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Redditor Hilariously Blasts ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ To Drown Out Sound Of Neighbors Loudly Having Sex

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Living in an apartment comes with a lot of uncomfortable run ins with neighbors. You can hear when they flush the toilet, see them getting their mail wearing pjs and doing laundry in the most unflattering outfits.

But, there has to be a line. And, listening to your neighbors having sex should be that line.

Redditor baozigirl encountered this very issue with their neighbors. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.

They asked:

“AITA for blasting cotton eye joe whenever I hear upstairs neighbors doing it?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“This whole situation is ridiculous.”

“I live in the 2nd floor of a 3 story building. Downstairs is super quiet and good neighbors.
However, upstairs has noise issues that only we experience as the middle floor.”

“The room above mine is super noisy, especially when the resident’s girlfriend comes over. My other housemate has heard them getting it on at all hours of the day and we’ve texted them asking them to try to be more considerate of their noise levels. They agreed, but haven’t toned it down.”

OP doesn’t know how to get their neighbor’s attention.

“The last two times I’ve heard loud moaning coming from upstairs, I grabbed my portable speaker, held it up to the ceiling and blasted ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ until I couldn’t hear them anymore.”

“It’s the least sexy song I could think of, lol.”

“I thought this was a reasonable way to tell them we can hear them downstairs without actually telling them through text, since texting hasn’t made a difference. However, my other housemate is worried it comes off as rude and equally inconsiderate, or that it looks like we’re trying to listen in.”

“I know this is immature, but I don’t know how else to get them to stop (being so over the top loud).”

“AITA if I keep doing this? I only do it when I hear them and not longer than a few minutes at a time.”

Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.

“NTA but be thoughtful and switch it up sometimes. Throw in some Baby Shark and Wii music with uncomfortably long pauses.”

“Edit: drop your song recs below so OP can start a playlist!” ~ jillessa

“LOL, baby shark. Anything to make the moaning stop.” ~ baozigirl

“I have a whole playlist I can share I use to wake campers up outside the library if you want. ‘All I Eat Is Pizza’ by Koo Koo Kanga Roo will haunt your dreams.”

“Edit: Oh, but I think that’s just the way of being in apartments. You hit the ceiling with a broomstick and hope for the best, but if they’re having a good time it might get loud. Play music you enjoy instead and have a good time yourself!”

“NAH” ~ Longjumping-Age-7797

“Music is the wrong way to go. A podcast about war crimes would have more effect.” ~ indignant-loris

“David Attenborough’s voice is quite pleasant though. That might be less of a mood killer than I’d care to admit. Although, TBH, it’s so soothing that I’ve thrown on his documentaries to prepare for bed.” ~ Dr_who_fan94

“NTA. Not bad. I used to play the Monster Mash when my old neighbor was having loud sex. Again, for the same reason that it seemed most likely to kill their mood.” ~ NachoDelFuego

It is a hilarious response.

“Dude. You’re gonna Pavlov that guy into getting a boner every time he hears Cotton Eye Joe!”

“NTA but you are goddamn funny!” ~ Pissedliberalgranny

“NTA. If they’re being that loud do what you have to do.” ~ -Fembot40K-

“Lmao. I feel like a dick still. I am taking suggestions for how else to tackle this.” ~ baozigirl

“Immature yes, but NTA. Everyone is living in the same house, and people generally don’t want to hear their neighbors bumping uglies. Anyway… they should either play music or deaden the room through rugs on the floor, blankets over walls/windows, and/or playing white noise.”

“I live with 4 other people and I sing metal(my vocals can scare some people), so I’m actually in the process of sound proofing a room and I find times to practice when most others are not home.” ~ Bright_Quality_2833

“NAH – all just a part of apartment living. They should be able to have sex at home. You’ve already informed them politely they are being too loud.”

“Are both of you adhering to the floor cover / carpet rules? Because that can really help with sound transfer.” ~ LightningLilac

“It sounds more like one or both of them is really loud. It’s not just bumping around it’s ‘loud moaning’ and if they don’t hear their normal conversation this means it’s above conversational volume. So really loud.”

“It’s ‘at all hours’ too, which is an issue. Be considerate of other people’s sleep schedules. If you live in an apartment with thinner walls/floors don’t yell in the middle of the night. Even if you’re having a good time. (Whether that’s a party or sex or whatever.) Especially on weeknights.”

“Look, they could keep it down to conversational volume and not yell at odd hours and wake people, they just don’t care to. And they aren’t even trying anything to make it less awkward, like putting on their own music or background noise.” ~ TheHatOnTheCat

OP added some edits.

“Edit: LOL, you guys are hilarious. I said I was taking suggestions on how to handle this, you guys gave me song suggestions HAHA. Both are appreciated.”

“Edit: some people seem to think it’s a normal amount of living noise I have a problem with. Nah, I’m not trying to be unreasonable. We don’t hear any other noise from them that would come from normal ‘loud’ living, like using the kitchen or vacuuming or talking/laughing loudly.”

“The only noise we hear is loud boning and if they throw a rager (rare, happened only like 3 times this year).”

“I don’t know how to describe it other than ‘piercing.’ My current stance is: if they can be loud, so can I! Next up: baby shark. Or yell ‘she’s faking it!'”

“Edit: Current plan of action after reading comments is to be nice instead and just lightly suggest to 3rd floor to throw some music on next time we hear it. (No baby shark for now.)”

“Seems like a solution that deals with the possibility it’s an older building issue and to also let them know (again) they can be heard. Thanks for the input! And thanks for the music suggestions! You guys crack me up.”

OP’s solution was incredibly creative.