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Dad Weirded Out After His Grieving Ex Won’t Stop Asking To Meet His New Son

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There is no greater pain than losing a child. But, that is no excuse to harass those we love.

We all deserve to be happy, while taking responsibility for our actions.

Redditor babymeetingex encountered this very issue with their ex. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.

They asked:

“AITA for not letting my Ex girlfriend see my child?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“This is a long and painful story. To start, my ex girlfriend and I lost our son due to SIDS when he was 4 months old. It was traumatic and brutal and even now I still feel that pain. My ex took it the hardest and the grief really put her in a dark place.”

“She started drinking so much right after he died, refused to get any kind of help even when I tried to push her into going to grief counseling with me.”

“After a year she was a different person and I couldn’t stay in the relationship anymore since she didn’t accept help from anyone and it was clear she wasn’t going to change.”

OP found their fiancée.

“8 months after the breakup I met my now fiancée, a year and a half later we found out we were having a baby. My ex found out about it somehow and freaked.”

“I was getting constant messages on Twitter, FB, Instagram from her calling me names because ‘how dare I try to replace our son.’ It didn’t stop there, she was also harassing my fiancée.”

“Telling her I’m not really in love with her and just using her to recreate the family I used to have with my ex.”

“And ‘her’ (fiancée) child will never replace our child. It was seriously disturbing and I had to block her, plus get her family involved.”

Things got better.

“We didn’t hear from her anymore. Our son is barely a year old now and she contacted me again.”

“This time she was apologizing for her behavior in the past. She admitted she was still hurt over me leaving her and moving on to start a family with someone else.”

“She’s asked if I could see her just once to meet my son. That was a shock to me and I had to ask why. My ex says she wants to meet our son’s brother and hold him so she can feel connected to our boy one last time.”

OP is confused.

“Honestly I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this but it made me pretty uncomfortable. She says she only wants one meeting and won’t bother us again, but with her history, my fiancée and I don’t feel like we want our son to meet her at all.”

“She’s been asking us repeatedly even after I already said no and her mom has reached out to me. My ex is very depressed right now it seems. Her mom asks if I could do her this kindness and maybe this will give her some sort of closure.”

“It just doesn’t sit right with me. Her family is pressuring me now and my ex keeps begging me to let her have this one thing. Now even my own mom thinks I’m being too paranoid and callous with her. That she’s obviously grieving losing her child and I shouldn’t forget this was someone I once loved.”

“So yes, people think we’re being too cold not doing my ex this favor and I don’t know if we are.”

Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Most Redditors agreed OP is not the a**hole.


“Please contact her parents or someone who cares about her, she needs professional help, this state of mind is very VERY bad.”

“Meeting your son will probably just push her even further down the rabbit hole.” ~ obviousthrowawaypooo

“I absolutely agree. This child is not her emotional support animal and too many things could go wrong.”

“But I also think OP should have closure with this woman in some symbolic way so she stops hounding him.”

“I know he’s not obligated to do anything BUT this is a woman who he loved who needs help and I think OP would be a decent person if he gave her some symbolic way that the two of them would lay their son to rest for the last time.”

“Planting a tree in the babies name or something like that so they acknowledge what they had an his memory lives on… and then part ways forever more.” ~ ImFinePleaseThanks

“This, seriously.”


“One year later…”

‘What I said before about how you guys shouldn’t have a baby and you need to get rid of your baby… I was just kidding! On a completely different topic, let me hold him real quick. Just for a second.’

“Sounds real suspish.” ~ RedoftheEvilDead

Some Redditors argued that OP is not responsible for their ex.

“If she wants to meet OP’s boy as a way to be with her son, she hasn’t fully grieved and accepted that he is gone.”

“Understandably she doesn’t want to face that, and our psyches will do anything to protect us from such incredible pain. But it’s not healthy for her, for you or your son.”

“For her, it’s a way to continue to hang on to him. It’s the negotiation stage of grief, if I can see him one time… It doesn’t work because it perpetuates her fantasy that the son is still here.”

“OP, tell her no because her son is sadly gone and nothing can change that. I’m so sorry for both of you, this is heartbreaking. I hope she gets help.” ~ GirlDwight


“Yes, your ex needs serious help. She’s obviously ill. But you aren’t her physician or her therapist.”

“Given her past behaviour, there’s no reason at all you should feel safe or comfortable doing this. She was severely abusive to you and your fiancé.”

“I don’t think you’re being cold. I think you’re being prudent, given all she’s put you through.”

“And I am so, so sorry about your loss.” ~ Aromatic-Ice-968

As a parent, it’s your responsibility to protect your child at all costs.