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Mom Ejects Overly Critical MIL From Early Mother’s Day Celebration For ‘Zapping’ Daughter’s Joy

A littler girl holding a Mother's Day card behind her back.
Natalia Campbell of NC Photography/Getty Images

It’s very easy to judge people whose lifestyle is very different from our own.

However, when we are invited to be their guests, it is only polite to ignore our feelings in the moment, no matter how much we may fuming internally.

As when someone is treating us to anything, we should show appreciation, not disdain.

The daughter of Redditor Adventurous_Ant1546 expressed interest in going to a certain restaurant.

Upon doing more research, the original poster (OP) decided that this very place might be a fine spot for a celebration that would also include her mother and her mother-in-law (MIL).

While the OP’s daughter was having the time of her life, the OP’s MIL made no effort to hide her true feelings about the restaurant.

When her MIL ignored her requests to stop behaving in that manner, the OP felt there was only one solution.

Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for telling my MIL to please keep her criticisms to herself, and eventually for kicking her out of lunch?”

The OP shared how she chose to handle her MIL’s deliberate lack of joy at what should have been a joyous occasion.

“I (32 F[emale]) am a mom to a beautiful little girl (6 F), and she has been telling me all about a new cafe that her friend went to which serves ‘princess cakes’.”

“She says it is very fancy and people only go for special occasions when they can dress up.”

“I had a look online, and they specialize in high teas.”

“It looked lovely, and I knew it would make my daughter happy, so I booked a table.”

“Unfortunately for me, this place is brand new and very popular, so I while I initially wanted to book for Mother’s Day in a couple of weeks, I could only arrange a table for today.”

“I thought we could still do it as an early Mother’s Day celebration, so I also invited my mom (60 F) and my MIL (64 F).”

“My daughter was so excited, she wore her favorite dress and told everyone that she would be just like a princess.”

“It was lovely to share her joy.”

“My MIL on the other hand was not so thrilled.”

“Now it is important to note that while my MIL has a heart of gold, she is very salt of the earth and is quite frugal.”

“I genuinely don’t mean this as a criticism, it is just who she is.”

“Despite it being my treat, my MIL insisted that the whole thing was a waste of money, that the cakes were beyond ridiculous in their size, and it was all a bit pretentious.”

“She is obviously entitled to her opinion, but I could clearly see that her comments were sapping some of my daughter’s joy.”

“Even when my daughter said that this is what princesses eat (after a comment about how ridiculous it all looks), my MIL said that princesses would want a proper meal and not something that is fit only to feed birds.”

“Eventually I asked my MIL to accompany me to the bathroom, and I asked her to please keep her criticisms and negative comments to herself.”

“We were trying to have a nice day together, but more importantly, my daughter had really been looking forward to this and it was difficult for her to enjoy when someone is constantly acting negatively.”

“My MIL said that I was giving my daughter far too much credit, she wouldn’t understand half of the criticisms, and even if she did, it is important that she understands the value of money.”

“Eventually I asked her to please leave if she couldn’t let my daughter enjoy herself, which is what she did.”

“Now my MIL is telling the family that I cut her out of the Mother’s Day celebration because she was too frugal and wouldn’t pander to a child.”

“I know she is being ridiculous, but my husband is saying I could have just kept the peace for a couple of hours but I instead chose to act drastically.”

“He said the family being together is more important than whether someone feels a restaurant is overpriced.”

“Did I act drastically? Was I the AH?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for asking her mother to leave the special lunch with her daughter and mother.

Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s MIL more than merited her being asked to leave, as she seemed to effortfully try to dampen the mood at what was a special occasion, with many others concerned by the fact that her husband seemed to take his mother’s side and ignore her behavior.


“People who sh*t allover a young child’s joy are the ones being a**holes and deserve appropriate responses.”

“This was an appropriate response to a killjoy.”

“Would have been nice for your husband to be more supportive of you and his child as well.”-ReviewOk929

“NTA, but you’ve uncovered a serious husband problem.”

“Or MIL could more easily kept the peace for a couple of hours by just keeping her mouth shut.”

“Seeing your husband supporting his killjoy mother over his wife and his daughter exposes his ugly side and waves a red flag.”- extinct_diplodocus


“Your MIL tried to turn a beautiful day into an ugly day.”

“You stopped it.”

“Tell your husband that his daughter’s happiness is more important than keeping his mother around to criticize the entire dream and make her upset.”

“Is that what he thinks is important?”

“His mother can have her opinions but needs to learn that others have opinions too, and don’t want to hear constant criticism of yours.”

“I’m glad your daughter had her princess day, you did the right thing!”- Less_Ordinary_8516

“NTA and your husband is 100 PERCENT WRONG.”

“I hate this notion that ‘family being together is more important’.”

“NO it is not.”

“In this case, if someone is being rude throughout the meal you SHOULD get them to leave!”

“Why excuse their bad behavior?”

“If MIL was spewing racist comments throughout the meal no one would be saying ‘Oh, just keep the peace, it’s more important for family to be together’.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Not if you’re making everyone else uncomfortable.”

“Please show this to your husband.”- stroppo


“Your MIL tried to squash your daughter’s happiness for what?”

“Saving a few bucks?”

“If someone was raining on the parade, definitely ask them to leave.”

“It’s your version of an umbrella.”- Rawrsome_Mommy

“If a six year old needs to learn the value of money, MIL’s bad attitude isn’t the way to do it.”

‘As far as I see it, you didn’t cut MIL out of anything.”

“You gave her a choice: shut up and eat the meal YOU were paying for and stop crapping on your daughter’s enjoyment, or leave.”

“SHE made the choice to leave because she refused to STFU and felt she had a right to steal not only your daughter’s joy but yours as well.”

“He’s right.”

“Which is why he should blame MIL for choosing to leave rather than shutting up.”

“The separation was due to her actions.”

“‘Family being together’ is more important than MIL venting her spleen about a meal she was EATING FOR FREE.”

“This wasn’t about her being ‘frugal’.”

“Her wallet wasn’t the one being opened.”

“This was about her feeling the need kill the joy of both her granddaughter and DIL because the outing didn’t cater to her tastes.”

“She’s the one who chose to walk out and spoil the day even more than she already had, and now she’s spinning the story to make herself look like the victim.”

“I can’t believe your husband heard how much his daughter was hurt and is still choosing MIL’s side.”

“NTA.”- Fleurtheleast

“Does your husband like his daughter?”

“Does he want her to be happy?”

“Does your husband think happiness is free?”


“Keep her away from your daughter if she is gonna suck the fun out of things.”

“The world is hard enough a 6 year old does not need her GRANDMA being mean.”- Psychological-Ad7653


“What kind of cartoon villain sh*ts on a little girls princess tea party?”

“Like be real send this to her to let her know she’s f*cking ridiculous.”- Illustrious_Bird9234

Everyone, including the OP’s MIL, is entitled to their opinion.

That being said, why the OP’s MIL felt such a need to bring down the mood of something her granddaughter had been greatly looking forward to is curious, to say the least.

Equally worrisome was that the OP’s husband felt the need to tell her she should have been diplomatic, but apparently saw no problems with his mother’s behavior.

One hopes the OP discusses this with him, otherwise the chances of a similar situation happening again down the line is all but guaranteed.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.