Your neighbors can do a surprising amount to make your life difficult. While it’s best if you get along with your community, some people are just looking for a reason to get upset.
Redditor AggressiveDinner4458 isn’t sure if they’re being petty or have a legitimate grievance with their neighbors. After the cops were called, the original poster (OP) was even more worried.
To find out if they did something wrong, OP decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subreddit about the situation.
They just want to wear their dresses.
“AITA for doubling down on weird dresses to piss off my neighbors”
So what are the neighbors’ problems?
“I am a cosplayer and prop maker, Bio male but ID as genderfluid. I recently became comfortable enough with who I was to begin presenting as Fem in public when I wish too.”
“My fem style is a mix of some ‘normal’ Cloths but mainly alot of what could be called weird and quricky outfits. I have a paticular love for Ren Fair style dresses.”
“A few weeks ago a neighbor knocks on my door to tell me that me wearing dresses is confussing his christian kids and I need to stop it. Got a whole lecture about how hes not a bad guy becuase he thinks I should be able to do what ever I want in the privcy of my home, just not in the streets.”
“So in my typical anti-social I dont give a f*** style. I told him to f*** off ill do what I want and slamed the door in this face.”
“Now more neighbors have come foward with concerns. My solution was to double down on the werid dresses. Now I will where an apron dress out side when im painting props and pretty much anytime I am out of my house and have freetime.”
“I am in a some dress and wig now.”
“This naturaly has pissed the concerned neighbors off enough that they called the cops on me. While I was loading props in my car for a show today.”
“The reason I am wondering if AITA is unexpectly the cops were on their side. They said I am only trying to provoke the neighbors now. Which a i guess on some level is true.”
“So hit me with it reddit. What do you think”
On one hand, what OP does shouldn’t be his neighbor’s business. He can wear dresses and if they kids see it, it’s not like it hurts them. But on the other hand, OP doubled down and got petty, by his own admission.
Should OP have stopped?
On Reddit, the users of the board judged OP for wearing ‘weird’ dresses despite being asked not to by his neighbors by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The neighbor never should have asked in the first place. While they’re entitled to raise their children with the belief that people like OP shouldn’t wear dresses, that doesn’t give them the right to dictate that to OP.
OP doubling down isn’t even an issue. They should be allowed to wear dresses if that makes them comfortable.
The board easily decided that OP was NTA.
“NTA”
“Next time a neighbor complains that you are confusing his kids, maybe you can let him know that if he brings the kids over, you will be happy to explain everything to them and answer all of their questions.”
“Also, what is your crime rate that the police have time to follow up on a call that a person is outside wearing a funny dress? Does nothing actually bad ever happen in your town?” – lisaliselisa
“Very small town so other then a few speeding tickets and some theift here and there there isnt really alot of cry.”
“I offten wonder if the cops here spend more time harrseing people over thier grass then anything else” – AggressiveDinner4458 (OP)
“NTA ‘confusing their Christian kids.’ That’s rich.”
“You do you, and be you proudly. Unless you’re going outside exposed or naked, there’s nothing anyone can do about what you wear.” – Holy UnicornBatman
“They’re the ones confusing their kids, not OP. Jesus said love your neighbour. Not love your neighbour only if they’re conforming to your narrow mind.”
“Kid asks why is that man wearing a dress, here’s your chance to say, because they want to, it’s who they are, and they’re not hurting anyone. But that would require actually following Christ’s ideals like a real real Christian.” – lenny_ray
“NTA. Not surprised cops side with neighbors like that but legally you’re not doing anything wrong. Being yourself and dressing yourself isn’t illegal.”
“Hell, if it were me, I’d ramp it up. Reaaaallly get those kids asking their parents questions they’re uncomfortable answering” – pnb10
“NTA – I never understood why clothes have to be so limited to one gender or the other. Who cares as long as you’re not flashing your private bits about.”
“You wear what you want although don’t let the neighbors egg you into wearing your nice dress while painting, you don’t want to ruin it. Maybe a Rosie the riveter look would fit that better: wig, beautiful hair wrap, cute coveralls cinched at the waist, and comfortable heels to complete the outfit but support your arches.” – Sweetsmyle
“NTA That’s a bad cop. If you live where there’s laws against indecent exposure, as long as any bits you have are covered you’re fine. If they don’t want their kids wearing those clothes, they can chose not to buy similar for them, but if they don’t want to see their kids to see them, they can make like Jesus and pluck out their eyes.”
“This does sound like it could become a physically unsafe situation for you. I would recommend getting a video doorbell to record any other ‘talks’ with your neighbors come over to have at your doorway, and having it send to you and a friend. Just in case something happens.” – Lily-of-Thorns
“NTA. I am struggling to understand how these ‘neighbors’ have the time to be monitoring your coming and going and what you are wearing. Do they not have jobs and a life?”
“If they were busy minding their own business, they would not have time to worry about what you are wearing or doing.”
“That is the problem with some of these ‘Christians’. They actually have forgotten the phrase ‘judge not lest ye be judged’.”
“I have lived here in my house for about 6 yrs now and I can’t tell you what most of my neighbors are wearing, nor do I care. Because I mind my own business and stay out of theirs.”
“BTW…. I would now make my outfits in hot colors with mini skirts and crop tops. Lmao” – KittKatt7179
OP isn’t the one at fault, and if anything, they shouldn’t have been harassed by the police either.
It’s likely the kids didn’t even care until the neighbor made a big stink.
“I sincerely doubt that it’s the kids who are confused. The kids are playing video games and hanging with their friends.”
“It’s the adults with the ‘life has to go my way’ attitude you have confounded. You sound creative and fabulous. It would be fun to have you in my neighborhood!” – wavewalker59-
“One of the little girls a while back yelled from there playground thing that she liked my pretty dress. So i kind of thought the same thing.”
“I very much as a person just want to be left alone to make cool things in life so I havent had alot of interactions with anyone around here. But I figured it was the adults who had more of the issue” – AggressiveDinner4458 (OP)
“I am betting these children are asking to dress like you and parent is upset that child wants to be non binary in dressing.”
“This is like when I offered to teach all the neighborhood kids to knit. The girls all learned with no issue but a parent asked me to decline to teach their sons.”
“I told them that would not do that as all of my sons know how to knit and knitting has helped them with the need for a fidget in school. They use knitting is a fidget but with a finished product.” – KSknitter
“NTA, do you have social media?? I wish to follow you and support you!” – RavenDragneel98
“Yes, I have been working to be better at keeping it updated now that I am doing more professional prop work in theater but I am still kind of suck at the updates”
“https://www.instagram.com/little_workshop_of_horrors/” – AggressiveDinner4458 (OP)
“NTA hit me up with you address or an Amazon wishlist because I would LOVE to purchase your beautiful self and beautiful soul a dress 😁 f*ck them. They sound like my neighbors 🤮”
– Big-Pumpkin-484
“Thats amazeingly sweet! but you dont have to do anything like that. I am over welmed by the out pour of support in this comment section. Thank you!” – AggressiveDinner4458 (OP)
OP may want to look into ways they can be protected legally if the police show up. And should worse come to worse, maybe see how they can be protected physically.