“Mo Money, Mo Problems.”
Those wise words, originally featured in a Notorious B.I.G. track nearly fifteen years ago, have rung true and been repeated ever since.
One Redditor likely found himself with those words on his mind during a recent experience he outlined in a post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), known as CrossoverKing0925 on the site, led with a blunt title:
“AITA for refusing to buy my GF a 6 figure car”
OP kicked off with a quick financial landscape.
“I (24-year-old male) am dating a woman (26-year-old female) who we’ll refer to as A.”
For some context I drive a 2019 Nissan GT-R. It was my dream car growing up and I told myself when I ‘made it’ and made enough to afford it financially and not have it be everything in my bank account.”
“I work a job making close to 6 figures and I’ve learn to invest in stocks and crypto I’ve made some good money but of course stocks and crypto are never promised and could crumble tomorrow.”
Recently, OP faced a request.
“My GF drives a 2018 BMW M3 and it’s a very nice car in good condition with no issues under the hood.”
“The other day she suggested I should order her a new Tesla for Christmas. The one she wanted before I put work into my car was more than my car had cost.”
“Of course I’m not saying I don’t or won’t spend money on her but she drives a very nice car that I paid for (she pays the insurance and for the maintenance and upkeep) that is still a luxury car that drives well.”
OP was very honest with her.
“I argued with her that I wasn’t going to drop 6 figures on a car when I’m looking at buying us a house.”
“Yes even though we’re under the ‘dating’ title we have extremely strong love for each other…”
“…sh** she has my name tatted on her (not my idea) and while I love her and am always buying her what I think she’d like or told me she liked as gifts I just really think it’s financially irresponsible to buy a new car for no reason.”
That led to some friction.
“She tried insinuating I was being cheap because I spent more money on my car than I did hers and my car has work in it. She tried accusing me of not loving her and ‘only giving a fu** about myself.’ “
“I genuinely don’t think I’m the asshole for spending my money that I work for on whatever I’d like (yes she works a job that she finds ideal and went to school for and enjoys) and I’m not pocket watching her.”
“AITA for refusing to buy her a new car?”
OP later added an edit with another key detail.
“Just to clarify when I do math (i automatically factor in taxes because I don’t consider it my money or when I spend on something it’s not whatever the sticker price is it’s with taxes and fees included in my brain.”
“What I should’ve specified it that I pull in close to six figures AFTER taxes, my apologies for any miscommunication on my end”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors assured OP he took the right approach.Â
“NTA The line ‘looking at buying US a house’ more than seals the not a ah vote let alone the fact her current luxury car you bought her is only 3 years old!”
“You are looking long term together not a temporary status symbol.” — PurpleJager
“She should be thankful to receive a roll of toilet paper. NO ONE on this earth should expect anything for Christmas regardless of their financial situation.”
“NTA” — Eriallo
“You’re making ‘close to six figures’ and spending that kind of money on both your and her cars, and she wants you to spend your money on a Tesla? You’re wasting your money on all of the cars.”
“Hint: near six figures is a lot of money for a 24 year old but it isn’t all that much should she get pregnant, a medical emergency arise, or you lose that job. NTA” — yayahahabub
Many issued a common warning.
“Does she guilt trip you to buy her things?”
“Does she often call you cheap if you don’t buy her the right things?”
“I don’t want to read far into your relationship, but be careful she isn’t just using you or something”
“Also NTA at all! You already got her a car!.and are buying a house!” — Starry_lady_
“NTA Dude run. Seriously, or she’ll be wanting to upgrade the car yearly. And don’t get me started on when you have kids and she wants them in baby Hugo Boss etc and it’s destroyed in seconds.” — Livingoffcoffee
“NTA, your girlfriend is an entitled a**hole amongst other MANY things. Does she work? If she wants a car she can buy one her own damn self.”
“Sounds like you are nothing but a sugar daddy to her. If all your stocks/wealth/status crumbled tomorrow, do you honestly think she’d stick around?” — sickofdriving007
“I make 6 figures after taxes and the idea of buying a $100k+ car when I have a relatively new luxury vehicle in my driveway is downright preposterous. NTA.”
“I know you’re ‘in love’ and all that jazz but are you sure she’s looking for an MRS and not an ATM?” — pudgesquire
“NTA. And you need to reassess. She’s displaying gloriously apple red flags that you should be paying attention to. The entitlement and financial irresponsibility on display here burns.”
“This is who she is. She’s showing you. Better listen or you are going to regret it down the road.” — GloryIV
As responses came in, OP shared a few more thoughts.
“Some comments were suggesting I show her the thread.”
“While I thought I was in the wrong I didn’t think I’d get an overwhelming amount of people pretty much in agreement with each other that her actions are gold digger-ish.”
“I don’t know if it will make her more offended or the slap in the face she needs.”
If the Reddit feedback has any sway at all, it appears OP’s girlfriend will be disappointed this Christmas, at the very least.