in , , ,

Teen Called ‘Disrespectful’ For Refusing To Cook For Siblings And Parents Who Insult His Food

Teenager stands at kitchen island with a bowl of eggs in front of him.
kate_sept2004 / Getty Images

For some people, cooking is a form of therapy.

It can often be a way to communicate with oneself.

There are so many people who say they cook or bake but rarely eat it.

It’s the thrill of making the dish that feeds them.

So it can be unfortunate when others take advantage of or disparage that talent.

Redditor Live_Frosting_7812 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for refusing to cook for my family despite cooking for myself and saying they deserve to go hungry?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So I (16 M[ale]) still live with my family, obviously.”

“I have chores just like my siblings.”

“But something I do for fun and because I love and have a passion for it is cooking.”

“I started cooking for myself three years ago.”

“I had cooked before, but nothing like the last three years.”

“I enjoy making my own breakfast and dinner and even lunch if I have no school.”

“My parents saw I was cooking more, and they added that to my list of chores because Mom said they didn’t want to waste food, and Dad said it was rude to cook for only one person.”

“And I didn’t mind cooking for everyone.”

“But they were so f**king ungrateful.”

“My siblings and parents alike.”

“Complaints I got were:”

“Too spicy, wanted potatoes instead of rice…”

“Wanted rice instead of noodles…”

“Wanted beef instead of chicken…”

“Wanted something plain instead of spicy…”

“Wanted no veggies, wanted a more veggie-focused meal…”

“Wanted lasagna instead of pasta bake…”

“Didn’t want soup, didn’t like the flavor of soup…”

“Didn’t want something sweet, wanted something sweet…”

“Changed mind and wanted meat well done, wanted more kinds of potatoes and the list goes on.”

“None of this was constructive either.”

“It was whining and complaining, and I did start out asking what I should do, but everyone wanted something different, and I’m still in school!! ”

“I can’t spend 6 hours cooking dinner on a school night so my siblings can have pizza, fries, nuggets, tacos, and my parents can have steak and potatoes and gravy and all the trimmings or none of the trimmings but five different kinds of potatoes.”

“I even made a weekly meal plan for a while, and they wouldn’t complain until after they ate it.”

“I spoke to my family about the way they were behaving, and my mom told me that’s the reality of cooking for a family.”

“She said my siblings and dad had always been like that with her.”

“I pointed out I hadn’t been, and she just said that, and she said yeah, but it’s part of life.”

“I told her so she decided to treat me worse than I treated her, and she told me I was being difficult, and I told her no, she was taking everyone else’s behavior out on me.”

“A few times, my dad or one of my siblings would say I wasn’t a very good cook, and they hated eating my food.”

“So I said I wouldn’t cook anymore, and Dad and Mom would get pissed, and my siblings would call me lame.”

“So I stopped cooking for them.”

“I cook just for me again, and my parents are furious.”

“They all come home hungry, and I have nothing ready for them.”

“Not even my siblings.”

“My parents told me it’s disrespectful, and I cannot continue, and I said they were all the disrespectful and ungrateful ones shi**ing all over what I made for them.”

“They told me I shouldn’t be okay with letting them go hungry, and I said they all deserve to go hungry.”

“My parents said it was a disgusting attitude, and they grounded me for two weeks.”

The OP was left to wonder:


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. You are a minor.”

“It’s your parent’s responsibility to take care of you.”

“Cooking is a wonderful interest to have, and I hope your enjoyment is not ruined by your family’s behavior.”

“It’s one thing to share your dishes alongside the rest of the food during meals, but another entirely to be responsible for feeling all your family members.” ~ MsGeek

“This is what really saddens me.”

“OP obviously has a passion for cooking, but his family is doing their best to suck all the joy out of it.”

“OP, if – and I seriously mean IF – you go back to cooking for your family, it’s time to enforce a new rule or two.”

“However you go about getting groceries for the meals you make, it’s time to add some very basic sandwich ingredients to the list.”

“Tell your family that if they don’t like what you’ve made, they can make themselves a damn sandwich.”

“Each time they whine, you don’t make dinner the next night.”

“Each new complaint adds another night of no cooking.”

“If they want the convenience of a ready dinner, they’ll start to figure out their behavior needs to be altered.” ~ DragonCelica

“No high school student should be responsible for feeding the family!”

