Envy and jealousy don’t only exist within the context of relationships. They can be applied to anything within the human experience.
What usually defines them is a blindness and a consuming feeling that will have you lashing out, no matter what it’s about.
Reddit user AITATstolenvacay found himself the reception of his sister’s jealousy; regarding a “vacation” he took with his significant other to see her sick mother in Europe. The conversation between the two got ugly.
Unsure how to really handle this delicately, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or AITA for some feedback on how he already set a boundary.
He asked:
“AITA For ‘Stealing’ My Sister’s dream Vacation?”
Our original poster, or OP, set up his relationship with his teenage sister.
“So a bit of background: My sister (15) and I (27, male) have not been close mostly due to the age gap and me having a so-so relationship with my parents.”
“She is also extremely into ancient Greece, Greece and anything to do with that kind of thing.”
“She is also extremely spoiled(e.g. she got a car as soon as she got her permit, yes her permit).”
“I am also in a relationship with my girlfriend (28) for 4 years and she is half Greek (her mother lives there). Okay so now onto the issue.”
OP’s sister and OP’s mom unexpectedly got on his case surrounding a trip with his girlfriend.
“My gf’s mother had been hospitalized last week, and my gf and I are supposed to leave on Saturday to go see her.”
“I love the woman and see her as my own mother(she lived her in the states until 2 years ago when she had to go back to Greece due to family issues).”
“So as I’m packing yesterday to leave I get a ft call from my sister. When she sees me packing she tries to start giving me a lecture on traveling during this time.”
“I quickly shut her down and said I’m packing to go to Greece to see my gf’s mom because she is sick. She hung up almost immediately. I thought nothing of it and continued getting ready.”
“So fast forward to today morning where I get a call from my mother yelling at me about ‘stealing’ my sister’s dream vacation.”
OP had NO time for this.
“Apparently they promised her that they would take her to Greece for her 16th birthday and now I’m ruining it for her as she doesn’t get to go there first?”
“I was just tired of listening to her rant for 10 mins so I just told her to call me when she learns what the hell is actually going on.”
“Now I’m getting texts from my entire family threatening to disown me saying I’m an a**hole, ungrateful and some more nasty stuff.”
“So AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors could not see how OP could even think he was at fault.
“If sister thinks that traveling to Greece to visit a beloved, sick acquaintance during a pandemic is a ‘dream vacation’ and parents-relatives back her up, maybe OP is better off low to no contact.”
“NTA, OP. Even if you were leaving for an actual vacation.”~MeiSuesse
“Reading this post filled me with disgust. op is going to see the mother of the woman he love dearly because she’s sick and in a terrible place right now and the f**king sister is uspet because he’s going to greece first?”
“What the actual f**k?! This is no vacation and This is beyond entitlement. The sister has no empathy or compassion. NTA op”~monster_zero_
“Yup, currently living here and there’s really not much to do.”
“Not even sightseeing spots are open, not to mention that since OP is coming here to see his gf’s sick mother it’s not like he’s gonna enjoy the holidays.”
“The situation with covid is really dire, he should be extremely careful.”
“I was actually surprised to see that they are going to visit gf’s mother because in most cases visitation in hospitals isn’t allowed anymore.”
“What’s more, if his sister wants to visit Greece because she likes ancient Greece, she’s in for a really shocking and unpleasant surprise.”
“Adding another NTA just for the sake of it.”~ThrowAMusic
“I think his entire family are the a**holes here. Who gangs up on someone because they are going on a trip to visit a live one.”
“Even if they did know or didn’t know it’s insane to go and harass OP because his spoil entitled sister has everyone under her thumb.”
“Honestly if I was op I would be ok with getting disown only because just dealing with this unwanted stress is just insane.”
“Think about it you can’t buy a house because spoil sister wanted to be the 1st or it was her dream to own a blue house oh well you better paint it or wait till she’s old enough buy one her self.”
