The term “bridezilla” gets thrown around fairly casually.
Sometimes, it’s hard to argue that the label wasn’t earned, when a bride is more than just demanding, but also rude and inconsiderate to her friends and family.
However, sometimes a bride is rather unfairly labeled a “bridezilla”, simply owing to the fact that she wants her wedding to be perfect, or as much as perfect permits.
Which might result in her taking a tone with certain people.
The wedding of Redditor RealCar40 was fast approaching, and her sister was going to be one of her bridesmaids.
However, the original poster (OP) noticed something about her sister that she foresaw being a problem on the day of the wedding.
When she confronted her sister about it, her sister was anything but appreciative, even going so far as to call the OP a “bridezilla”.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my sister either she washes her hair before my wedding or she’s not going to be a bridesmaids?”
The OP explained why she gave her sister an ultimatum ahead of her wedding day:
“I’m (29 F[emale]) getting married Saturday 16th of August 2025.”
“My sister (25 F[emale]) is one of my bridesmaids.”
“She has very long beautiful hair.”
“According to my sister, the last time she washed her hair was the 6th of August, and she’s not planning on washing it before the 20th.”
“She works at a job which causes her to be sweating all day.”
“Today, her hair already smells and looks greasy, I can’t imagine what might happen on my wedding day.”
“I gave her the ultimatum and she called me that cliche overused term, a bridezilla.”
“She is still welcomed at my wedding either way.”
“Am I bridezilla?”
“Am I the a**hole ?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for demanding her sister wash her hair before the wedding.
Everyone agreed that the OP was anything but a “bridezilla”, and her sister was being selfish and unhygienic by refusing to wash her hair:
“I don’t understand why she can’t wash her hair for your wedding?”
“She’s planning on washing it 4 days after anyway.”
“Her hair won’t fall out for one time going off her shampoo schedule.”
“Is she usually very particular about her hair?”
“NTA.”- smileysarah267
“NTA.”
“I do not think asking one of your bridesmaids to wash their greasy, smelly hair before the wedding is a big ask, I think it’s basic hygiene.”
“If it’s a huge bother for her, she can make an appointment at a salon for a wash only.”-quincebush
“NTA.”
“The poor stylist you’ve hired for the big day does not deserve to be subjected to such poor hygiene.”
“Can you imagine how much time that poor person would have to spend elbow deep in days and days of grease build up?”
“Bleh.”
“Not to mention that a smelly, visibly greasy bridesmaid will pull focus.”
“Yes, it shouldn’t matter, but everyone has some little old ladies in the family who make it their job to notice.”
“10 days unwashed is plenty.”
“A little shampoo isn’t going to hurt her or her hair.”- JustheBean
“NTA.”
“Hygiene is prob the most basic ancient etiquette rule.”
“She is the AH.”- Illustrious_Band8500
“NTA.”
“It’s a hygiene matter.”- kiwimuz
“NTA.”
“Especially if she’s planning on getting her hair done for the wedding.”
“I’m assuming after ten days her hair will be fairly greasy which will make it difficult to style, and coming from experience as someone who’s done bridesmaid hair on greasy hair, if there’s a hot tool being used, it’s going to smell horrible too.”- Right_Water1522
“NTA.”
“But I’d tell her that her hair needs to be washed the day BEFORE the wedding.”
“That way, you can do the smell test: if her hair is stinky, drop her from the wedding party.”
“Ignore her name calling.”
“Instead, tell her to (re)read the Parable of the Wedding Feast.”
“The guest who arrived not wearing a proper wedding gown got kicked out for their lack of decorum.”
“Proper wear includes being washed, for heavens sake!”- Individual_Ad_9213
“Ugh, I get people trying to train their hair or whatever and washing on a less regular basis, because it seems that legitimately works for some people.”
“But, like dreads and other protective styles, it’s possible to do while still remaining hygienic.”
“It sounds like your sister is missing the hygienic aspect.”
“It shouldn’t smell.”
