Redditor Fantastic-Focus-7056 exposed a colleague’s confidential information while engaging in a discussion about raising a family as a single parent.
The Original Poster (OP) visited the “Am I the a**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for pointing out my colleague is divorced during discussion.”
The OP wrote:
“So I was recently dragged into a conversation at work. A male and female coworker were talking across from me and I’m not sure how they got to this topic because I wasn’t paying attention, but the male coworker asked if we thought it was okay for women to become a single mom through a sperm donor.”
“Before I could say anything, my female coworker said she thought it was a bad idea since children need a mom and a dad.”
“I asked her if she then also thought same-sex couples shouldn’t have kids, to which she immediately replied they shouldn’t and went on a rampage to defend her point.”
“Now, I have multiple friends that are in a same-sex couple and some of them do have kids and they are amazing parents!”
“So I pointed out that by her logic, she should not have kids either since she is newly divorced and that means her kids don’t have a mom and dad available at all times either.”
“Needless to say, this brought the discussion to a speedy halt.”
“Some coworkers said IATA [I am the a**hole] because she had a very bad divorce and still suffers from it, so I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“I didn’t mean to shame her because of getting divorced at all. Sometimes there is simply no other solution.”
“I was just trying to point out that you could easily turn around her arguments against single parents or same-sex parents to reflect on her situation.”
“So AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors declared NTA.
“NTA. All you did was turn her awful logic on her. If she was hurt by having her own beliefs applied to her, then she should really reevaluate those beliefs.”
“What she said was wrong and bigoted, going through a tough divorce doesn’t excuse her of that.” – Xrath02
“Yup. Agree with this one 100%. NTA.”
“If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out…. Or, presuming they’re religious, ‘let he without sin, cast the first stone.'” – DSM2TNS
An LGBTQ Redditor weighed in with their thoughts on the discussion.
“Hi, real life gay here,”
“You’d be surprised. You tend to get different kinds of homophobia from different people. Most of the ‘I wanna take your rights away’ or ‘conversion camp’ stuff is from hardcore Christians.”
“From otherwise ‘more chill’ Christians you get stuff like ‘I just think a kid needs a mom and a dad’ or ‘I don’t care if you’re gay I just don’t want my kids to be gay’.”
“Non-religious homophobes are the ones I’ve seen that get violent or angry the most. They don’t try to explain or reason why they’re homophobic, they just feel strongly about it.”
“My friend’s dad treated him horribly for being gay, that man never went to church ever. A lot of harassment, yelling, and physical violence I’ve seen comes from people without a doctrine, they just hate because they want to.”
“Not to say that homophobic violence doesn’t ever come from Christians or that they aren’t related.”
“But if given the choice between being locked in a room with an outspoken political Christian homophobe and a non-religious homophobe who feels just as strongly, I’d begrudgingly take the Christian.” – Dorianscale
“It just peeves me too when people use religion to support their bigotry.”
“I’m not religious but my grandma was very religious and very active in her church. Oh she would go off on people with closed-minded views, especially if they tried to use religion to justify it.” – DSM2TNS
“NTA. she’s a bigot and a hypocrite. calling her out and thinking her own skewed logic through is not an AH move At all.”
“She Made her bed by saying stupid stuff.”
“You never know who’s in the closet and hears her bigotry, so the fact that she says stuff that’s not only factually wrong but really hurtful means she doesn’t give a damn about others.” – TiniestGhost
“NTA. You gave her the rope, she hanged herself with it.” – AntheaBrainhooke
“Honestly the whole conversation should have been shut down, because what the f’k. ‘Hey, let’s pass judgement on whether we think other people’s life and family choices are valid’ is not really a topic of conversation for work.”
“It’s none of this dude’s business whether women become single moms by choice. If someone asked him to be a donor he can work that out with his actual friends or a therapist.”
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Commenting on the ways other people are living their lives wrong opens you up to criticism on your own choices so I think it’s a low blow but fair.”
“But honestly would’ve been better to tell them all to shut it. NTA.” – Errvalunia
The OP responded with the following update:
“Looking back I could have chosen my words more carefully or opted out of the convo.”
“I’ll admit I can be a bit hotheaded if I feel strongly about a certain subject.”
Overall, Redditors said the OP was NTA and said of the coworker that people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.