Some people are really good at picking the perfect gift.
Others don’t do well at all.
A student who thought her friends really missed the mark for her birthday present turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Affectionate_Ad2278 asked:
“WIBTA if I confronted my friends for buying me a Bible for my birthday?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I’m a 22-year-old female. Last year for my birthday, my friends bought me a Bible.”
“We’re all medical students at the same school. So my school friends. And we’re all African. A lot of Africans are super obsessed with religion, and I am the odd man out amongst them for sure.”
“I’m not really religious, but I’m also not opposed to learning about other people’s beliefs. Last year, I went to church twice with two friends because they were going before our brunch plans, and I didn’t mind tagging along.”
“After one of the services, my friend asked how I felt about the sermon, and I said it was good and interesting to hear.”
“A few months later, one of my friends asked if I’d be interested in doing a Bible study with them. I said sure, but was clear that it’s not really my belief… I just knew it was important to them, and I was open to participating. The Bible study was never scheduled.”
“Fast forward to my birthday (September 2025), my group of five friends bought me a single Bible as my birthday gift. I was extremely uncomfortable, but I’m bad with confrontation, so I awkwardly said thank you and set it aside. After that, they never brought it up again.”
“What’s bothering me now is that for everyone else’s birthday after mine, we’ve bought clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc… Gifts chosen based on their personal tastes!”
“Seeing that makes me question why it was okay for them to buy me a Bible, which doesn’t really align with my beliefs, as my birthday gift.”
“WIBTA if I brought this up now, or should I just let it go since it’s been so long?”
The OP later added:
“Also, I feel like I should mention that the first time I went with them, it was because we had brunch after and had had a sleepover the night before. The second time it was a memorial service. One of my friend’s moms passed away a few years ago.”
“The Bible study comment was kind of in passing as well. They were talking about it in front of me, and I kind of was just like, sure, maybe when y’all do one. Finally, all of this happened months before my birthday, so I hadn’t thought about any of this for a while.”
“I also want to add that outside of this, they have been really good friends. That’s honestly what made the experience so shocking and hard to confront.”
“They haven’t made any conversion attempts since this. I also continue to tell them that I’m not religious.”
“I didn’t grow up Christian, so I never really had strong opinions on it except that it isn’t my belief.”
“The reason why it’s bothering me now is that these same friends are the ones who are buying non-religious items as birthday gifts for others in the group. That’s what keeps bringing the issue to mind.”
“This past February, we got Crocs for one friend and a massage for the other. They both are devout Christians, so I would think a Bible would be better suited for them.”
“The worst part is that I have a Muslim background, so I literally thought, what if I bought them a Quran? That would so not be okay. Like the fact that 5 people decided to do that is still blowing my mind.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“The fact that I agreed to Bible study and went to church with them, and also the fact that I didn’t confront them since September 2025. I feel like I sent mixed signals and I waited too long to speak up.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more information needed
Redditors decided the OP would not be the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. ‘I’m bad with confrontation.’ Conflict avoidance is a losing life strategy. You are failing yourself.”
“And these friends…? They are lowkey trying to convert you. They are preying on your non-confrontational nature to get you into their faith (i.e., cult). It will be a lot of these little things that end up adding up, and you’ll be wondering how you found yourself waiting in line to be baptized. (yes, that’s hyperbole, but you get my point).”
“Personally, I would probably wait until that next birthday, and as gifts are being opened, ‘wow, look at all those nice things. Soooooo much better than a single Bible from everyone.’ No need for more.” ~ GreekAmericanDom
“I’m going to try to be fair here and see things from all sides.”
“I should be clear that I am aggressively agnostic and anti-organized religion. I detest having other people’s beliefs shoved down my throat, and I think it’s borderline criminal and, honestly, child abuse to indoctrinate young children.”
“That said, it SEEMS like OP opened the door to have their friends think that they may be open to investigating their beliefs further.”
“From what I read, it sounds like they were casually invited a few times to their religious gatherings, and OP willingly attended. Were I a religious person, I would see this as an individual possibly wanting to discover more about my beliefs.”
“All that to say that, given the information, it doesn’t seem like OP’s friends are being manipulative here, but instead may have misread OP’s cues.”
“My suggestion would be for OP to thank their friends, but remind them, with no room for interpretation, what their belief system (or lack thereof) is. IF after they make themself clear, this group continues to attempt to proselytize and convert, then and only then would I suggest that these people are not their friend and they should reconsider their relationship with them.” ~ French_Breakfast_200
“NTA. You can confront them, but I doubt they’d take it well.”
“I’d likely just take the opportunity to make them some paper roses for their birthdays. Out of the Bible.” ~ UngnomeCawler
“Assuming you guys are friends, you shouldn’t be scared to tell them about something they did that’s bothering you. Communication prevents misunderstandings and resentment.” ~ BrokenManSyndrome
“This is what I was thinking. I can see it from the friends’ perspective in that OP seemed to be coming on board to their religion, appreciating a church service, agreeing to bible study, etc., so they thought OP was interested and a bible would be a good gift to further her interest.”
“From the story, only once has OP told them vaguely that the religion is not for her.”
“I’m gonna go with NAH because there doesn’t seem to be any ill-will, just friends not communicating clearly and so a misunderstanding has occurred.” ~ Aethermist88
“Mixed signals…you said you would be open to Bible studies, so yes…they will try. NTA though.” ~ AntiquePop1417
“How is being open to a Bible study a message that she wants a cheap group gift? Unless someone explicitly asks for a religious book, it is never ever appropriate.” ~ Reasonable-Way-8431
“Maybe they thought you would want your own Bible to read through. You’ve gone to church with them and agreed to a Bible study.”
“Even if it’s not your thing religiously/spiritually, you seem to have shown a pretty strong interest in it and an openness to reading the Bible. They’re also excited to share something they care about with you, so they may have added to the idea that this was a good present.”
“I think it’s possible they actually thought you’d appreciate it. I would just accept it and only confront them if at the next gift-giving occasion they got you a rosary or something.”
“You should probably show a little less enthusiasm about Christianity. Next time you’re invited to church, don’t go.”
“You can be supportive and interested without actually participating in the religious traditions. Sounds like you’d give a sermon if they asked you.” ~ Loose-Zebra435
“NTA. But the ship has sailed. These friends think you need saving. Thus, a Bible as a gift.”
“It’s probably a bit late to bring it up, though.”
“For fun, you could (on each of their next birthdays) give them copies of other religious texts. They claimed to be broadening your knowledge, return the favor.”
“Qur’an, Torah, Book of Mormon, Bhagavad Gita, Tao Te Ching. If you really want to have some fun, toss in Dianetics from Scientology…” ~ subsailor1968
“I’m pretty anti-religion, but to be honest, I could see why they thought it might be a good gift. You going to church with them and saying you’d be down to go to Bible study are pretty good indicators that you’re open to being recruited.” ~ kai924507
“NTA. I’m not religious myself, but my mom or brother, who are both Christians and go to church, wouldn’t do this for my birthday present.”
“You need to make it clear to them that you’re not going to accept anything religious from them, and if they do, you’ll donate it or give it back to them.” ~ RaineMist
It shouldn’t be a problem for OP to tell her friends that she’s curious as to why they bought her a Bible.
They may have a good explanation, but she’ll never know unless she asks.