Caring for an adult with special needs can be a trying experience. We feel that, morally, we’re not supposed to become impatient.
But as one recent post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated, that’s not always easy to control.
The Original Poster (OP), known as aitababysister on the site, shared the be all end all in the post’s title.
“AITA for refusing to babysit my sister”
OP began with an ultimatum she faced awhile back.
“When I [24-year-old female] graduated, my parents told me I either had to get a job and pay rent, babysit my sister [12-year-old female] and live at home rent free, or move out.”
She did what she had to do.
“I chose to babysit my sister but she is a nightmare to take care of.”
“She has autism and adhd and acts like a 5 year old. If you take your eyes off her for a second, she either runs away or breaks something and she always has to stay busy.”
“I’m allowed to see my friends when I watch my sister but I have to take her with me. I don’t like it but most of my friends think she’s adorable so it’s fine.”
But a recent event spelled trouble for OP.
“We had plans to go to the movies last week but my sister doesn’t do well at the movies so I gave her her iPad and told her to stay in her playroom and left.”
“She ended up running out and my neighbor got her inside and called my mom. She came home early to take care of my sister.”
“I turned my phone off so I didn’t know any of this was happening.”
OP didn’t know what she was walking into when she returned home.
“When I got home my mom started screaming at me for leaving my sister home alone. She wanted to kick me out but my dad wouldn’t let her.”
“Now I’m not allowed to watch her and my friend is her new nanny and they gave my car to her (they said that since it was in their name and they paid for everything, they can do whatever they want).”
“My mom is making me get a job and start paying for rent/utilities/food by the end of the month and won’t speak to me so I wanted to know if I was the a**hole”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A hefty majority of Redditors determined that OP was indeed the a**hole.
They were stunned they even had to provide feedback.
“YTA. On what planet is this a question?” — aching4herdaddy
“Of course YTA. What you did was severely negligent and I’d thank your father profusely for begging on your behalf. If something had happened to your sister it would have been 100% your fault.”
“In my opinion you didn’t have harsh enough consequences. You lost babysitting rights and a free car? She could have gotten lost, hurt or killed when she ran off.” — salukigreen
“YTA. You should have changed your plans, not LEFT YOUR SISTER ALONE. Wtf? Yeah, seems about right that you’re no longer allowed to babysit and now have to pay bills and get a job. You took advantage of the situation, these are the consequences.” — lihzee
“YTA in such a clear cut way. Don’t agree to it if you’re not going to do it. You’re 24, and the options they gave you are completely reasonable. They have a very good reason to be mad at you.”
“It’s also kind of embarrassing that they can trust your friend more than you here.” — pterodactylthundr
Many laid it all out to put things into perspective.
“YTA. the thing is, you didn’t refuse to babysit your sister. You agreed to. In exchange for free room and board and a car. You could have found a job and paid rent. But you chose to babysit. That’s your job.”
“But you endangered your sister. Because you wanted to go to the movies. I would like to not do my job and go to the movies. And I could. But first, I have to find coverage for my job and take my paid time off. I don’t just get to up and leave whenever I want. This is part of adulting. It sucks. But…c’est la vie.” — Aggravating_Echidna6
“YTA. You and your parents made a deal. You get to live somewhere rent free, food and utilities included, if you help out with your sister. You broke that deal.”
“Not only did you break that deal, you left your sister home alone when you broke that deal, when you were supposed to be responsible for her. What if she’d gotten hurt during that time? How would you feel?”
“You sound terribly spoiled and irresponsible, and you’re lucky that your mom is just making you pay rent, at this point.” — AliceInWeirdoland
“Honestly? It’s not even refusing. Your parents gave you a choice, get a job or babysit her. You chose to babysit her. You had every right to tell your parents youd rather find a job and not watch her.”
Instead you told them youd watch her, and left her alone when from the sounds of it she can’t be left alone because of how she functions. Your parents have EVERY right to be upset, because if anything had happened to her, it would be on you.”
You seem so caught up on just having fun with your friends that you forget that actions have consequences. And the consequences of what you did could have been so much more than “mommy and daddy took the car from me this is so unfair:(“…”
“bc if you use even a crumb of common sense youd realize she could’ve- hurt herself even without leaving the house, gotten run over, or even be taken by someone, all because YOU wanted to watch a movie instead of being responsible for your sister like you CHOSE to be. YTA a million times over.” — lyingnun
Without even Reddit to turn to for support, looks like OP is running out of places to find people to take her side.