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Redditor Concerned After Boyfriend Lies To The Dentist About Having Already Paid His Bill

A man has dental work done on his mouth
Michael Edwards/Getty Images

Everybody loves a good deal.

Any way we can save money is a good thing.

But there are situations where money is saved, but the ethics surrounding how can be somewhat questionable… and sometimes criminal.

Case in point…

Redditor carboncopy404 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s a bad person?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So recently my boyfriend got some dental trays for his teeth done (molds of your teeth), which can be used to put product in to whiten your teeth.”

“He’s done this before but lost his last set of trays, so he went somewhere new to get some new trays done.”

“My boyfriend told me that when going to pick up his dental trays, the receptionist just gave him the trays without asking for payment for them.”

“He then took the trays and left knowing he had not paid for them.”

“The receptionist called shortly after he left and explained that a mistake was made and could he please either come back and pay for the trays or pay over the phone.”

“My boyfriend lied saying he was adamant he had already paid before picking the trays up.”

“And it wasn’t his fault that they had no record of him paying/that he didn’t keep his receipt to prove it to them.”

“He was pretty vocal to me about not wanting to pay for the dental trays if he didn’t have to, and that it was the receptionist’s mistake and on her.”

“What sparked our argument about this was a car journey where he answered the phone to the manager of the dental practice, who was following up the call with the receptionist.”

“My boyfriend continued with his lie that he had already paid and it was not his problem that they could not provide proof of this.”

“Now, something about witnessing him lie so easily to this man really bothered me.”

“And it bothered me that he didn’t care if the receptionist may get into serious trouble or even lose her job over this mistake.”

“Or that he wasn’t losing out by paying as he would’ve paid for the product in normal circumstances.”

“After the call (which didn’t reach any resolution) I told him that was very uncomfortable for me to hear and witness.”

“And he’s a bad person for lying like that when he knows full well it was likely an honest mistake by the receptionist, and he got a product he didn’t pay for.”

“My boyfriend’s now giving me the silent treatment and seems really hurt that I called him a bad person.”

“He says most people would avoid paying for something if they didn’t have to.”

“AITA? Should I apologize?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“I agree, this is a big red flag.”

“I’m not saying that you will have the same experience as me based off of one story, but I’ve dated two men with similar lying habits.”

“The first was just an attention seeker, and his lies became increasingly more absurd.”

“Harmless but embarrassing.”

“The second, I was uncomfortable because he often lied to get discounts/free items.”

“I made myself overlook it because he was struggling financially due to health issues.”

“He went on to be very abusive to me.”

“His lying was a symptom of his inability to accept not getting his way.”

“When lying didn’t work, it changed to yelling, guilting, and anything else short of physical violence until he got what he wanted.” ~ EllaBoDeep

“You’re right. I’ve been there too.”

“An ex laughed about his high school habit of stealing fresh flowers from cemeteries to give his then-girlfriend.”

“His iron bed frame was stolen from the front porch of a local antique store.”

“While with me he tried to steal a rug worth a few hundred dollars from a store, but the cashier caught him.”

“He was manipulative, coercive, and abusive in our relationship which, I guess I should have seen coming.”

“One of the last things he said to me in person as we navigated our breakup was ‘Have I ever lied to you?'”

“I certainly felt he had but had never caught him outright in a lie.”

“He was pretty smug about it.”

“Well, after the breakup, he continued to steal from me for a year and a half via online accounts I thought were closed.”

“The takeaway being that he was always a liar and a thief, he just didn’t care as much about covering his tracks after we were done and he wasn’t accountable to me in any way.”

“OP is NTA and should run if this event is part of a larger pattern.” ~ LuckyBlackPearl

“If the practice ends up suing him for payment, he’ll need to be able to provide proof of payment. The dental practice could have cameras… (I’m not a lawyer; this isn’t legal advice).”

“Your boyfriend’s not just a bad person, he’s… kind of stupid.”

“And the fact that he lies about something like that… and is just cool lying like that? NTA.” ~ krazy-krysy

“NTA in the least.”

“Huge red flag here; what your boyfriend did is outright stealing.”

“He is also stupid. “

This is the 21st century; the dentist knows he didn’t pay and the police will know that too when the dentist presses charges.”  ~ zwergschnauzer

OP came back…

“Thank you. It’s good to see most people wouldn’t do this.”

“This isn’t the first red flag of this nature, but this one really stuck out to me.”

“I’m going to seriously reconsider our future (we had plans to travel, get engaged, etc) as it’s clear our core values don’t match.”

“And I’m almost certain he could just as easily lie in this manner to me.”

Reddit continued…

“My ex was like this, it also made me uncomfortable in the early days.”

“He turned out to be a horrible person, a narcissist, who manipulated every situation to his benefit.”

“The silent treatment you’re getting now is also a classic tactic.”

“He’s punishing you for what he considers unacceptable behavior – calling him out on his wrong doing.”

“This is to manipulate you into not doing that again.”

“Healthy people don’t habitually lie for personal gain and communicate rather than indulge in passive-aggressive bull**it. NTA.”  ~ StealthandCunning

“NTA And I agree, major red flag!!”

“I used to work for a man who constantly lied to avoid paying for things (even though he was more than able to; it was like a game or challenge for him, I think).”

“Sadly, as his employee, I was an unwilling accomplice… he had me send letters to American Express disputing charges that I *knew* he was responsible for.”

“I’d seen the merchandise in question.”

“He switched the tires on his lease vehicle with those of an older car he had at home before returning it, ‘little’ things like these that all added up.”

“I didn’t get involved much with his home life, but the times I did interact with his wife, she seemed to be frightened of him.”

“I had to phone him at home one evening with a business ’emergency;’ she answered the phone and was oh so hesitant to wake him from his nap.”

“She kept asking me if it was that urgent.”

“And I explained very bluntly that I know how he is about money and I need to get X paperwork out of his office… which was always locked when he was away.”

“Otherwise the company would be charged $150 for a ‘no-load’ and our shipment would be delayed a day.”

“I heard him yelling at her in the background when she did disturb him, but when I explained the situation he told me that I was right to phone him.”  ~ Ouisch

“NTA. He’s doing to the OP what he did to the receptionist. Massive red flags.”  ~ Flatline2962

“He’s not really going to get away with this.”

“They most likely will keep sending him the bill for it and then send him to collections which could end up seriously damaging his credit.”

“Just rude to create that much more work for the company when he knows he is lying and never paid.”

“OP – NTA but your boyfriend doesn’t seem too bright/had way too easy of a time lying, I would run.” ~ AdmirablePineapple

“NTA. You called him a bad person because he is.”

“Dental equipment is expensive.”

“So that dental tray was in the hundreds if not in the thousands.”

“He lied and knows that the receptionist could be fired over his lie and doesn’t care.”

“This sets up a disturbing pattern.”

“Dump him as fast as you can.” ~ jhercules

“NTA. Dishonesty isn’t a good trait.”

“The receptionist might lose her job because of this.”

“And the fact that he thinks he’s the victim makes him an extra bad person.”

“I would call the office and let them know this.”

‘I would then dump him (or before calling).”

“You can do better.”  ~ alongstrangesomethin

“NTA. But he’s still your boyfriend?”

“One day, when you catch him lying to you, maybe about something important, remember this.”

“You had a choice.” ~ horsendogguy

Well OP, Reddit sounds with you on this one.

If you’re not comfortable with the situation, you’re entitled to feel that way.

You have to follow your ethics and instincts.

Good luck.