We all have things which have sentimental value to us.
In some cases, these things might actually be worth a considerable amount of money.
But more often than not, they’ll likely have little to no monetary value, and we hold onto them for them memories they preserve.
When Redditor AdNO3535435 found out his fiancée sold something belonging to him containing great sentimental value, he was less than pleased.
But concerned he may have overreacted, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA? I flipped out on my fiancèe for selling the gaming chair my brother gifted me to pay for her gym membership.”
The OP first shared with readers a loss he recently suffered, and precious memento which was left to him.
“I (m[ale] 33) lost my 27-year-old brother to cancer a couple of months ago.”
“We were so close and had a lot in common.”
“He was a gamer and had all types of gaming gear including a gaming chair that he wanted me to have before he died.”
“It’s devastating because we were really hoping and had plans to spend Christmas 2021 together.”
“This chair I consider special because it was my brother’s favorite of all gear and it reminds me of him whenever I sit in it (I don’t play anymore).”
“It just brings me closer to him to a degree I can not explain and it brings me so much comfort.”
The OP then revealed how his fiancé had recently been struggling financially, but seemed to find a solution to her problems, by sneaking behind his back.
“I keep the chair in my office and days ago I found out that my fiancée who has been out of job and complaining about no longer being able to attend the gym took the chair and sold it online to be able to pay for her next month’s gym membership.”
“When I found out I flipped out hugely and had a very negative reaction.”
“She told me that she was desperate for money and after selling all she had she had no choice but to sell the chair.”
“I reminded her of who this chair belongs to but she said I already have tons of keepsakes from my brother and so I shouldn’t act like it was the end of the world.”
“She also vented about her past eating disorders and her anxiety when it comes to keeping fit and claimed I was dismissing that she is struggling.”
“I yelled at her and called her inconsiderate and selfish and told her she should have never ever took and sold any of my stuff for a gym membership when she literally could have kept working out from home.”
“She started crying as we argued then she went to stay with her mom who tried to give me a stern talk about my attitude and but I didn’t answer that and haven’t been talking to my fiancée since then.”
“Things haven’t got better and I got called overdramatic for reacting and treating my fiancée like that over a gaming chair.”
“I feel guilty because I’ve never yelled at her in my life before.”
“AITA?”
“Was I too hard on her?”
“Some said I went overboard because this is a gaming chair and it was bit childish of me to make a fuss over it but I already explained why I had this reaction aside from the fact that money is an issue we already have.”
The OP was open about the guilt this whole experience had caused him, and how his fiancée tried to express how she would have reacted if the roles were reversed.
B”ecause I feel like I should add more of her side to the conflict: she told me if say I was struggling and needed money and sold some item she had then she wouldn’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not sure, since I’d never do such thing, but still she insisted that no matter what I do she’ll always be supportive and understanding just like I should be supportive and understanding of her struggle right now.”
“That made me feel horrible because she had a breakdown and cried because of me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situtaion by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Redditors were firmly in agreement that the OP was not at all the a**hole, and had every right to be furious that his fiancée sold the chair without consulting with him first.
Some felt the OP should put his fiancée’s claim that she would support his doing the same thing with something of hers, and see how she really felt.
“NTA.”
“Sell the engagement ring you bought her and buy back your brothers gaming chair.”
“Proceed based on her reaction to that.”- JammerGSONC
Some Redditors even pointed out that as the chair did not technically belong to the OP’s fiancée, the chair was technically stolen property and thus was still rightfully his.
“NTA Call the person who brought the chair and tell him that he’s brought stolen property.”
“If your fiancée still refuses to do anything about getting it back then you may need to report it to the police as stolen and get it returned to you that way.”
“Your fiancée? knew exactly what she was doing and has shown that she doesn’t care about your property, the meaning behind the gift of it, and who it belonged to.”
“Your fiancées old enough to know that her actions can have consequences and she can now face them and too bad if her consequences are of the legal kind due to her theft.”- G8RTOAD.
Other’s felt that the way his fiancée behaved was telling of who she really was as a person, and the OP should seriously reconsider his relationship.
“Run bro.”
“You need to get out of there.”
“Your girl is a narcissist and disregards your thoughts and feelings.”
“A gym membership??”
“Really?”
“Only way that would fly with me would be if she sold it for insulin or some other life maintaining medication.”
“NTA.”- snakepeterman.
“Nta.”
“I know you’re probably still grieving your loss, but she has some serious issues.”
“Lack of respect for your stuff and from what you provided even tried to gaslight you into thinking you’re over reacting.”
“If it is not too late, call it off imho.”- TGiR4.
“NTA! “
“The chair was obviously super meaningful to you and for her to just sell it without your permission?”
“Not okay! “
“Also not sure where you live or any other factors that could explain why she’s not working, but where I’m living EVERYWHERE is hiring.”
“Literally everywhere.”
“The fact that she took it to sell for a gym membership is out of control.”
“I would have some serious reservations about marrying her if this is how she handles money.”-sharpeea.
The numerous comments urging him to call off the wedding led the OP to clarify that it wasn’t only financial issues his fiancée suffers from.
“Thing is she has mental issues that she blames on me sometimes saying I’m not being supportive and understanding just because I point out what she does wrong and don’t let things slide like she expects me to.”
“Of all things I have that belong to my brother, this chair is my favorite and she knew that but claimed it was just there in my office and denied that I even sit on it.”
“The work issue and her inability to work is lack of commitment due to mental health issues.”
This is a very sad and serious situation for everyone involved.
It would be in the best interest of the OP and his fiancée to have several, serious discussions before their wedding, as there is clearly a lot that needs to be talked about.