A party is only as good as the food being served.
Of course, there is no bigger party for some then a wedding.
It stands to reason, then, that the biggest party would have the biggest menu.
Right?
So what happens when a party, in this case a wedding, serves some lackluster food and a guest has to take matters into their own hands?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) pizzaweddingthrow when he came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some outside opinions.
He asked:
“AITA for ordering pizza at a vegetarian wedding?”
He began with the background.
“I(36 male) was a groomsman for my friend Sara’s (34 Female) wedding this past week.”
“I’m only acquaintances with the groom but because I’ve known Sara for nearly 20 years she wanted me in the party.”
“I’m on medication for anxiety and depression that has to be taken at a certain time of the day and also requires food, so I asked Sara what time the food would be served.”
“Now this is a vegetarian wedding, I’m not vegetarian but I have no problem not eating meat for a meal especially when it comes to supporting my friend.”
“The only issue I had was when I found out the size of the meals.”
“The entire course consisted of a side salad, a side of corn, and a side of broccoli..”
“If this were only for a few hours that wouldn’t be a problem.”
“But because the wedding party has to arrive before everyone, between the ceremony and shuffling to the reception the whole event was going to be over 8 hours and I knew there was no way a small salad and a few tablespoons of corn and broccoli were going to hold me over.”
“(I’m 6’2 185lbs fwiw).”
“When Sara told me what they were serving I said something like, ‘Oh will there be another entre?’ and she immediately got defensive so I hushed myself before causing any further tensions.”
“Normally I would have been straightforward about all this, but I could see she was already stressed and I didn’t want to add to it.”
“So I decided during the reception dinner that I was going to covertly order a pizza, meet the guy outside, and just sneak in and out here and there to grab a few slices from my car.”
“I told my friend this and of course word got around to some of the other party members.”
“Turns out I wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable going so many hours with little food, so by the time I placed the order there were about 12 other people(all from the wedding party) throwing down.”
“I ordered 4 larges and kept them in my car so people could just kind of come and go and grab some whenever they were hungry. Nobody really seemed to notice anything until Sara couldn’t find the groom anywhere.”
Everythign was fine, until…
“She had her mom help her find him and as you can guess she found him out by my car eating pizza..”
“Well to say she blew up was an understatement.”
“She said I embarrassed her, made her feel cheap, said I only did this because it was a vegetarian wedding(3 of the pizzas had meat on them).”
“I tried to apologize explaining the situation, but she was having none of it.”
“The other party members that were eating the pizza were all silent, I was thrown to the wolves.”
“She told me to leave while her mom stared daggers at me.”
“It’s been 4 days and she hasn’t responded to me.”
“Her husband did reach out to apologize for all the ‘confusion’ but the majority of her friends(even some who ate the pizza) are telling me I’m an AH and what I did is unforgivable as she’ll always remember her wedding as ‘not being good enough’ because of my ‘stunt’.”
OP was left to wonder,
“AITA?“
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for some outside opinions.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some pointed out how little food was offered at the wedding.
“Was that ALL the food they served??”
“In my country, weddings have not one but multiple buffets (charcuterie, breads, sweets, confections, hot dishes….), waiters going around with trays of canapés, cake…”
“This is so odd.”
“We value abundance here and a person leaving hungry would be the most embarrassing thing ever.”
“If she planned that little food, yes, it’s her fault people wanted to enjoy her event and still be full.”
“NTA !!!! Even tho in normal circumstances it would be very unpolite to order outside food at a reception, I think health and being hungry is a good exception.”
“People can get severely sick if they don’t eat enough (hi, hypoglycemic here), and it’s not a ‘vegetarian’ problem, it’s a catering planning problem.”
“It’s a long-a** event, there’s time in there to fit two meals. Awful not to think about the well-being of her guests.”
“And people who ate the pizza calling you a**hole, hypocrisy much?” ~be4ifallsaveme
Also,
“Same here.”
“I was Once invited to an event with only a vegetarian menu.”
“I was sure I would be hungry at the end.”
“I mean, no meat for me, that can’t work… turns out it was delicious and I was far from hungry when I came back home.”
“Better : after learning how good it was by testing it, I now eat vegetarian meal on a regular basis .”
“It’s not a vegetarian meal, it’s bullsh*t : where are the grilled eggplants, the baked tomatoes, the caramelized pineapples, the pasta salads, the rice, … ?”
“If a friend served me this ‘meal’ when I pass by to say hi, I think I would laugh and ask ‘Ok, that was a good one but seriously, where is the meal ? ‘… but for a wedding ?”
“And obviously NTA.” ~ Laeryl
Commenters suggested that the bride was just eager to be angry.
“Right.”
“NTA. I’ve never understood why so many brides seem to make it a priority to be offended.”
“They were hungry and the wedding didn’t provide enough food. So they fed themselves. Who cares.” ~ Straight_Nature_8038
Others wanted to know who to blame.Â
“Big time agree.”
“I mean it sounds like they’re embarrassed af.”
“So I’m wondering if maybe the caterer is just an idiot who doesn’t know how to make a decent vegetarian meal because there’s so many good options out there that are pretty cost-effective especially if you’re feeding an entire wedding of people.”
“I have low blood sugar so I would have done the exact same thing as OP lest I pass out halfway through my speech” ~ TheRestForTheWicked
Also,
“NTA That’s not a vegetarian meal.”
“You can’t say that there will be a meal at a wedding and feed people a meal of broccoli, a side of corn, and a salad.”
“She clearly didn’t have the budget for a dinner reception and instead of doing whatever one else does, which is cake and canapes, she tried to make it work.”
“You need better friends.”
“Because anyone that was out there eating pizza with you, and is now calling you an ah is not your friend.”
“Also I’m surprised that some of the other guest didn’t leave early.” ~ winsomebunny
There were also personal stories.
“Hundred percent agree.”
“As a lifelong carnivore who only really interacted with a vegetarian for the first time at college, I think this is ridiculous.”
“She and I would prepare huge elaborate meals for our group of friends and the issue was never what we could serve to make sure everyone was full, but rather what should we leave out because we didn’t have time/it wasn’t necessary.”
“Also loving the fact that the bride told OP that he thought she was cheap, projecting Much!”
“You’re right, love, you are cheap! And before people come at me with the whole ‘people are on a budget’ crap, I’ve been to numerous weddings (including my own) where people were watching what they spent and never once have I seen this happen.”
“I really don’t understand how certain people get married with the expectation that people will give up their whole day, find a suitable outfit, potentially pay for travel and accommodation, buy a gift, pay for drinks and sundries on the day, and yet think it is okay not to feed them and treat them well.” ~ LadyFinduillas
Or,
“100% We had a vegan wedding – buffet style meals with 3 different entrees & 6 sides, bread, salads etc.”
“This was after we had a cocktail hour with delicious nibbles & a full dessert table & cake later.”
“This issue was clearly not that this wedding had a vegetarian menu; it’s that the bride & groom did not plan to adequately feed their guests. OP is NTA.” ~ Celticquestful
For many people, weddings are meant to be luxurious celebrations of familes coming together.
And parties live and die on their menu.
Whatever the dietary needs of your guests, always remember to respect their time and their desires by offering them plenty of options.