in , ,

Formerly Obese Person Sparks Family Drama By Cutting Dinner Portion Mom Gave Them In Half

Lucy Lambriex/GettyImages

Everyone’s weight and health is a very personal issue.

In this day and age where we are at last accepting all types of body shapes and sizes, we still have a long way to go for equal acceptance.

We can find a way.

If we want to.

Case in point…

Redditor ShiftDry9280 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for cutting my portion sizes in half at the dinner table after being served heaping portions by my mom?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Growing up, my family and I were all fat.”

“They never taught me about good nutrition, portion sizes, and the only exercise I got was gym class.”

“So of course, I was used to all this, right?”

“Especially since a lot of my friends were the same.”

“When I went to college I was exposed to a lot of new things.”

“And I learned quickly that my family’s habits weren’t healthy.”

“For years they always said the weight was genetic.”

“When I’d go to lunch with my friend group at the dining hall I started noticing that my portion sizes were huge against theirs.”

“I cut down my portions and I’d join them doing Yoga and stuff.”

“Naturally I ended up losing some weight.”

“Like size 22 to tight size 12.”

“I really like the way I look, you can see my collarbones!”

“But I ended up having to go back home during summer break and I’ve been surprised at just how different I feel from my family.”

“When we would order pizzas 2 years ago we’d basically each get our own and it would be gone that night.”

“We had pizza night when I got home and I ate 2 slices and that was it.”

“Last week my mom made her special lasagna.”

“I made a side salad to go with it.”

“She always plates the meals and then sets the big dish in the middle so we can have more.”

“Well the piece she gave me was way too big.”

“So I cut it in half and served myself more salad.”

“My sister immediately got on my case about how rude that was to Mom because she worked hard on the lasagna.”

“I said that I couldn’t eat that much food in one sitting and she scoffed and said that didn’t used to be a problem.”

“I said yes but if you can’t tell, things have changed a little.”

“She got in my face and said that I brought my college bull home with me and I should have left it at the door and ate like a normal person.”

“I told her that I was eating like a normal person, that everyone I knew at school eats like this and that we’re the abnormality.”

“That’s it’s not normal to be so stuffed at the table until you’re in pain.”

“My brother chimed in saying that I’d just gain the weight back so stop pretending I’m better than they are.”

“But I don’t think I am at all.”

“I’m no better than anyone.”

“But I also don’t think I’m wrong for sticking to smaller portions instead of being stuffed all the time.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA. You do you.”

“You can tell your mom that the food is delicious without eating 3 servings.”

“And you can tell your brother and sister to pound sand.”  ~ AnonRandThrowaway

“They are extremely jealous and are trying to force OP back into the fat fold.”

“They don’t LIKE it that she’s lost weight because it shows that it’s NOT genetics and they are a bunch of gluttons who want to keep you down with them.”

“How DARE you change for the better?”

“You are supposed to still be exactly like them and brother blames it on college.”

“Extra jealous?”

“Rather than the fact that your family lies about being fat and want you to stay that way to make them feel better. NTA.”  ~ babcock27

“Also, lasagna is still delicious the next day or it can go into the freezer.”

“There’s no need to force it down all at once.”  ~ tellmeyourstocktips

“OP said in her family and neighbourhood eating excessively is completely normal and it’s been drilled into them that their weight issues are purely genetic.”

“So it seems the siblings genuinely believe they are eating in the correct way and that OP is starving herself or something.”

“OP isn’t an a** at all but I wouldn’t come down on kids who’ve been taught disordered eating from infancy by their family/community.”

“Hopefully, once they get out of this bonkers environment, they can have some personal growth too, like OP did. NAH.”  ~ starchy2ber

“I feel like if they really thought OP had developed an eating disorder, they’d react more with concern than rage.”

“Their aggressive reaction indicates to me that they associate not overeating with snobbishness and are trying to bring her down a peg.”

“And even if they really are worried and are just expressing it badly, I’d still go with NTA.”

“Their lashing out, for whatever reason, is mean.”  ~ la_bibliothecaire

“NTA. My story is exactly like yours.”

“I grew up overweight from a young age.”

“My parents let me eat mac ‘n cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, chips and fries.”

“I was ‘too picky’ for any thing else.”

“As an adult Im really resentful cuz what kind of adult lets their kid eat a whole bag of lays potato chips REGULARLY and them shame the kid for being fat?”

“I have tried everything.”

“We did over eaters anon, gym daily, salads daily, and I was still fat.”

“Saw some progress but never a lot.”

“When I went vegan my also overweight boyfriend said he didn’t even know who I was anymore.”

“He insulted me and called me weak and fat still when I went to the gym.”

“Sometimes other fat people see some one trying and get defensive of their own laziness.”

“Weight-loss is hard and no one should feel shamed or pressured into it.”

“But damn don’t shame people just cuz they’re trying and you’re not.”

“Someone else’s weight-loss journey is not an insult to your current body.”  ~ Wizzardaniu

“OP NTA all the way!”

“However, stay positive and on track with your healthy ways – after their initial attacks, your family might be inspired by you.”

“You clearly understand that their complaints about your new eating goals is not at all about you.” ~ No_Acanthisitta3596

“Sister noticed op having a reasonable size portion and noticed how much she had and fully intended to consume and felt bad.”

“But instead of dealing with it she went to make herself feel better by attacking OP.”

“Once she gets out of the house and notices how other ‘other half’ live she may too decide to make some changes.”

“Don’t take it personally though, it’s not about you no matter what she says.”  ~ Novel_Fox

“This is terrible. And the shitty part is, it can go either way.”

“I used to get shamed by my dad for reaching for the bread basket at dinner or for ordering something other than a salad when we went out.”

“NTA, OP. your family is doing some weird insecure projection crap that you absolutely do not have to subscribe to.”  ~ picklepowerPB

“NTA at all. Your sibling’s behavior is toxic.”

“There is nothing disrespectful about eating less than the portion you are given.”

“Especially when you are not consulted about what kind of size portion you want before being served.”

“Being forced to or expected to ‘clean your plate’ because someone else cooked is one of many unhealthy habits that some adults enforce on children.”

“And it’s even worse when the portions they’re forcing are bigger than necessary.”

“A whole pizza per person is entirely ridiculous.”

“Everyone is entitled to decide what and how much to eat but your family’s habits are beyond unhealthy.”

“You weren’t trying to show off the changes in your eating habits.”

“You were simply choosing how much to eat from what is at the table, you’re perfectly entitled to that.”

“Your sister and brother are simply threatened by your weight loss and overall lifestyle changes and they’re picking petty fights to put you down.”

“Ignore them. And keep doing you.” ~ Jolly_Tooth_7274

“I too was a victim of the large portion sizes and clean your plate rule.”

“Except I would just skip lunch because that was the only way I could finish my food.”

“Otherwise I’d be stuck at the table until bedtime.”

“Sad thing was it was my stepmother’s rule who had anorexia and would constantly say my step sisters and I were too skinny (we were teenagers so no shit we were smaller than her).”

“So major jealousy and projection.”

“I really think people need to start fixing their issues with food before popping out kids.”  ~ penny-fed-car

OP, Reddit is with you.

You’re allowed to choose your food.

You’re allowed to choose your body size.

Maybe some family therapy is in order.