Everyone’s journey through life looks different, from who they date to whether or not they’ll have kids to how they performed in school.
None of those decisions should be laughable, because they made the person who they are, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But Redditor TemporaryTree8673’s boyfriend didn’t seem to look at it that way, as he often mocked them for not graduating high school.
When they finally heard enough of it, the Original Poster (OP) decided to call him out on it.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for rubbing it in my boyfriend’s face how much I make in front of our friends?”
The OP and their boyfriend had different backgrounds.
“We’ve been together for 2 years, living together for 1.”
“When we were on our first date, he asked if I pursued higher education after high school, which I didn’t.”
“I explained that I failed high school and he couldn’t believe it. He was a high achiever and couldn’t possibly understand how somebody could fail high school.”
The OP noted that their boyfriend occasionally brought their past up.
“He finds it amusing to tease me about it and truthfully it doesn’t bother me.”
“I have a good job and I’ve done great things despite not having a traditional education.”
“At the very worst it’s a little annoying, but I refuse to lose sleep over it.”
But the OP had heard enough when it came time for a get-together with friends.
“Tonight we had friends over and the conversation turned towards high school and what subjects we did.”
“I listed off what I studied in my final year and he began to laugh, saying that it didn’t matter because I failed anyway.”
“Then since he’d had too much to drink, he took it a little far and started poking fun at how only idiots fail high school.”
“I tried to play it off but the alcohol got the better of me as well and I snapped, responding, ‘That’s why I earn $48 per hour and you earn $26, right? Because you did so well in high school and that set you up for success?'”
“He and one of his friends said that I’d ruined the night, but a couple of my friends said he had it coming.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP had finally seen their boyfriend’s true personality.
“He has been jealous and resentful of your success this entire time. The booze made him let it slip how he really feels. DUMP HIS A**. NTA.” – jennyfromtheeblock
“I’m a person that really believes that alcohol brings out the true nature of personalities in people and yeah… clearly she has now seen his and knows how he really feels about it.”
“NTA. It is not the end of the world to not complete high school, and the boyfriend needs to jump off that high horse.”
“Clearly, you’ve done well anyhow, OP, so who the f**k cares! I don’t personally see this man as worth it, so I wouldn’t blame you for dumping him, either.” – BlazingApp965
“I know people who’ve gone to college and never even entered into the field they studied for and ended up getting a regular 9-5 job. And I also know people who’ve dropped out of high school or never went to college and are VERY successful.”
“NTA. OP, your boyfriend is a major AH. He sounds jealous of your success. I’d rethink that relationship.” – RedVixenCW
“In my culture, there is a proverb that roughly translates as:”
“‘You can really know a person based on their behavior ‘in their pocket’ (how they deal with money matters), ‘in their cup’ (when they have been drinking/are drunk), and ‘in their temper’ (how they act when they are angry).'”
“This is the best relationship barometer (both romantic and friendship) that I have ever come across.” – Wearealareadyhere
“He likes you because he feels superior to you. He thinks you’re less than him, so it p**sed him off when you pointed out his reasonings for that don’t matter and that you have better reasonings.”
“(Since I’m sure most would agree, people would rather make more money than to have done well in high school.)” – No-Knowledge8325
Others said that a good partner never should have made fun of the OP’s situation.
“My wife did not finish high school due to health reasons. She is one of the smartest people I know.”
“I have a Master’s degree but have never at any point thought less of her and why should I?”
“Someone that believes an education makes them better or smarter than someone else shows just how much they haven’t learned.” – Bayou_Blue
“When contempt enters a relationship, no matter how small, it erodes like a sinkhole – underground, unseen, even if you do catch a glimpse or question the person having contempt for you, they will absolutely never own it upfront or in the early stages.”
“Myself for 23 years. I pointed out what would create opportunities for contempt and power struggle items, and he said that wasn’t a problem… Guess how it ended?”
“If there’s contempt this early, and alcohol factors in not as an acceptable excuse for why he took that swing rather as a magnifying glass, you can’t get back to ‘no contempt.'”
“By your own description, he knew this about you starting with your first date.”
“In his relationship brain, having some sort of superiority over you is a thing he cultivates, from the beginning.”
“Why on earth proceed w a relationship with someone who doesn’t arrive 1000% excited about every positive thing about you?”
“We spend A LOT of time living in a relationship with the best version of our partners that we choose to see. What if he never becomes that person?”
“You are superior, and he will find tiny and gigantic ways to make you ‘pay’ for it.”
“People who love and value us cheerlead us to others. They don’t wait like a spider to trap you in a web of disdain in front of other people.” – No_Appointment_7232
“Alcohol is a powerful truth serum for AHs like this. I can’t stand insecure men who can’t handle the fact that their wife makes a good living financially and is a high earner.”
“My wife is a high-income earner and I’ve never felt threatened or insecure about it. Quite the opposite in fact. I love having such a smart, successful, well-respected, independent, and beautiful woman like that as a wife.”
“She loves the fact that I’m not threatened by her income or job because her first husband very much was.”
“She’s told me how grateful she is that she decided to go to her daughter’s PTA meeting many years ago where we first met because it was also hard for her to date men because so many men would be threatened or insecure by her and then end up resenting her.” – ndngroomer
“NTA, 100% this OP. My husband went to an expensive college while I only ever got my GED.”
“He has never once in the 7yrs of marriage or while dating made a negative comment about my lack of education.”
“Your partner shouldn’t ever degrade you. You should definitely find someone that values you.” – the_fudge_you-say
“I graduated from an adult high school myself so I could graduate 6 months early. The county I lived in had a higher credit requirement than the rest of the state so I drove a county over to an adult high school to get my last 2 required classes and then held down a nearly full-time job on top of that (I was 17) to help my parents pay the bills.”
“22 years later I’ve bought and sold a home, gotten an associate’s degree (at 22), and earned a professional certification that helped me to earn over 100K annually for over 10 years, and am finally about to finish my bachelor’s degree at 39.”
“Traditional educational and career paths aren’t the only way to be successful and anyone who implies that you are ‘less than’ for taking a different route can suck it.” – jaelythe4781
“I don’t know who said this (it might be misattributed to Einstein but I’m too lazy to check right now) but ‘If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’s going to spend its life thinking it’s stupid.'”
“OP is clearly a fish in a tree-climbing world but has found her niche. The self-esteem issue likely manifests in staying with anyone who doesn’t respect that intelligence and success are not measured by a single metric.”
“Set your standards sky high, OP. You deserve it.” – your_average_plebian
While the OP felt conflicted because of the friends’ reaction to their lashing out at their boyfriend, the subReddit insisted they were right to speak up.
Not only did they have nothing to be ashamed of by not graduating from high school and going on to earn a high-income job, but the boyfriend’s behavior was incredibly telling and deserved to be called out for being so petty.