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New Dad Accused Of ‘Betraying’ Sister After He Named His Son Without Consulting Her First


Names are an important part of life.

That’s why choosing a name for a new life can be stressful.

But it should be fun.

The fun can lessen when people claim name ownership.

Case in point…

Redditor Throwawayacc_0983 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for not ‘consulting’ my sister when my wife and I picked our baby’s name?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I’ll try to keep it short and I’m on mobile so sorry for formatting.”

“Me (27 M[ale]) and my wife (26 F[emale]) have been together since we were 16.”

“We got married two years ago and just had our first child.”

“For the sake of privacy, I’ll call our child ‘Mason.'”

“When we announced our baby’s name at his birth, everyone seemed happy.”

“But after everyone gave my wife and I time to bond with our son, my sister (25 F) asked me if she could talk to me.”

“When we were in private, she blew up at me saying I was betraying her by naming my child Mason.”

“She said his name was on a list of ‘potential baby names’ if she had a boy.”

“I had not known about this list beforehand so that was a surprise.”

“She asked me to change my son’s name because apparently Mason was one of two names she chose for a boy.”

“My father sided with me but my mother sided with my sister.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t double check with your childless sister to see if she had a secret future baby name list that conflicted with the name of your actual baby. NTA.”

“The only thing that would make this better is if she’s single.” ~ AstariaEriol

“I wouldn’t necessarily jump on mental instability, she’s possibly just spoiled.”

“Since their mom sided with her in this ridiculous request I’m guessing she sides with her a lot. NTA.”  ~ opinionswelcomehere

“HAHA, she’s absolutely nuts. NTA.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this but congrats on your baby!” ~ nostalgeek81

“How insensitive of you.”

“From now on check paint, drapes, sofa, bed linen and clothing colors with her.”

“Just in case she may wear/use them in the future.”

“It doesn’t matter if she has a house or not.”

“How dare you name your child without permission and use a name that was unknowingly banned from you.”

“I would also check with her for brand names, cars etc. NTA.” ~ Pretend_Librarian_35

“OP’s wife also better check out any clothing purchases with her S[ister] I[n] L[aw].”

“Especially for any family events.”

“Heaven forbid that they show up in the same outfit.”

“This includes shoes and earrings. Oh and purses.”

“And let’s not forget lipstick color don’t want them to have the same lipstick color!”

“That would be tragic.”  ~ AffectionateOwl5824

“My ex-SIL did this to me (sort of).”

“When I was pregnant with my first, she had 3 girls at this point, wasn’t pregnant and my brother was adamant there would be no more babies, she banned me from having a name for a boy just in case she did have a boy one day. NTA.”  ~ FragileBird90

“My cousin had a baby two months before me and used the name I had in mind.”

“I had never spoke to her about it, so why would I be mad?”

“I jokingly told her, and that I was going with my other choice.”

“We all laughed about it and she said she was cool if I still used it.”

“I didn’t because I thought it would be confusing, but we all laughed.”

“It was funny, not a fight. NTA.” ~ NastyMsPiggleWiggle

“NTA obviously. And while your sister is clearly acting immature (enough said about that), it is your mom that baffles me.”

“If your sister had a list, and you and your wife had a list, both of you liked the name Mason, and then you had a son.”

“In what universe are you supposed to give that name to your sister, according to your mom?”

“This is a Golden Child flag.” ~ phydeaux44

“You should be upset, that she did not check with you years ago first to see whether the name was on your fictional baby name list before adding it her fictional baby name list. NTA.” ~ Strange-Strategy554

“NTA she’s jealous, this is just a way to create drama and focus attention and pity on her because she doesn’t have anything interesting or substantial going on in her life.”  ~ Aimlesskeek

“NTA. My husband and I wanted to name any daughter we had after one of his grandmothers who died before we started having kids.”

“We now have 2 sons and 0 daughters.”

“His sister had a daughter just before our eldest was born and named her after the grandmother.”

