Clothing choice is personal.
For some it represents their expression of who they are or how they view themselves. When in a non-traditional relationship, a world where not everyone is accepting can be hard.
However, a line gets crossed when one party in a relationship dictates the other’s self expression.
One Redditor who goes by socialanxietyaita, found themselves in such a situation turning to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for some objective thoughts on the situation.
”AITA for getting my boyfriend’s mom to tell him to stop crossdressing in public?”
The Original Poster (OP) went into further detail about their boyfriend and situation:
“I (23M) have social anxiety. It’s hard for me to go out in public at all because I always feel like people are staring at me.”
“My boyfriend (22M) has been a big supporter of mine and has helped me get to a point where I don’t do that as much, but I’m still not perfect.”
”I won’t talk if it’s quiet and there are people nearby. Our area is pretty conservative, I don’t really feel comfortable being in a gay relationship in public, so we also can’t hold hands/do any kind of PDA. My boyfriend collects vintage clothes.”
”He buys women’s and men’s, but the kind of men’s he likes are hard to find and usually pretty expensive. This quarantine, he decided to get some use out of the women’s clothes and started wearing them around the house. This wasn’t a problem for me.”
“The problem is, he won’t change when we go on walks. Sometimes, I think he can pass as a girl, but sometimes he’ll go out in a full men’s outfit except a poodle skirt with obviously hairy legs underneath.”
“He’s only been harassed about it once so far, but that one time I had a panic attack and got lost, meaning I couldn’t even help him.”
“I’ve stopped going out with him on days he’s wearing traditional women’s clothes (although there aren’t many). I don’t even like him going out alone like that, knowing he can get harassed.”
“When I tell him about how I feel, says he thinks it’s not a big deal and it’s ‘his life’.”
“Anyway, I was talking to his mom and I mentioned it to her, and she called him to know if he’s trans (he’s not) and then started begging him not to do it because she’s worried about him getting harassed again.”
“Now that he’s faced with giving his mom a heart attack, he’s stopped, but he’s upset at me for getting his mom involved.”
”I honestly was just telling her I was worried because I think about it all the time. I didn’t think she would actually do anything.”
The OP made a couple of edits saying:
“I can’t change it in the title, but I changed crossdressing to ‘wearing traditional women’s clothes’ in the post. Sorry if I offended anybody, I didn’t know it was an offensive term.”