At one point is it considered meddling if a person oversteps their bounds to call out a family member doing something irresponsible?
That was the quandary Redditor EquipmentOtherwise46 faced, and the drama started with a missing nebulizer belonging to their sister who was suffering an asthma attack.
They visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for calling my cousin irresponsible parents because he chose to buy PS5 instead of a nebulizer which his daughter needs?”
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“So earlier around 3:00 am, my younger sister had an asthma attack. We normally don’t fret about it until we found out that our nebulizer is missing.”
“My mom remembered lending it to someone but forgot who. After multiple phone calls from our relatives, she found out my cousin (28 male) had it. Unfortunately, he cannot send it right away due to the curfew hours in their area.”
“So she was forced to endure my asthma attack until around 6 a.m. But since it is really difficult to see my sister struggle with her asthma, I went out at 5 a.m. and risked being arrested just to go to my cousin’s house.”
“I was able to sneak (thank God) and returned home safely.”
“So my cousin has an asthmatic daughter. Her case is so bad that sometimes she will be hospitalized. Yet for whatever reason, he still resorts to borrowing rather than buying his own unit.”
“Then, when I went to Facebook earlier, I was shocked when I saw him boasts his new PS5. He really had the audacity to do that after what happened earlier?”
“So I called him to reprimand about it. I said how about he prioritizes his daughter’s needs first rather than buying unnecessary expensive things so that the earlier incident will be prevented?”
“He got furious and said mind my own business. I got furious and called him an irresponsible father, and hanged up.”
“Hours later, my mom talked to me. My cousin’s mom relied on her about what I did. My mom wanted me to apologize and instead be more compassionate. I mean, my cousin is poor, and he probably has been dying to own a game console.”
“I just shut up, yet deep inside I’m annoyed because she’s siding with my cousin.”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors declared the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. I’m quite sure the ‘poor father just dying for a crumb of a console game’ could’ve picked up a used PS4 and still bought 3 nebulizers.” – Sheila_Monarch
“Also, poor means he has to be more responsible with the funds that he has. It sucks, but that’s the sad truth. He might be ‘dying for a PS5,’ but he will not actually die if he doesn’t have one.”
“His poor daughter might actually die from an acute asthma attack. OP’s sister might have died from her asthma attack because he failed to return hers.” – saucynoodlelover
“NTA. Your cousin is endearing his daughter. She needs it to live and he bought a game console. He could have bought a used PS4 or switch lite and still have money left for a nebulizer.”
“If he’s poor he shouldn’t be spending on things like that nyway so many games you can play on your phone a game console isn’t necessary. Call CPS.” – Mera1506
“NTA. I would not apologize to looking out for the CHILD who is at risk for serious hospitalization (and possibly death) because her parent would rather purchase a game console.”
“’Mind your own business’ in this case is how kids get abused and no one says anything.”
“Where’s your mother’s compassion for the minor child who will suffer a significang medical event?”
“I’d be FURIOUS.” – Kettlewise
Some found the mother loaning out her daughter’s medical lifesaver in the first place and forgetting who she lent it to was an egregious mistake.
“Op NTA…but what kind of mother is like yah sure go ahead a borrow this need medical equipment because you’re to cheap to buy one.”
“Am judging OPs mom more then anyone as not only did she borrow it out she forgot who had it like how many times dose she do this???” – Bellatrix_dog
“Agreed! My daughter has severe asthma and I cannot imagine letting someone borrow her nebulizer machine. I bought a second one that travels with her and hooks up to a car lighter, but no way would I loan either one out and risk her life.” – blue_dragons_fly
“Mother is also the AH for lending out the nebuliser. As long as you have a kid who still needs it, it should never leave the house.”
“I remember one bad night when both my brother and I had an attack (first and only time it ever happened), we had to share the nebuliser since we only had one.”
“But both attacks came without warning and ramped up really fast, it definitely would have been a trip to the hospital if we didn’t have it.” – Fiesty_tofu
“NTA. But your mum is also an AH for a) loaning medication your sister needs without having a backup and b) loaning necessary medication without bothering to remember who it was loaned to.” – lafemmebrulee
There was a lot of blame going around.
“The father is the a**hole for not buying a nebulizer, ops mum is the as**hole for lending something so important, and the healthcare system is the a**hole for risking children’s lives for money.” – is_a_cat
“I’m so sad for so many people in this scenario because of the above. Both children are suffering and no one seems to give a damn besides OP.”
“NTA OP. I’m sorry that you’re the only one who seems to care about your sister and your cousin’s kid. I wonder if this would classify as medical neglect?” – PlentyNaive
Many of the commenters objected to the OP’s cousin placing more value on a gaming console over his daughter’s life.
For this reason, a majority of Redditors stood by the OP for reprimanding his cousin’s negligence as a parent.