“We said ‘That’s sweet’ and moved on to our next set of names.”

“Your sister needs to move on.”

“Congrats on the kiddo!” ~ Metaphises

“Completely agree with the NTA.”

“My G[irl]F[riend] and I decided we want to name our future daughter after my aunt who is super sweet, but unable to have children of her own.”

“About 3 weeks ago, my brother’s daughter was born, and as you can guess he gave her the same name.”

“Sure, I understand a bit of initial disappointment that the name is now gone.”

“But getting angry about this is absolute dogsh*t, I’m just happy my aunt now has a niece named after her.”  ~psycomancer

“Nope. Absolutely NTA. You’re not a mind reader.”

“It won’t change my vote, but I’m just curious – is your sister actually pregnant with this child she’s making lists of names for, or is this just a hypothetical kid?” ~ MerryChayse

“NTA – your sister and mother are being ridiculous.”

“1) You didn’t know…”

“2) your sister has no greater right to the name than you…”

“3) she may not ever even have a boy….”

“4) your sister has no right to dictate names you can/can’t use…”

“5) People who get wound up about a name like your mum and sis are pretty much always the AH…”

“6) your sister had 2 names on her list, so I guess she can use the other one (I dare you to have another boy and name him that too).” ~ Relevant_Turnip_7538

“NTA. Your child is here and named.”

“It is not like the name is a special name or to honor anyone.”

“Your sister is very childish with this request.”

“Maybe you need to go low contact with her until she gets over this.”

“Don’t let your child alone with her.” ~ Fair_Text1410

“NTA. The only people that need consulted are those who are the parents who will be living with the name.”

“It’s nobody’s business until after birth anyways.”

“Demanding a name change is absurd, she doesn’t own the name.” ~ Thyumos

“NTA. If this was a name that was extremely special to her for some reason (beloved relative or something) and she didn’t want anyone else choosing it, then she should have made that known so that people could take it into consideration if they wished to.”

“Even then, you’re under no obligation to not use it.”

“Also, it’s one thing to be upset, but to actually ask you to change your baby’s name is utterly ridiculous.” ~ KatInBoxOrNot

OP came back with some deets…

“Ok did not expect this many comments haha.”

“I’m going to answer some questions from the comments though.”

“No she is not in a relationship/married.”

“She’s not pregnant as far as I know.”

“She doesn’t want to go to therapy because it will ‘brainwash’ her.”

“I don’t get her reasoning on that.”

“She was the golden child growing up because she was a high risk pregnancy.”

“And now onto the update: It’s been a day since my wife and I had our son.”

“My family has left due to work things etc, and I’ve been working from home in order to help my wife if she needs it.”

“I got a call from my sister today asking if I’ve changed the name. I said no.”

“She got pissed off at me and continued to berate me about ‘stealing’ her baby name because she had ‘mentioned’ it at a Christmas party last year to our mother and assumed she told me.”

“My wife and I had to leave 10 minutes in due to my wife not feeling well.”

“Turns out that’s how we found out we were pregnant.”

“I told her she could use her other choice as a name for a son and she said ‘Colton’ (fake name) isn’t as good as Mason.”

“Mason’s a strong boy name, and well… Colton’s the opposite.”

“Since you and your wife are both professors I think you would like the name Colton better.”

“I was so pissed off at her that I hung up.”

“Looking for something to do, I suggested to my wife that she take a nap so I could take care of Mason.”

“She asked if I was okay (she heard the call) and I said yes and that I loved her and our family just the way it was.”

“There’s absolutely no way we were changing his name and I’m honestly debating on cutting my sister out of my life as of now.”

“I cannot deal with this drama and a newborn.”

“That turned out to be a bit of a long update so sorry.”

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Nobody owns a name.

Especially for a “hypothetical” person.

Sounds like you’re focusing on the right things… you and you’re family.

Good luck and Congratulations.