When you’re a guest in someone’s home, it’s only polite to abide by their rules.
Even if we wouldn’t behave in quite the same way at our own house, we still suck it up and obey, as the hosts were generous enough to let them stay.
At the same time though, if hosts do offer to open their home to guests, it’s equally important for them to make every effort to make their stay as comfortable as possible.
Redditor Decorproblem34 and their wife made every effort to make sure their brother and sister-in-law were comfortable during their stay.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)’s wife was constantly upset by their apparent disrespect of one of her unique touches to their room.
So much so that the OP even called their brother and his wife “rude guests.”
Worried that they may have been out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for calling my brother & SIL rude guests for removing the decorative pillows my wife put in the guests room?”
The OP explained how they felt their brother and sister-in-law were being disrespectful while they were guests in their house.
“My brother & SIL moved in temporarily.”
“They’re staying in the guest room.”
“So far we’ve been on the same page concerning all things except the decorative pillows.”
“My wife loves adding decorative pillows on beds, and she did the same with the guest’s bedroom.”
“She did it to make the room look better, and also it’s her preference.”
“She came to me complaining about seeing the decorative pillows in the guest room being put on the floor and not being put on the bed during the day.”
“I went to talk with my brother, and he explained that SIL was tired of having to move the (7 pillows in total) pillows before using the bed.”
“I explained how my wife finds this disrespectful, but He thought it was no big deal and that my wife was being a little too obsessed especially since SIL is pregnant and can’t put the pillows back every time.”
“We had a fight, and I ended up calling him & SIL ‘rude guests’ because of it.”
“He & SIL got offended, and there was tension in the house over it.”
“My wife isn’t speaking to them, and they aren’t speaking to me.”
“Maybe my wife overreacted, Maybe I shouldn’t have called them that, but it is what it is so…”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little to No sympathy from the Reddit community, who felt they were pretty clearly the a**hole for calling their brother and sister-in-law “rude guests”.
Everyone agreed that the OP and their wife were not only overreacting but were in fact the rude ones in this situation, particularly for making the OP’s sister-in-law remove and replace the decorative pillows every day while pregnant.
‘O FFS put them in a closet until they leave and put them back.”
“Problem solved and get over yourselves.”- MrFizzard
“It’s a GUEST ROOM.”
“A room for the GUESTS to use.”
“Let them use it.”
“When they are gone your wife can redecorate as she wishes until the next guest comes.”
“YTA.”
“Sheesh.”-rekniht01
“YTA.”
“Decorative pillows usually aren’t comfortable, you guys have seven, SEVEN of them on one bed?”
“Yeah, obviously they’re gonna move seven friggin extra pillows to the floor.”
“Are you guys really trying to put aesthetics before your guests’ comfort?”-TeenyMom
“YTA.”
“They’re using that bed every night.”
“Do YOU have to move seven hard, uncomfortable, ‘decorative’ pillows every time you go to bed?”
“Because that’s not actually normal.”- SmadaSlaguod
“Your bro and SIL have moved in, albeit temporarily.”
“While you can expect a level of cleanliness and order, your wife cannot dictate how they keep their room at this point.”
“Until they move out, it’s their room, and if they don’t want to use the stupid pillows they don’t have to.”
“Hell, they could bag up the entire bedspread and use their own.”
“YTA as is your wife.”- Quirky_Conference_91
“YTA.”
“Put the pillows somewhere else while they’re there if your wife doesn’t want to see them on the floor.”
“Putting them back on the bed every day is ridiculous.”-NapalmAxolotl
“YTA.”
“I wish this was my biggest worry in life.”- charliensue
“YTA.”
“This is the stupidest hill to die on.”
“Why is your wife snooping in your brother’s room to see if the pillows are in the bed or not?”-Harry7411
“YTA SIL is pregnant, and yes it is exhausting moving decorative pillows several times a day.”
“Note the use ‘decorative’.”
“The bed is being used now and isn’t empty where it can look like an Ikea setup.”