“What if she says she wants to be the 1st to give her parents grand babies. Are you supposed to continue to put your life on hold for her crazy request?”
“What if op decided to married his gf who is half Greek will she throw a massive fit because you and kids will have a direct connection to Greece and she will be pissed off because she’s the only one who’s supposed be the only Greek living person in the family.”
“Op should never have to put their lives on hold anyone. Op safe travels and I hope your gf’s mother is ok. Nta”~CODE_NAME_DUCKY
In fact, who is so silly as to think they own Greece?
“Nta, your family needs to learn to stop spoiling your sister, and you’re not going there for a vacation, you’re going to see someone that is hospitalized and is the mother of your partner.”
“You go should low or no contact until they learn how to grow up.”~whitewer
“NTA. Your family is truly insane. You didn’t take Greece away from anyone. And honestly the backstory is irrelevant.”
“Even if your GF was from South Africa – you are allowed to go wherever you want. Your trip does not take away from a future trip she takes. Let your family disown you. They do not sound ok.”~Lovegivingadvice
“NTA. Imagine being so entitled you think you own Greece. Your sister and family are being ridiculous.”
“You are going to visit your girlfriends sick mother. And even if you weren’t and it was just a vacation my answer would still be NTA.”
“You are a grown adult and can go anywhere you damn well please. Greece isn’t going to disappear because you went there first.”~seaturtle3121
“NTA. Your sister’s dream vacation of going to the sickbed of someone you care about during a global pandemic is pretty morbid.”
“Unless that really was her dream, then she really needs to realize that you aren’t having a ‘vacation’ or anywhere close to the experience she would as a tourist in a travel safe time.”~broccolicat
Not to mention this is not in the least bit an enjoyable trip—visiting a sick relative.
“NTA I will have to disagree with some of the advice here.”
“I am willing to bet that neither your sister nor your mother told those relatives your gfs mother is sick. They are depending on you being heartbroken and silent.”
“I am willing to bet your sister told them you also insulted and demeaned her. Do not underestimate her lying capacity.”
“Well don’t be. Tell in graphic details how your gfs mother is sick and how your sister and mother disregarded it and you better expect an apology.”
“Write a sample text and spam it across all those nasty texts you received.”
“People don’t like being deceived at all. This backlash will hit your mom and sister badly. Don’t just play their game and cut everyone off.”~RagdollSeeker
“NTA…I hate to break it to her, but actually billions of people have traveled to Greece before her.”
“It’s not like a first mission to a new planet, it’s a country that established itself as a destination literally thousands of years ago.”~throwaway1975764
“I guess I am an AH too. I’ve been to Greece three times since 2001. The third time for five weeks to many beautiful Cyclades and Ionian islands.”
“I’ve seen the ruins, eaten the foods, swam and snorkelled in the clear blue beaches, enjoyed the sunsets, ridden its ferries and KTEL buses, visited its museums and galleries, been to concerts and clubs there.”
“I’ve seen an old man riding a donkey home at sunset, and an old woman milking her goat by the side of a road in rural Naxos.”
“I’ve walked on both the black AND the red sand beaches on Santorini. I even went to Delphi AND Delos because I am such a greedy philhellenic AH.”
“You can tell your sister that I saw other tourists there, Greece has not saved itself for her – it’s been well used. It’s gotten itself quite the reputation.”
“Sorry for her loss.”~Clatato
“NTA, you’re not even going to Greece for vacation, you’re going there to help your girlfriends ill mother.”
“That’s an entirely different thing, you’re going to be at your girlfriends moms place – not running around sightseeing and having fun.”
“Your parents seriously raised your sister wrong and have spoiled her way too much, and soon enough it’s going to get out of control for everybody involved – and your sister won’t even see her behaviour is wrong, because she was never taught otherwise.”~FreakishNightmare
OP already has to deal with his girlfriend’s family being sick.
Reddit seems to agree that he should focus on that and ignore the foolishness from his own family altogether.
Hopefully he will heed that advice, and the trip will go as well as possible.