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Groom ‘Disappointed’ After Bride Breaks His Family Tradition By Wearing White Dress To Wedding

A bride stand before several dresses to choose from
Peter Cade/GettyImages

Choosing a wedding dress is an intimate experience.

People go through hundreds of options to find that perfect gown that clinches the specialness of the day.

But every now and again, the dress choice can stir up trouble.

So many opinions for one person’s choice.

Case in point…

Redditor CrackSnapYo wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for wearing white to my wedding?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I recently got married to the love of my life, J.”

“We had a perfect wedding, except for one thing, my M[other] I[n] L[aw]’s freakout when she saw my dress.”

“When we had gone dress shopping, I invited her and I found my perfect dress.”

“My husband’s family has a tradition of always wearing blush dresses on their wedding day.”

“They told me about this before, and I respectfully said I would wear whatever color dress my perfect dress was.”

“Once I finally found it, it was white.”

“MIL asked me to ask if they could alter it to make it blush, or to find a new dress if they couldn’t.”

“I said I would ask, but if they couldn’t then that was that.”

“Long story short, they couldn’t and I showed up to my wedding in a white dress.”

“All through the ceremony MIL was seething.”

“During the reception, she pulled me aside and asked why my dress was white.”

“I told her that I didn’t want to find a new dress and they couldn’t alter it.”

“She said it was a tradition, and she was disappointed that I had broke it.”

“J also said that he was disappointed when I walked down the aisle in a white dress.”

 “I could have just changed my dress.”

“Was I the a**hole for this?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“The only thing that comes to my mind that would almost make this make sense is if his family or members of his family are from a different culture.”

“I know there are some cultures where it’s considered bad luck to wear white on your wedding day (it’s a color for funerals I think if memory serves me).”

“I think red is a more commonly traditional wedding color there and if that’s the case maybe blush was the compromise.”

“If that’s the case I can kinda see why it would mean so much to them.”

“However even if that’s the case NTA- your wedding dress is ultimately your choice and yours alone.”

“Although I gotta admit if it’s a culture thing as opposed to just a random personal preference/family thing than I’d of probably tried a lot harder to make it work somehow just to show that I understand and respect my spouses heritage.”

“That being said still NTA.”  ~ acegirl1985

“If I walk down the aisle and find out my fiancée is ‘disappointed’ I’m holding another big ceremony, walking down the aisle in the exact dress he wants.”

“And then let him find out it’s an annulment ceremony instead.” ~ Lovingbutdifferent

“I mean… the fact that J didn’t tell his mom to butt out the minute she started telling his fiancee what to wear on her wedding day is such a red flag.”

“This feels like it’s going to turn into, and the moment he told me he was disappointed was the moment I started thinking about an annulment. Cause phew.” ~ kat_192

“Quick! There’s still a chance to annul!”

“Seriously though, he might be the love of your life, but a comment like that from him about your perfect wedding dress seems really inconsiderate and petty. NTA.”  ~ Shavasara

“I agree. OP, I’ve been married over 20 years.”

“I’ve seen a lot.”

“Your mother in law is going to ruin you.”

“She is over bearing and thinks it’s her way or the highway and she willingly and happily ruins important moments to regain control.”

“Your husband not only permits her to but he happily partakes.”

“Please think long and hard about whether this is how you want to live your life.”

“Their traditions do not trump your feelings and certainly do not give them a pass to treat you like trash.”  ~ Avoidingthecrap

“I’ve only been married close to 9 years.”

“OP my MIL is awful.”

“I wish I had walked away before my kids.”

“I love my husband and wish we could delete his mother out of our lives.”

“Walk away OP.”

“It’s bloody miserable when you have a mil like this.” ~ ProfessionalSir9978

“Right?! Who’s first thought at seeing their bride walking down the aisle is ‘crap she didn’t wear the color my mommy wants!’”

“Sorry OP but this does not say anything good about your new marriage.”

“Good luck and I really hope this was a one off slip and not a sign of things to come.”

