There’s no denying that weddings are expensive.
Indeed, so much so that when their big day finally arrives, most brides and grooms need to alter their plans for their dream wedding just a little bit.
In some cases, however, some soon-to-be married couples will not give up their plans for their ideal wedding.
And will do their best to find the money to pay for it, somehow.
The sister of Redditor Bright_Goose_149 was soon to be married.
When the original poster (OP) heard about her sister’s wedding plans, she wondered how she was going to be able to afford it.
As it turned out, the OP later learned that her sister planned on paying for it with a little help from the OP.
Help the OP was in no way willing to give.
Wondering if she was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not chipping in to fund my sister’s wedding?”
The OP explained why she refused to help her sister’s wedding dreams become a reality:
“Hello reddit users, I’m currently in a sticky situation with my sister.”
“I (23 F[emale]) am the youngest of three sisters.”
“There is Veronica (31) and Blaire (24).”
“Blaire and I haven’t always been the closest to Veronica due to the age gap, as we grew up, we started to bond more.”
“Veronica recently got engaged last year to her bf.”
“My family really likes him because he’s a genuinely great guy and treats Veronica and her son (9) like royalty.”
“They plan to have their wedding this year in August. I have never been married or participated in the process of getting married, but it just seemed a bit rushed since.”
“My sister has a good-paying job as a medical secretary, and her boyfriend is the CEO of a startup; they are pretty well off, as the apartment they currently rent runs around 3800 to 4000 dollars a month downtown.”
“Toronto is not just known to be the home of Drake, but it’s notoriously known to be super expensive.”
“So just imagine the price to pay for a wedding ceremony in the area.”
“My sister originally wanted their wedding to be held in Italy or Mexico before our mom convinced her to stay in the city so the family won’t need to spend extra money on flights.”
“They’re both doing as much as they can to try to save here and there, putting more hours at work, reducing ordering out, etc.”
“They even asked to borrow my mother’s car (60) to start doing food deliveries in the winter.”
“However, my mother recently held a mini family meeting with my Blaire and me to ask on behalf of Veronica to donate in 2k dollars to help fund her wedding.”
“Blaire and I are both currently going back to school in Fall 2025, and are working part-time jobs for minimum wage.”
“I try to save as much as I can with each paycheck as I’m saving to move out and buy a car with my partner of 4 years.”
“On top of that, Blaire and I also pay at least 1000 dollars every month (500 each on 600-700 paycheques) to my mother for rent too.”
“The whole family even babysits her son bi-weekly every weekend for free and never asks for payment.”
“In honesty, I can afford the 2k to chip in; however, morally, I can’t get myself to agree to that egregious request.”
“I saved as much as I could before starting school, and now for my own plans and goals in life.”
“The thought of me donating hard-earned money that took my years to save, that won’t be paid back, is dreadful.”
“In an effort to make my sister and me feel better, my mom told me that Veronica asked her to pay 10k to fund the wedding while her fiancé’s parents agreed to pay only 4k.”
“My parents will most likely have to reach into their savings that is supposed to be for their retirement in their homeland.”
“I don’t want them to do that for the sake of wanting them to retire comfortably.”
“I’m expected to give an answer next month, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Look out for myself or be a good sister?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to contribute to her sister’s wedding.
Everyone agreed that if the OP’s sister couldn’t afford her wedding, then she should change her plans, not expect others to crowdsource the cost:
“NTA.”
“They need to have the wedding THEY can afford, not the wedding other people can afford for them.”- EastPirate6505
“I stopped reading when you said you pay your mom 1k each for rent?”
“Like what?”
“Tell her she is more than welcome to use the rent money for your sister.”
“NTA.”- Affectionate_Ad_3983
“NTA.”
“I don’t believe in crowdfunding, which is, at the end of the day, a party.”
“If you can’t afford it, have a smaller wedding.”
“But even if you are going to ask for money for your wedding, you should ask people with more money than you, not less.”
“Going to the people in your family with the least disposable income hat in hand makes you a huge AH.”- Gloomy_Ruminant
“NTA.”
“You don’t have to contribute.”
“Your sister doesn’t have to contribute.”
“Your mother doesn’t have to contribute.”
“As the oldest sibling, I’d never dream of approaching my younger siblings for money for my wedding.”
“I’d be mortified if anyone suggested it.”- embopbopbopdoowop
“I’d say sorry, but no.”
“You don’t have extra money… Mom can take a couple of months of the rent she charges you and use that instead.”
“NTA.”- rainyhawk
“NTA.”
“I don’t understand why their only solution is to get more money, through side jobs and family members, rather than cut back on wedding expenses.”
“Especially since your sister has a child already, she shouldn’t be blowing tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding they can’t afford.”
“And it’s very unfair to demand that family members, especially those who only work part-time because they are still studying.”
“Don’t empty your accounts for someone else’s party.”- Jerseygirl2468
“NTA.”
“Tell her no.”
“They can delay the wedding and save properly or cut back.”
“My wedding was 15k, and damn it, we paid it ourselves.”
“Your sister is acting entitled.”- PrincessCG
“NTA.”
“But suggest you and Blair get on the same page and answer together.”
“It’s entirely reasonable to point out that you and Blair are currently part-time workers attending college and saving for needed expenses like car and housing, so at this time you do not have disposable income to help fund a wedding.”
“Your sister’s problem isn’t a wedding ceremony.”
“Most churches, and I believe other religions, will perform a ceremony for a nominal fee.”
“Your sister’s problem is having a wedding reception, which is basically a party.”
“And here she has alternatives.”
“She could have a smaller wedding, and shop for a used gown.”
“She could look outside of Toronto for a wedding venue – Kitchener or St Catherines or Kawartha Lake, it’s not unreasonable to ask people to drive an hour or so to a wedding.”
“Basically you’re being asked to pay to upscale her dream party.”
“I don’t think that particularly should be viewed as being a ‘good sister’.”
“It’s not like you’re being asked to take money from savings to pay for a life saving medical treatment, which a ‘good sister’ would do.”- Constant_Host_3212
“If you’re generous you offer whatever you can afford for their wedding gift.”
“Them asking money for a wedding is tacky as sh*t, if they can’t afford the party then it’s their prerogative to trim off the excess fat and budget.”
“I don’t understand this mentality of going around cap in hand asking your immediate family to donate to your wedding fund.”
“As a guy, id be mortified asking my own family not to mention asking my partners family for money.”
“NTA.”- PresentationUnited43
“NTA.”
“Tell them if they cant afford to fund their own wedding, they can save thousands by not getting married.”
“The bride’s siblings are under no obligation to pay for her wedding.”- Missfunkshunal
“NTA.”
“You sure Veronica is asking for this money or is it that V asked your mom & mom is pushing the request onto you?”
“Either way, simply say you can’t bc you work a job while going to school and have a budget for your money.”
“Wedding planning isn’t in your budget.”- BlueyIsAwesome
“NTA.”
“If people can’t afford their wedding then they shouldn’t be having it in the first place.”
“Or, they have a wedding they can afford.”
“I actually don’t understand where this kind of culture came from because in my culture, it should be funded by both the groom and bride, and if they are lucky, either one or both sets of parents would sponsor it – I’ve never heard or known or even been to a wedding where siblings would chip in for their brother/sister’s wedding.”- Koquet
It’s not exactly unreasonable for someone to ask their family for financial assistance.
Asking for that assistance for a lavish wedding, however, is pushing it.
Especially when the people you are asking don’t have the money to help.