“They got along when OP was not cooking, so they won’t starve if he stops.”

“But OP is a high school student.”

“He has friends and homework!”

“This is too much for a kid.”

“And the way they demand that he cook but, at the same time, complain about what he makes?”

“I bet they eat ALL of it before complaining.”

“OP, please join a club or a sport when you’re not home, and you won’t have time to cook.

“Saying you’re going to a friend’s house wouldn’t stop the complaints about you not cooking.”

“I can’t see any other way out of this.”

“Your family sucks, dude.” ~ SweetWaterfall0579

“Good idea but with all the drama I’d just give up – your mother is weird – I would Have thought she’d have your back.”

“NTA and I wouldn’t cook them anything.”

“You’re aT school – you’re unpaid and they’ve pissed the chef off big time.”

“Rude ungrateful mob.”

“The family are the AHs.” ~ Wedgetails

“I totally understand why you stopped cooking for them/all of the suggestions everyone else here is making but another thing you could do is continue cooking but just pretend you aren’t getting any feedback at all positive or negative and only make whatever you actually feel like making.

“Then just remain super polite and if they ask for something else just literally look at them confused for a second and then just move past it wordlessly like a Westworld robot who was shown a picture they are programmed to be unable to actually see.”

“If your parents try to have a more serious/direct discussion about why you aren’t doing what the whole family wants, just say yes to whatever they ask, remain polite, and then go back to doing whatever you want.”

“Dad obviously isn’t going to cook, and Mom would rather not go back to it, so if she sees her choices are to shut up and let you do whatever you want or try to force the issue and risk having to cook herself again, she will shut up.”

“The only way to ruin this is to get tricked into ‘disrespecting’ them by having an argument out loud.”

“Your Dad’s ego won’t let you win if you make it explicit like that.”

“Just respect them overtly, but quite obviously persist in doing whatever you please in the kitchen.”

“Feel free to disregard, of course, and proceed however you want, but I think you’d be surprised how much further negotiating via action will get you than by word in the power dynamic you find yourself in.” ~ ItchyDoggg

“Middle ground option – just cook what you want for yourself, but make enough for everyone.”

“If they don’t like it, tough.”

“They can alter it or season it or cook something else for themselves.”

“If they don’t eat it, you don’t need to cook again until you run out of your own leftovers.”

“The only hard part with this approach is very firmly not giving a s**t if they complain about it.”

“But they won’t have grounds to say you’re letting them go hungry since the food is there if they want it and it’s what you’re eating yourself.”

“You do meals, you don’t do requests, end of.” ~ Valarauka_

“Also, dealing with mad disrespect isn’t inherent in cooking for a family.”

“Sounds like your dad modeled that behavior for your siblings, and your mom was cool with it.”

“NTA, and yeah, you have the upper hand.”

“You could negotiate to cook again with certain boundaries and lose other chores.”

“You could make a schedule, make it clear you’re not deviating from it, and that if they don’t want what’s on it, then they can cook their own food, and any rudeness could result in a ban from your dinners.”

“That, or don’t cook for them again.”

“But good on you for learning this important life skill!” ~ echidnaberry87

“NTA. With your age, unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do here.”

“Once you have a part-time job, start buying your own groceries, and they can’t complain about it being a waste of food.”

“To some extent, people being ungrateful and complaining about food is a fact of life. I’d expect that from siblings and kids but not your parents.”

“They’re acting like children.”

“They should be encouraging you and supporting your hobby, but instead, they used you and treated you badly.” ~ evoactivity

“NTA, obviously.”

“When I was brought up, if I said I didn’t like something, I was told I had two choices: I could eat it, or I could leave it”

“If you decide to go back to cooking, this must be the rule from now on – BUT, you need to be cooking food your family will actually eat.”

“It would be an a**hole move to cook fish when nobody likes it.

“Let everybody pick the meal one day a week.”

“If anybody in the family has an issue with the meal, they take it up with the person who chose it.” ~ T-h-e-d-a

Well, OP, Reddit is with you. You don’t deserve this abuse.

Don’t let their behavior eat at you and steal your love of cooking.

It may be time for you to reach out to a school counselor or family member.

It sounds like everyone is interested in an update if you can give one.

Good luck.