Many people love their pets as much as they love their children.
As well they should, as pets require a lot of love and attention.
Indeed, some people would rather have pets than children, which is perfectly admirable, as their pets would want for nothing.
However, at the end of the day, pets are not children, and not everyone is so understanding of those who treat their pets like children.
The brother of Redditor otter-grain had a dog whom he loved more than anything.
So much so, he would bring it pretty much everywhere he went.
However, following an unfortunate incident, the original poster (OP) banned her brother from ever bringing his dog back to her home.
After being accused of being “dramatic” by her brother, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my brother he can’t bring his dog to my apartment anymore after one incident?”
The OP explained why her brother’s dog was no longer welcome in her home:
“I (29 F[emale]) live alone in a one-bedroom apartment, and I have two cats, Miso and Fig, both rescues, both pretty anxious by nature.”
“My brother Dan (34 M[ale]) has a Labrador named Biscuit who is genuinely a sweet dog, I want to be clear about that.”
“But he is large, he is loud, and he has a lot of energy.”
“Every time Dan has brought him over in the past, I’ve made it work by keeping the cats in the bedroom, which they hate, but it was manageable.”
“Two months ago, Dan asked if he could come over, and I said yes, assuming Biscuit wasn’t coming because we hadn’t talked about it.”
“He showed up with the dog. Before I could even get the cats into the bedroom, Biscuit had cornered Fig behind the couch and was barking directly at her face.”
“Fig has not been the same since.”
“She stopped eating normally for almost two weeks, she startled at everything, she hid constantly.”
“The vet said she was showing signs of stress, and we’ve been slowly getting her back to baseline.”
“I told Dan after that that Biscuit can’t come to my place anymore.”
“Not forever, I said, just until Fig is doing better, and even then we’d have to do a very slow and careful introduction.”
“He thinks I’m being dramatic and that ‘it was one bark’ and dogs and cats work these things out.”
“He’s annoyed with me and mentioned it to our parents, who are now involved, which I did not ask for.”
“My mom thinks I should ‘just get the cats used to dogs’ as if that’s a thing you can demand of an anxious rescue animal on a timeline.”
“AITA for holding this boundary even though it’s causing family drama?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for banning her brother from bringing her dog to her home.
Everyone agreed that not only was the OP more than valid in taking her cats into consideration, but also agreed the OP’s brother should not feel so entitled as to bring his dog everywhere he goes to begin with:
“NTA.”
“Why does he bring the dog every time anyway?”
“This is such a weird issue to have.”
“Your brother can kick rocks and your mom’s point has zero relevance.”
“Your cats have no reason to get used to dogs.”
“People shouldn’t randomly be bringing their dogs over.”
“Who the hell brings their dog to a one-bedroom apartment for a visit?”- DemonicSnow
“NTA.”
“Why do people feel so entitled to bring their pets with them to other people’s homes?”
“I get it, they are family, but the brother has no ground to stand on here.”
“OP, your home, so your rules.”
“You have handled it exactly as I personally would have, although I’ve never had anyone do such a selfish act.”- Ok-Practice838
“You are responsible for your cat.”
“Fig has literally no one else looking out for him.”
“NTA unless you give in to the brother’s pressure.”- feliniaCR
“NTA.”
“Why on earth does your brother think he gets to tell you what’s ok in your house, and also that dragging your parents into it is appropriate?”
“I’d ban his butt from my house too.”
“Let’s meet at the dog park, bro.”- SadderOlderWiser
“NTA.”
“It’s the cats’ house too; they deserve to feel safe and comfortable.”
“I don’t understand why some dog owners are so entitled about their dog’s behavior.”
“Your brother is for sure being an AH about this.”- small-black-cat-290
“NTA.”
“Um…you are both adults living on your own; why is your brother running to mommy?”
“And why is she weighing in?”- Kindly_Jellyfish_451
“NTA.”
“Your brother is not more entitled to comfort in your home than you are, and his dog is not more entitled to comfort in your cat’s home than your cat is.”
“Your home, your rules.”
“If your brother can’t leave his dog at home, you can meet elsewhere.”- peakerforlife
“NTA your brother is selfish and is a poor dog owner.”
“Dogs should be trained not to run up to and bark at other people and animals.”
“Your parents are also demonstrating clearly who their golden child is; sorry, it’s not you.”- OK_LK
“NTA, absolutely unhinged behavior to bring a large dog to a cat’s home with no warning.”
“It is simply not done.”- expanding_crystal
“NTA I am a dog lover, but how and why are we at a point as a society where people feel the need to bring their dogs positively everywhere?!?! “
“If your brother can’t be away from his dog, then you should go to his place to visit going forward.”
“As for your parents, unless they’re paying your rent, their opinion on your brother’s dog being in your apartment is irrelevant.”- Consistent-Leopard71
“NTA.”
“Why do people bring their pets with them everywhere?”
“The dog is disruptive to your home and your pets.”
“Biscuit can stay at home.”- DoobieDoo0718
“NTA.”
“Nobody should ever bring an animal to someone’s house without confirming without receiving confirmation that it is ok to bring the animal.”
“Showing up and expecting the animal to be let inside is ridiculous.”- jstar77
“Not just ‘until fig is doing better’ but until your brother learns he needs to communicate ASKING if his dog can come over and goes through training his dog to be less… nutty around cats.”
“Pretty simple stuff, really.”
“It’s not just that the cats need to get used to dogs; the dog has to be used to being around cats and not just zooming up and barking as much as possible in their faces.”
“This is coming from someone who’s had a cat in a dog filled household, we made sure they were introduced properly and without any forms of aggression.”
“NTA far from it.”
“Your brother is one for not asking beforehand and not taking the time to train his dog.”-DescriptionNo4833
“NTA, but the 34-yr-old who went crying to mommy and daddy sure is.”- onlyIcancallmethat
“NTA.”
“Completely your call, you get to decide what’s healthy for your pets just like you would for your kids.”
“Plenty of people would flat out refuse to have dogs come to visit inside the house where they have cats, you made efforts to accommodate and it didn’t work, so saying that Biscuit can’t come inside any more is both your absolute right and highly understandable.”- BanterPhobic
“NTA.”
“I don’t want anyone bringing their dogs to my house.”
“I don’t want dog mess all over the place, and the house is my cats’ territory, not some strange dogs’ territory, and they come first.”
“Leave your dog at home.”- maybe-an-ai
“Cats that get stressed can develop FIC/FLUTD, which can cause urinary blockages in males.”
“Also, even without that risk, any animal should be able to feel safe in their. Own. Freaking. Home.”
“Your brother is entitled.”
“NTA.”- Armadillo_of_doom
“NTA.”
“I truly do not understand people who believe they need to bring their dog with them EVERYWHERE.”
“Just because you love your dog doesn’t mean that they are welcome everywhere you go.”
“There is nothing wrong with telling Dan he needs to leave the dog at home when he visits you.”
“Or if he is unable to follow that rule, meet him at a coffee shop or restaurant for visits and just don’t have him over to your house.”- dragonsandvamps
It seems the OP’s brother has forgotten that, whenever he visits his sister, he is a guest and must abide by her rules. Something one would think the OP’s parents would have agreed with as well.
Perhaps the OP should consider how he would feel if another pet attacked his dog, and how eager he would be to welcome them back into his home…
The OP’s behavior might not seem so “dramatic” after that…