“Maybe she’s just trying something new and that’s fine but an important event should be an exception.”
“Definitely NTA.”- scout-finch
“NTA.”
“You didn’t ask her to majorly cut it or color it a specific color or tell her she must wear some ugly wig instead.”
“You asked her to wash her hair.”
“To wash her hair.”
“It’s not even like she has some disability that prevents her from doing this, she’s just not washing her hair because she wants to be like that.”
“At least you were nice about it.”
“I would have told her to scrub it all or face the consequences, and don’t she dare forget to scrub her legs and get between those butt cheeks — it’s not gay to scrub your anus, boys and girls!”-TrelanaSakuyo
“NTA.”
“People should wash their hair on a regular basis.”- LazyAd622
“NTA.”
“I had a friend who I love dearly as my bridesmaid who often hair greasy hair.”
“I ended up booking us appointment to go get our hair washed and blow dried the day before my wedding as a fun girls relaxation.”
“It did cost me but I felt like it was a fun way to spend some time together before my wedding and a way for me to ensure we all looked our best without making her feel bad or getting stressed out over it.”
“My hairdresser was so amazing and did a discounted appointment for us since they were doing the hair for the wedding.”
“It’s been almost 10 yrs and still have never told her that it was mostly for that reason and I never will.”- PettyPredisposition
“NTA.”
“Your sister is a gross person.”- Bottom_of_the_bottle
“NTA.”
“I wouldn’t even allow her to attend.”
“So gross and disrespectful!”- No_Mention3516
“NTA.”
“As someone who normally only washes their hair every 1-2 weeks unless I get particularly sweaty (and no, my hair never looks ‘greasy’ until maybe the end of that period if I go more than a week), your sister is being absolutely ridiculous.”
“If I had a super special event, LIKE MY SISTER’S WEDDING, then I would reschedule my hair wash day accordingly, so I would look my absolute best for that day, ESPECIALLY if I’m in the Bridal Party!”
“It’s 100% reasonable that you would expect your sister to look her best for your wedding, whether or not she’s part of the Bridal Party.”- heyits_AP
“NTA.”
“Your sister is probably nose blind to how bad she smells.”- Bottom_of_the_bottle
“NTA.”
“I assume that all the bridesmaids are subject to the same rule: ‘Wash your body and hair shortly before the wedding’.”
“Your sister has to follow the same rules as everyone else.”
“The only difference is that your sister is the only one who has to actually be told about the rule.”
“Everyone else already knows.”- IDontLikeGreenPeas
“NTA.”
“She’s 25.”
“Basic hygiene should have been learned at an early age.”
“So what she’s doing is just gross.”
“It’s your day.”
“Either get with the program or go sit in the corner with that mess.”
“She can accommodate for your day.”
“She needs to stop listening to what works best for other people.”
“If you can smell her everyone can.”
“It’s just unhygienic and she needs to be an adult.”- Sassychic77
“NTA.”
“I have long thick curly hair.”
“However, I wash it enough so that you can’t SMELL my hair.”
“If OP can SMELL her sister’s hair she’s taking it too far.”- FrostyIcePrincess
“SO NTA.”
“She can shampoo and be in your wedding party, or not and not. It’s up to her.”
“Btw, I, too, have very long hair (past my knees) and I’ve struggled with oily scalp throughout my life. I tried that ‘oil-balancing’ thing and all I got for my troubles was seborrheic dermatitis that I still have to manage, years after resuming more frequent washing.”- Frosty_Message_3017
“Long beautiful hair that smells and looks greasy?”
“Do you know the meaning of beautiful?”
“NTA.”- theluchador19
“What?”
“Your sister is a filthy person, that’s disgusting.
“NTA.”- Juls1016
It’s not inaccurate to say that plenty of brides make unreasonable demands.
However, asking one of your bridesmaids to wash her hair so she looks (and smells) presentable on her wedding day is hardly unreasonable.
One imagines that the colleagues and friends of the OP’s sister might also be grateful to see her with clean hair.