over.”
“I WANT EVERYONE GONE.”
“I’m working late to not come home.”
“My routine is gone.”
“I need to mow and do other house chores.”
“They keep our toddler up late and just sit at the table drinking beer.”
“Yeah sure they bought us some great house gifts and I feel twisted.”
“I do care about them and want my wife’s family and want her to see them.”
“Am I the a**hole for telling my wife never to do this again and asking them to leave early?”
“Also never allow people to stay here during the week when I have to go to work?”
“AITA for wanting to kick my wife’s family out?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole for wanting to ask their in-law’s to get out.
Nearly everyone agreed that the OP’s in-laws had more than outworn their welcome, and needed to be told so, even if they urged the OP to do this as diplomatically as possible:
“NTA.”
“It’s totally understandable.”
“But maybe tone it down a bit, especially if you haven’t said anything to them about this.”
“Maybe tonight, at dinner, instead of avoiding them, you open a conversation about the date they plan to leave.”
“Let them know you would like your home back.”
“To them it’s a house.”
“But to you, it’s your home.”
“Big difference.”
“You deserve to live in peace.”
“Don’t ask them to leave, instead, tell them something like, ‘it has been great having you here, thanks for coming’.”
“‘We will be needing to resume our regular life before the weekend, so I’d like to do a final farewell on Thursday evening’.”
“What kind of food would you like?’”
“People can only take advantage of you if you let them.”
“Stop letting them.”- FinanciallySecure9
“NTA.”
“Your wife needs to tell them it’s time to dip.”- OptimistPrime527
“NTA.”
“You need to have this conversation with your wife.”
“You need time to unpack the house without a bunch of people in the way and without having to host anyone.”
“They can plan visits/stays after you’ve settled in.”- Visual-Lobster6625
“NTA.”
“Only issue I have is your spouse should have did it instead of you.”
“Got a problem with her family, tell her and ask her to take care of it.”
“She should do the same to yours.”- Moron-Whisperer
“NTA.”
“Put them to work!”
“You just moved in 2 weeks ago!”
“It’s insane that they are treating your house like they’re on vacation.”
“‘Hey can you give me a hand with this?'”
“‘You don’t mind washing the dishes do you? I’ve got to mow the lawn’.”
“‘Would you give me a hand outside? Then have them weed the flower beds’.”
“Do you want to dust or vacuum?'”
“‘Yeah, I understand you want to sit and relax, but we just moved in 2 weeks ago, and you’re family, not guests. ‘”
“‘So we need help, and family helps family! You can go home or you can help us’.”
“‘Sooo Do you want to dust or do you want to vacuum!'”
“You are making it too easy for them to hang out and be in YOUR space.”
“Of course they are extending their stay!”
“Put them to work and they’ll want to leave.”- Southern_Hamster_338
“NTA, but have you even talked to your wife about it?”
“Is she annoyed with the situation at all?”
“Either way, she needs to be the one to tell them to leave, and also have the conversation that they can’t just show up and stay during the week unplanned.”- Fair_Theme_9388
“NTA.”
“Houseguests are annoying and them keeping your toddler up late is not cool.”
“That being said, have you talked to your wife at all?”
“How does she feel about this?”
“Telling her to ‘never do this again’,” does that mean ‘never invite her family to the house again’?”
“Because I could see that becoming an issue in your marriage.”
“Need to mow the lawn?”
“Mow the lawn! If they complain that you’re not hosting, politely remind them that they’ve extended their stay and that the lawn won’t mow itself.”
“Need to do other chores, go about your routine?”
“Just do it. It’s your house!”
“While I sympathize with your desire to have your space clear again, you can take some proactive steps even if you don’t feel like you can kick them out early after talking to your wife.”- Inevitable-Spirit491
“NTA, except you shouldn’t ‘tell’ your wife anything.”
“You should sit down like adults and discuss the situation and come to an agreed-upon plan for the future.”- Stormschance
“NTA.”
“Your wife needs to nip this in the bud right now and set out firm visiting boundaries for the future or it’s going to continue on ad infinitum.”- DazzlingPotion
“NTA.”
“And your wife needs to step up and do the right thing.”- Mywordsandopinion
“NTA.”
“It’s early enough, you are setting a precedent, so talk to your wife.”
“Tell her you are literally avoiding coming home, are exhausted, and that you feel invaded ( hopefully she feels the same, but if not, she has to understand how disruptive this is).”
“Have her say ( with your support, but she has to voice it), the guest room is now closed and there will be house rules going forward that you set, there will be no visits without a formal invitation from you and your wife BOTH, no weeknight visits, and there will be conditions and no extensions.”
“If they comply they will be invited back for a preset time.”
“If not, they will not be houseguests in the future.”
“Only dinner guests.”- mnfanjk
“NTA.”
“It’s important to set boundaries now, or your entire life will be like this.”
“Communicate with your wife instead of holding on to your animosity.”- RoyallyOakie
“NTA.”
“You’re definitely nta for wanting to enjoy your new home without unexpected guests overstaying their welcome.”
“There is an old saying ‘fish and guests stink after 3 days’.”
“I would recommend that you set some boundaries now though.”
“Proper guests don’t upset your routines, your kiddos’ sleep schedules, and work life.”
“It seems they are the type that don’t realize their interruptions, even with good intentions, or worse don’t care.”
“But either way, you have to let them know.”
“Your home is not a hotel.”- Are_we_there_yeti_
There were a few, however, who felt like the OP was giving his in-laws a bit too much power, and also urged the OP to realize that kicking his in-laws out of his house could have severe consequences on his marriage:
“You can still mow the lawn and do house chores.”
“And you can use your words and tell them to STFU if they are keeping the baby up.”
“There is a middle way here, which you are overlooking for the nuclear approach.”
“You open your mouth and say, ‘You all have to keep the noise down; I have a sleeping child’.”
“‘Thank you’.”
“YWBTA if you don’t at least try handling this like a mature adult first.”- Unfair_Finger5531
Causing drama amongst your family is never going to end well.
However, family or not, staying rent-free for an unspecified amount of time in someone else’s home without an invitation is never ok.
Even though most people somehow still need to be reminded of this.
The OP’s in-laws included.