“If putting them on the floor is what upset your wife you could have respectfully addressed that instead of creating this unnecessary tension.”- No_Stranger2734
“YTA.”
“Decorative pillows are rarely practical or comfortable.”
“The first thing I do when I stay somewhere that has them is to take them off the bed.”
“What a petty thing to create so much drama about.”- Wintery1
“My parents have 2 decorative pillows on a king bed.”
“When I stay, they go in the wardrobe and stay there until I leave, when I make the bed up fully.”
“Really, if they’re staying there, that’s their room and should be private, so it doesn’t matter if they put the pillows back as they should be the only ones to see them.”
“YTA.”
“This is a weird hill to die on.”- Legendary_Bumblebee
“YTA.”
“They are stupid pillows.”
“Who wants to put 7 decorative pillows on and off a bed every single day.”
“Your wife needs to get over it.”- Suspicious-Bar9635
“YTA if they are occupying the guest room why are you checking in there, give your GUESTS some f*cking privacy.”- LoneRiverCouple
“YTA.”
“And you sound like you’d kill a party.”
“It’s a pillow.”
“Get over it.”
“Stop going in their room, YOU WEIRDO.”- RepresentativeOk4625
“YTA.”
“You and your wife are terrible hosts.”
“They‘re sleeping in that room, and it doesn’t matter whether they put the pillows back onto the bed or not.”
“Your wife just wanted to be petty, and you jumped onto the bandwagon.”
“Congrats.”- realstareyes
“YTA.”
“Well, your wife.”
“Just put the pillows away, omg.”
“Are you 90 or 9?”- JustABabyBear
“YTA.”
“Also, why is your wife going into their bedroom?”
“If they are sleeping in that room then it is theirs while they do so.”
“Is it normal for you guys to snoop around other people’s bedrooms?”- Ok-Educator850
“YTA.”
“Why are y’all even looking in there?”
“They’re your guests, and it’s their private space.”
“Your wife is being mean and ridiculous.”
“If she doesn’t want the pillows being put on the floor, then put them in a tote or clean trashbag until your guests leave.”
“This is a simple solution to a non-problem.”
“You and your wife need to work on your maturity.”- GennyNels
“Seven decorative pillows on one bed?”
“Seven?”
“That’s an insane amount.”
“Why can’t your wife just put them in the linen closet while the room is being lived in and not just exist as a show room for your wife’s decorating?”
“YTA.”- CornPantz
“YTA.”
“You are a rude host.”
“As a host, it is expected that you adjust things to a reasonable amount for your guests.”
“This is well within that reasonable area.”
“Your SIL is pregnant, constantly moving 7 decorative pillows is ridiculous for a pregnant woman.”
“Hell, it’s ridiculous for anyone.”
“Also why is your wife going into their room?”
“While they are using it no one should be going in there without reason, it’s rude and impolite.”- JudgeJed100
“YTA.”
“Who the f*ck cares if they place the pillows back on the bed or not?”
“It’s not as if they threw them out.”
“That’s very obsessive and controlling behavior in my opinion.”- Fantastic-Focus-7056
“YTA, if your wife gets her back up this much over pillows she needs therapy.”- WoolenSquid
“YTA.”
“You’re rude hosts.”
“You invaded your guests’ privacy and compromised their comfort over throw pillows.”
“Surely you have more going on in life.”- RoyallyOakie
“YTA.”
“They aren’t being rude guests, but you and your wife are sure being rude hosts.” –panthereagledevil
“YTA.”
“7 decorative pillows is rediculous to expect of someone else.”
“If she chooses it for herself, sure”
“But f*ck right off expecting your guests who are staying more than 1 night to mess about with them.”
“While they are there is their bedroom, close the door, stay out and leave them alone.”
“Your wife needs a real-world problem, carrying on over pillows shows she has no real problems.”-squirlysquirel
One can only imagine the OP’s wife hoped to impress her guests by placing seven decorative pillows on their bed.
Even so, she and the OP should have considered how making a pregnant woman bend over and put them back multiple times might not have been the most considerate thing to do.
Or for any guest, for that matter.