“It was your wedding dress.”

“Everything else in the wedding may be about the couple but the dress is 100% the brides choice.”

“NTA- your MIL had no right to make demands and even if there’s a really deep, really strong, really beautiful meaning behind the tradition (which I’m guessing they think there is) what you wear is ultimately your decision.”   ~ acegirl1985

“So freaking bizarre lol.”

“My b[oy]f[riend]’s family has a few generations of the first kid being name after the grandfather.”

“My bf’s brother has a kid named after his wife’s grandfather and not my F[ather] I[n] L[aw].”

“Apparently FIL has been furious about it for years.”

“Like grow the hell up.”

“And my bf suggested we use his middle name for our own future kid because his dad wants it.”

“I don’t give a f**k what your dad wants.”

“It’s my hypothetical future kid and family.”

“Your family traditions have nothing to do with me.”

“If I don’t want to join, I don’t have too.”

“How bizarre to claw someone else in to your tradition and be mad when they do what they want on their day.”

“OP’s husband’s family’s tradition of blush dresses is not an obligation for OP.”  ~ basilobs

“This. The MIL is controlling, but well they often are if the internet and old jokes are to be believed.”

“But this? The spouse being on team mommy dearest when she’s trying to micromanage his partner and attempts a huge power move at the wedding?”

“That is always the real, actual problem and this just made me sad for the OP. NTA.” ~ LadyKlepsydra

“I don’t think OP is the AH, but I don’t think Husband is the AH either.”

“The family has a tradition, they let her know it was important to them, and she didn’t participate in it.”

“That’s fine, she should wear what she wants to wear at the wedding.”

“But I think she should have warned them that she was not going to follow the tradition and not because she didn’t want to be a part of their traditions necessarily.”

“Maybe they could have discovered a compromise, like a blush veil or shoes, maybe blush in the jewelry.”

“Again, as we see so many times on this sub, some straightforward communication could have helped.”  ~ accioqueso

“NTA. But be wary of a man who says he was disappointed about your dress color as you walked down the aisle to marry him.”

“The only appropriate feeling when you are about to marry the love of your life is joy and excitement.”

“If the color of your dress can distract your groom as he sees you walking down the aisle, then his priorities are all wrong.”

“You’re his wife and he should be supporting you here, not his overbearing mother.” ~ joanclaytonesq

“NTA but MIL is.”

“Good luck with this MIL in the future.”

“Thinking she’ll be a handful.”

“It was MIL’s tradition.”

“It was not your tradition.”

“It was not MIL’s wedding. It was yours.”

“It was not MIL’s wedding dress. It was yours.”

“Disappointed that your husband was upset about the color of the dress rather than being thrilled to be marrying you.”

“Hope that’s not an omen.”  ~ Ducky818

“NTA. If anything, your husband is the biggest a**hole here.”

“He will never, never stick up for you.”

“He will always be on his mother’s side.”

“Do not try to reason with him, because whatever his mommy says goes. Run.” ~ lajimolala27

“NTA. What are these people on?!”

“It’s a minor family tradition that’s not even your family tradition.”

“I’m glad you had a dress you loved and felt beautiful in.”

“I’m sorry that your husband felt it was appropriate to spoil your memories by saying he was disappointed to see you at the end of the aisle.”

“I know that’s not quite what he said but that’s how it would come across to me.”

“He needs to decide if he loves you more than he wants to keep his mum happy.”  ~ Agreeable_Space2759

“NTA… get that marriage annulled.”

“Your new husband was really disappointed when he saw you?”

“That’s pathetic of him.” ~ Pro_Gamer_Queen21

“NTA. Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.”

“You should never have to follow it, and it’s YOUR wedding.”

“They have no say.”

“F**k peer pressure, ESPECIALLY from dead people.”

“If it’s THAT important to them, they could have bought your dress lol.” ~ witchyfreunde

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

It was your wedding, your day, your dress.

It sounds like some uncomfortable conversations are on the horizon.

Good luck.