Going to events since the pandemic has been more awkward, especially when it means meeting new people.
But having the opportunity to meet new people doesn’t require someone to invite more people, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
was being pressured by her father to invite his new girlfriend to her wedding, even though she’d never met her before.
When her father started trying to blame others, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure how to proceed.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for not wanting my dad to bring his girlfriend to my wedding?”
The OP was getting making final wedding preparations.
“I (31 [Female]) am marrying the love of my life (31 [Female]) who I’ve been with for seven years.”
“We were meant to get married a long time ago, but then the whole world went to s**t, so it was put on the backburner for a while.”
“I know some of you will likely be concerned because of the pandemic, but there is going to be a total of thirty guests with both our sides combined, it is going to be in our back garden, and every guest must be double-vaccinated and test negative on a lateral flow test.”
“If you think this is overkill, it’s just a precaution we feel most comfortable with, because I’m a Paramedic, and I don’t want to risk infecting anyone in an emergency.”
Her father complicated the situation.
“The issue here is my parents, my parents (51 [Female]) and (53 [Male]) got divorced three years ago.”
“I want both at the wedding and they were willing to play nice for me and not cause any drama, but now my Dad is insisting I invite his girlfriend (32 [Female]) who he has been dating a year.”
“I am not comfortable with this, as it’s a small family event, and then there is the embarrassment my Mum feels over him dating a woman only a year older than me, and frankly I agree with her on this…”
“I’m sure she’s a lovely woman and I hold no personal grudge against her, but I just know inviting her is a recipe for disaster, as it will be awkward for everyone.”
“My Dad insists I’m being petty and caving to my Mum’s whims in this matter and that if I gave his girlfriend a chance, I’d really like her and that it’s not fair i’m excluding her.”
“AITA for not wanting to invite her?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP had the right to invite whoever she wanted to her wedding.
“NTA. Why are people automatically assuming that the mom is ‘jealous’ because dad has moved on? Why does OP have to invite someone she does not know to her small and intimate wedding?”
“I am sure there are a bunch of other people she couldn’t invite due to the circumstances of the world at the moment. I would be ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED if my father was dating someone one year older than me and there is not a chance in h**l I would be inviting them to my wedding.”
“I especially love that dad hasn’t even made the effort to introduce the new partner to his daughter before demanding that she be invited to the wedding!”
“OP wants everyone to enjoy the wedding – surely dad can go a couple of hours without the girlfriend to attend his daughter’s wedding, since it should be all about her, not him!!!” – Curious3030
“NTA, just say no. It is a small event. Your probably not giving friends plus ones unless their partner is also close friends with you or married. Which doesn’t sound to be the case for your dad’s girlfriend.”
“Ask if they’d like to go out to dinner with you another night to celebrate as an olive branch. Or don’t. It’s your wedding.” – commenter23450
“I’d do exactly this as well. If you want to meet her later, emphasize wanting a nice time where you can properly get to know her after the stress of the wedding is over.”
“But don’t give in, it’d just be weird with her there. 3 years isn’t that long after for a relationship to be over. My parents had been divorced for 13 years when I graduated high school and dad showing up with the new woman to my graduation was still painfully awkward and she was only 10 years younger than dad.” – Morgueannah
“Oh come on, I’m sure you’ll like her, you’ll be like sisters!”
“I’m sorry, even typing that my eyes rolled back in my head.”
“NTA: you’re keeping it small, drama free, about you and your soon to be wife. You don’t need that shit in your life. Good luck, I wish you a wonderful marriage.”
“PS: whether she’s invited or not, be prepared for your dad to bring her.” – SpiritOne
Others said inviting someone the OP had never met to her wedding was a bad idea.
“NTA. Your wedding is not the time to ‘give her a chance.’ If your dad wants you to meet his child bride (I know you’re not children, but she’s literally the same age AS his child), you can do that AFTER the wedding/honeymoon.” – bogo0814
“NTA – This is not the event for her to meet the family. It’s not like it’s a 500-person event where she could melt into the background and not be an issue. It would be very distracting.” – Chrestys
“NTA, who’d want someone that neither bride had even met at their wedding?! Only 30 guests, why on earth would one of the 30 be a complete stranger to you both.”
“Deffo a good idea to meet her just for general making nice reasons but at your tiny, pandemic wedding… if it doesn’t feel right that’s all there is to it.”
“Ooh, and congratulations!” – RafRafRafRaf
“NTA I had my dad’s girlfriend at mine despite not inviting her.”
“She insisted on being in the photos as a result all my photos are off center because the photographer knew she wasn’t invited.”
“Your wedding is yours.” – DrewMaguire
“Try pointing out you havent been able to invite all the people you wanted there (distant relatives, friends, whoever) because of pandemic safety concerns, so why would you invite his girlfriend who you’ve never met?”
“This is your wedding, not a casual family BBQ. Why would you invite a literal stranger when you and your partner have had to carefully curate a guest list including people closest to you and leaving out people you probably wanted at your wedding, but aren’t as important as, let’s say, your granny?”
“If no one else gets a random plus-one, why does he? I’m sure your mom’s 2nd cousin twice removed would love to be invited, and has higher priority than dad’s girlfriend. If they don’t get an invite, why would she?”
“Even if it is his girlfriend, it’s still a rando to you and totally inappropriate to include her in a small wedding when you’ve never even met her.” – ms_anthropik
While the OP was getting pressured by her father to invite his new girlfriend, the subReddit insisted she didn’t have to listen. It was her wedding, and a small one at that, and since there were many people she couldn’t invite, it wouldn’t make sense to invite someone she’d never met.