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New Dad Livid After His Brother-In-Law’s ‘Joke’ Causes Him To Miss The Birth Of His Son


Redditor Throw357765 is a 30-year-old husband who just became a father.

When an incident prevented him from being involved in the most crucial part of becoming a new dad, he caused some drama in the family.

As a result of this, he is not on good terms with his brother-in-law, Austin, who has been a good friend since college.

After being conflicted about a recent decision he made, the new dad visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for refusing to let my BIL [brother-in-law] see my son after causing me to miss his birth?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I got few close friends from college that I hang out with including my BIL (sister’s husband) Austin.”

“My wife and I are expecting our first baby and because this was our first we struggled with understanding things like whether my wife was going into labor or just dealing with pain/soreness.”

“We ended up in the hospital for nothing since she was due in July.”

“Therefore, I’ve limited my time out with the guys especially in the evening/nighttime. I’ve skipped meetings with them to stay home by my wife’s side ready for any emergencies.”

“My friends were upset they haven’t seen much of me in a while. I explained my situation but they gave me crap about it every time, especially Austin who kept pressuring me into going out for few beers saying he was in my shoes twice and has experience.”

“he said that XYZ signs (can’t say it here) mean my wife would soon be in labor and advised me to relax.”

“One night I caved into going to his farm since his birthday was days prior and I missed it cause my wife got sick. He wasn’t happy and whined about it.”

“My wife was with my in-laws and I wanted to call her but couldn’t find my phone, I put it on the counter but wasn’t there.”

“I borrowed one of their phones after an hour or so of search to call my wife and her sister picked up asking where I was.”

“I was in dismay when she said she was at the hospital with my wife cause her water broke and she went into labor.”

“I couldn’t explain I drove to the hospital asap but was met with my FIL berating me for ignoring his text and 18 missed calls.”

“I wasn’t allowed into the delivery room cause my wife screamed at me to stay out. I felt awful I waited outside while my in-laws berated me for my neglect even when I said I lost my phone.”

“(Chris) said Austin hid my phone after seeing FIL’s text to get back at me for missing his birthday. I blew up at Austin calling him aSOB for doing this.”

“He said Chris was a liar and swore he didn’t see any text or calls and he hid it as joke to scare me a bit. I left after this and haven’t seen him in days.”

“The guys got involved begging me to make things right with Austin who didn’t know, otherwise he would’ve told me so it was misunderstanding and my wife bears the blame for not letting me into the room but can I blame her?”

“I refused to see him. My sister said I should let uncle Austin see little Timmy cause he’s longing to meet him as family and even cried and said I was being unfair to him and all those years of friendship we had.”

“But I said no I won’t let him meet my son after this.”

“Chris said Austin bragged about it later on then Chris decided to tell me because he thought it was wrong that I get blamed by my in-laws.”

The OP followed up with some details.

“(1 none of my family said anything about not allowing Austin to see my son except my sister and my friends.”

“(2 Chris is one of the guys who were there that night. He and Austin aren’t very close and Austin thinks Chris hates him for no reason and doesn’t like having him around much but just for the group’s sake. Austin tries to keep the peace. In my opinion Chris is a decent guy.”

“(3 My in-laws are upset with me as well as my wife and say that even though Austin was at fault I too was for being reckless and irresponsible.”

Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to let Austin see the baby.

“OP you need to find friends that add to you and your family’s lives, not this selfish brat.”

“I would never forgive this guy. He would be dead to me forever. Hopefully your wife understands what he did to both of you and joins you in banning him.” – DottedUnicorn

“Is it really accurate to say he ‘missed’ the birth? It sounds to me like he was an hour or two late and his wife was so mad she kicked him out when he got there while she was still in labor.”

“[Edit: he wasn’t present, but he didn’t miss it in the sense of getting to the hospital too late, the way I read it.]”

“If that’s how it happened, it adds an extra layer of mess to this situation.”

“OP is NTA, Austin is 100% the AH, and wife may have made a bad choice in the heat of the moment.”

“I feel bad for OP that he was trying so hard to be there for his wife and then Austin felt that celebrating the anniversary of his own birth was more important than letting OP celebrate his child’s actual birth.” – EinsTwo

“I’ve never given birth so I don’t know 100%, but my takeaway is (just to add to the level of assholery of Austin + Sister + Anyone who think he should be forgiven):”

“Wife was not only going into labor, she was also trying to reach her husband and he had 18 missed calls. So, it’s safe to assume she was also worried that he was dead in a ditch or something. You know, something fun to be thinking about when you’re in labor.”

“Austin refuses to accept his fault and apologize, and he keeps minimizing the impact his dumbness (I’d use another word but I’m sure I’d get banned) had on OP’s life in what is arguably the most important moment this far, as well as OP’s wife emotional state and what should’ve been a nice moment, turning it into something arguably more upsetting.”

“So, yes, Austin and anyone who stands by him and insists he be forgiven is TA.” – JessicaJones2

“NTA- he deliberately hid your phone so you missed your childs birth . that is the type of person you don’t want around your child.” – HotAge5962

“NTA. While you dropped the ball by not having your phone on you, your BIL is ultimately the a**hole for deliberately hiding it knowing that your wife was so close to giving birth – regardless of whether he saw any messages from your FIL.”

“He sounds like an immature idiot and I wouldn’t want to be seeing him for some time after this either.”

“Also, your friends suck. If they’re going to give you sh*t about the fact you cannot go out with them as much as you used to because of your responsibilities, then they’re not worth keeping.” – ImStealingTheTowels

Overall, Redditors sided with the OP, and they suggested he should reconsider his friendships based on their reaction to the situation.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo