Everyone has a bucket list.
That special grouping of once and a lifetime things to see and do.
Most people never get a chance to hit up their bucket list.
So what does one do when they have the chance to cross off a dream but that opportunity is being thwarted?
Case in point…
Redditor msru297 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for expecting my gf to cancel her plans for me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My G[irl]F[riend] is super into hiking and we planned a trip to Cali that involved a hike in the Grand Canyon.”
“She always wanted to do that.”
“We did a hike the day before that was too intense for me and I’m not a fit as her.”
“I finished but I couldn’t go the other hike… aka the dream hike of hers.”
“It was also not meant to be done in one day and the rangers said it was hard to do in one day and not advised.”
“She said she was confident she could do it saying she had hiked harder and she is very fit but I just felt like she was discounting what the rangers said.”
“I said I wasn’t going and she said she would go alone and I asked her to wait until tomorrow for me to recover.”
“She said the weather report had a 30% chance of rain for tomorrow and that she wasn’t going to give up on a bucket list hike.”
“And if I still wanted to do it tomorrow she would do it again with me.”
“I got mad because I felt like she was ok with abandoning me with nothing to do at her campsite and I didn’t want to talk to her that evening but she didn’t seem to care and prepped for her hike.”
“She finished it the next day and I feel like she didn’t care that I was too tried to hike and chose to go without me.”
“To me the people are more important than the activities, but to her she definitely wanted to finish the hike at all costs.
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“You went on a trip to go on this specific hike, and only the day before realized you’re not fit enough to go on said hike?”
“And you really expected her to just abandon her dream now that it was right there in front of her? YTA.” ~ msdu5276769
“I think, even if she’s already told him about the distance, OP’s not the a-hole for not having trained enough to be in shape, or for not wanting to do the hike that day for whatever reason.”
“But he is totally YTA for being all pouty and expecting the gf to cancel her plans for him. What?”
“He isn’t injured or a child… just sounds totally egotistical and insecure to expect her to orbit him instead of maintaining her bada** independence.”
“I think it is valid for him to feel worried about her doing a strenuous hike solo, but that didn’t sound like his primary motivation.” ~ persimmonedit
“The Grand Canyon is more difficult than most training hikes for amateur hikers.”
“Because the first part is the easy downhill part.”
“It’s easy to get in over your head and not be able to make the hike back up and out.”
“It’s hard to train for that and I didn’t hike too far into the canyon myself because of those fears.”
“I think it’s a good idea OP didn’t push himself to do the hike but ridiculous to insist his girlfriend give up on the hike herself.” ~ pfifltrigg
“I found it very telling that he called it ‘her campsite’ as though he was somehow not engaged in camping just cuz he didn’t enjoy it as much as her.”
“Honestly this whole trip sounds like something she wanted and was willing to do solo knowing it’s not his thing but his clingy entitled self convinced her it’d be fun to bring him so he wouldn’t have to occupy himself like a big boy.”
“I’d bet money he knew the difficulty of the dream hike and thought he could talk her out of being away too long.”
“He didn’t exactly hide his distaste of how long the average hiker takes completing it.”
“If he overdid himself (accidentally on purpose) the day right before.”
“OP, YTA get a freaking hobby OTHER than holding your girlfriend back from hers.” ~ Step2NoMoreClowns
“Same! It’s my favorite thing ever to sit out in nature, read a book, smoke a bowl, nibble on some snacks, take a walk and chit chat with the fellow campers, have a beer… this day sounds great!”
“And he could have some dinner ready for when she gets back!”
“And he could ask to see all of the beautiful pictures!”
“Oooohhhh and aaaahhhh over all of them.”
“And tell her how awesome and fit and amazing she is.”
“Just support the dream AND chill at the campsite. Win win.” ~ Mommayyll
“OMG! My sister is a Spartan Racer.”
“I know EVERY detail of her food prepping, work out routine, supply packing, etc., etc.”
“SO BORING!!”
“But, hardcore racers/climbers/hikers are really into this s**t, so I tolerate my sister’s obsession.”
“If she’s happy, I’m happy.”
“If OP did not hear this then he has not been listening for MONTHS!!”
“OP is YTA.” ~ Goodbye11035Karma
“OP should have done the basic research.”
“His gf did, so he could have asked her, too.”
“After his first sentence, I thought he was going to say how hard he trained for the trip so he could hike with her… but, no.”
“OP, YTA. You should have prepared by researching and building your stamina.”
“Lots of hikes, gradually increasing in length and elevation change.”
“The ranger was talking about the average person, someone like you, not someone like your gf who trains and knows what she can and cannot do.”
“I don’t know why it’s such a hardship to relax on your own for one day when you needed recovery time anyway.” ~ FoxInLilac
“For a minute I thought he had a point and was concerned about her safety – but no, just worried about being bored at camp.”
“She doesn’t have to sacrifice her dreams to alleviate your boredom OP. YTA.” ~ Possible_Papaya_3279
“YTA – you can’t be alone for ONE DAY for her to finish off a BUCKET LIST item?”
“You knew why she was there and chose not to come along, she didn’t force you.”
“Maybe next time either work out before or stay home if you’re going to be sulking.” ~ Used_Grocery_9048
“Agreed!!!! You go on a hiking trip for your GF but want to take a day off on the day of her dream hike! Cmon!”
“Well, guess you both won.”
“You recovered and she did her hike!
“Still, YTA OP!” ~ ObjectiveAttitude522
“OP taking a break was smart, and reasonable.”
“You need to know your limits when hiking in the Grand Canyon.”
“But expecting his GF to take a break too, was ridiculous.”
“Boy needs to grow up and bring a book with him next time.”
“Nothing beats sitting in the lobby of the El Tovar hotel with a good book, they might even have their holiday decorations up at this point!”
“Anyway, he could have done a nice short hike in the morning to stretch his legs, there’s even a few hikes that stay on the rim, so he wouldn’t have to do any elevation.”
“Eat lunch at their campsite, and then go park his butt in one of the numerous couches in the lobby for a few hours.”
“Catch the sunset, and if she’s still not back, go read some more!”
“There’s no excuse for being ‘bored’ at the Grand Canyon, just f-ing stare at the canyon for awhile!” ~ OrindaSarnia
“I cannot imagine not preparing for hiking and thinking I can go wing it.”
“Then being selfish enough to try to guilt my GF when my lack of stamina caught up with me.”
“YTA, mate.” ~ mirandaisntright
“This. The first half, I was thinking ‘Oh, he doesn’t want her to hike alone because it’s dangerous.'”
“But then the reality of him just not wanting to be bored came in and the whole thing become clear.”
“OP, YTA.” ~ Tippydaug
“I am pretty sure I know which hike OP is talking about, it was my dream hike too and I did it in summer.”
“I am also not that fit and I managed it just fine.”
“OP, continue like this and she will soon be your ex-gf. Also GC is not it Cali. YTA.” ~ bbbrum
“I also don’t understand… if i’m not so fit in hiking, i don’t plan two big hikes right in a row.”
“You first make a smaller one to warm up.”
“Hopeful you didn’t do this and the small hike was even too much… and you inform yourself about the routes.”
“You don’t just are already there, the day before and have a ranger tell you something about the route.”
“But I guess your gf was informed.”
“And she surely packed something like a book or kindle.”
“I mean, how can you be so bad prepared and then try to guilt-trip your gf to miss the hike because you can’t be alone for one day?!”
“As if he is a whiny child. YTA.” ~ EvilFinch
Well OP, Reddit is pretty clear that they disagree with your choice.
You did what was best for you and it sounds like GF did what was best for her.
That’s how relationships work.
It should all work out.