Yixing teapots are traditional, unglazed teapots from Jiangsu province in China. Handcrafted pots are slab built—not thrown on a potters wheel or in a mold. The pots range in color from the most common purple to red, yellow, and green based on the iron content, other minerals, and varying firing temperatures.
Teapots made from this clay are prized for enhancing tea flavor through a porous, heat-retaining body or bowl. The pots absorb tea aromas and flavors over time in a seasoning process similar to a cast iron frying pan.
And like an antique cast iron pan, yixing teapots require special care.
A person who was once the proud owner of an authentic yixing teapot turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
TeapotthrwoCity4661 asked:
“AITA, my friend ruined my yixing teapot and I want her to replace it or give me 500 dollars?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“When I went to China, I bought myself a yixing teapot. This is a clay unglazed pot that gets ‘seasoned’ the more you make tea in it. Kinda like a cast iron pan. Since it is unglazed you can not wash it with soap, or any rough sponges.”
“You clean it by using hot water and then you let it air dry. Nothing else.”
“This is the issue—I left for a work trip and my friend watched my cat. I paid her. I told her she can use ‘anything in the kitchen’.”
“I had two kettles in the kitchen—one for on the stove and one for brewing in—and tea sitting out on the counter next to one of them.”
“My yixing teapot is not in the kitchen, and neither are any of my fancy loose-leaf teas for it. I have a normal kettle in the kitchen for guests to use.”
“I came back and found the yixing teapot in my sink and it smells like soap. It also has multiple scratches on the inside.”
“I called her up and she told me she used it because she loved the tea I make with it. She then washed it with a rough wire sponge and used soap. She didn’t know where my sponges were and didn’t want to put it in the dishwasher.”
“I tried to fix it and I couldn’t, anything in it comes out with the taste of soap and the scratches are just getting bigger with every boil I try.”
“It’s ruined. I called her up and asked her to replace it since she ruined it. She told me to just clean it and I told her I have tried. She agreed and I sent her the link to the teapot from the same store I bought mine from that was most similar—it’s actually cheaper then the one I bought in China.”
“It is about 500 dollars. She called me pissed after I sent her the link, and is refusing to pay for it. She claims I should have told her not to use it.”
“I pointed out that it was behind glass in another room, not in my kitchen, and I didn’t think I needed to. I asked her to pay again and she is pissed.”
“Should I just cut my losses?”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“AITA for asking my friend to pay me 500 dollars for a teapot she ruined? I could be a d*ck for asking her to pay that much even though that is what it costs.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“I’m saying NTA because it was enclosed in a glass case. AND you made an alternative available.”
“…I have lots of expensive items, most of us do.”
“Do I have to make a list of all the expensive things I don’t want a pet sitter to use? Goodness, I just can’t. You’re not the a**hole.” ~ AllThatSparklesInMe
“No reasonable person is going into someone else’s CHINA cabinet where nice dishes/appliances not of ordinary use are literally on display… but here we are. NTA.” ~ SnooPuppers85
“If I told someone to help themselves to anything in my kitchen, then I came home and found out that they scrubbed the gilt edging off of my good plates, I would expect them to replace it.”
“I have a tonne of everyday plates, they go in the dishwasher, they are stored in a more convenient location, and you have to go out of your way to find my grandmother’s china. NTA.” ~ Dry_Prompt3182
“OP is NTA on this one. It wasn’t in the kitchen, my guess is it was on display based on the ‘behind glass’ part of the comment.”
“I get the friend really liked the tea OP made, and I don’t actually blame the friend all that much for wanting tea, and it sounds like they treated it like a mid-quality porcelain teapot (no dishwasher, yikes on the abrasive sponge though) but…”
“At the end of the day, the friend used and damaged something. They absolutely should pay to replace it with something of comparable quality.” ~ slash_networkboy
“Yixing teapots can be more personal than a sex toy. I’ve got several, but my daily driver has been with me for decades.”
“It getting ruined would have a significant impact on my mental health, as it’s part of a daily ritual and makes my favorite tea taste significantly better than when it’s brewed in any other vessel.”
“Even buying a similar quality pot, seasoned with the same type of tea, won’t taste the same. It’s completely irreplaceable. It represents your journey as much as it is about making tea.” ~ ImpossibleInternet3
“NTA. The people here who think she couldn’t have known, need to use some basic common sense and I wouldn’t trust any of them in my home.”
“Who takes an item out from a GLASS DISPLAY CASE‽‽ Then uses a WIRE BRUSH ON IT‽‽”
“I don’t care what the item is. There is no world where you take an item out of a display case and use a metal wire brush on it.”
“I cannot think of a single item that could be behind a glass display case that I would wire brush. Even if I saw a rusty kitchen knife behind a glass display, I wouldn’t wire brush it and that’s something nominally appropriate to use a metal cleaning tool on.” ~ SaneForCocoaPuffs
“It’d be like someone going into the hutch in your dining room, taking your gold-trimmed china (no pun intended) that you got as a wedding gift, and running it through the dishwasher.”
“And then being like, ‘What? You’ve fed me a meal off of it before, so I figured I could do what I wanted with it’.”
“Crazy-making. NTA.” ~ FreeFortuna
“My partner and I had someone checking on our cats once when we went out of town for a few days. Told the person they could help themselves to snacks or drinks from the fridge.”
“Instead of getting a regular glass out of the kitchen cabinet, he rummaged around in our liquor cabinet and used a Waterford crystal tumbler that we received as a wedding gift to drink a glass of milk.”
“I know he did this because he left the dirty glass on the coffee table, and it was still there when we got home.” ~ 20tacotuesdays
“As a person familiar with yixing teapots, they are delicate and thin-walled enough in appearance that I would not expect a reasonable person to consider using anything more than maybe water for a rinse-out. I mean, it’s brown inside; tea isn’t going to stain it. It’s a pity the two of you never discussed it while you were enjoying tea together.”
“NTA for being pissed your lovely pot has been ruined. I don’t want to call you the AH for wanting a replacement due to the overstepping incompetence of your friend, but asking for that amount is probably going to leave you choosing between replacing a precious utility object you enjoyed together (drinking tea), or the person you enjoyed it with.” ~ Vera_Telco
“Exactly, ‘use everything in the kitchen!’ also implies, to me, that anything NOT in the kitchen is not mine to use. Why would the friend NEED super fancy tea while OP was gone? If you really want tea, use the stuff in the kitchen!”
“They liked the tea OP made in it… did the OP not explain ONCE during one of these tea days, even a little bit about how special this specific pot was? If it were me, I’d be telling all my friends twice over how cool and special this pot was, and the proper way to use it.”
“So did the friend not listen or care? I find it hard to believe OP kept the lore about this really cool piece completely under wraps.”
“Either way, the friend was and still is incredibly disrespectful.” ~ thavwrecka
Now OP needs to decide which is more important to them, their teapot or this friendship.
Although their friend also needs to decide the same thing.