When visiting someone else’s home, we all know that there are certain things we just shouldn’t do, like putting our shoes up on the couch or snooping through the host’s things.
But some people really don’t understand that, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor buttFluff000 was surprised when she found out her husband’s brother had looked through their bathroom drawers and proceeded to trim his beard during a party.
But when she found out what he’d trimmed his beard with, the Original Poster (OP) couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for laughing at and embarrassing my BIL (brother-in-law) in front of the entire family?”
The OP agreed to have her sister’s engagement party at her home.
“Yesterday was my sister’s engagement party (she’s marrying my husband’s cousin, funnily enough), and she asked to have the party at our house since we have a huge backyard, and she just wanted something simple, like a BBQ.”
“I, of course, agreed and the start of the day went well. Everyone from both sides of the family mingled, the grill was going, people congratulated the soon-to-be bride and groom, etc.”
But then the OP noticed something strange.
“As everyone was loading their plates up to eat, I noticed my other BIL (my husband’s brother) grabbing a plate, and I paused because I swore he looked different than he did when he showed up.”
“I couldn’t pinpoint why at first, but when he sat down at the table, his mom/my MIL asked him if he’d trimmed his beard.”
“That’s what it was! His beard, which had been sorta bushy when he’d arrived earlier, was now trimmed down and neater.”
“That’s when he looked at me and said he hoped I didn’t mind, but he’d used the trimmer we had in the bathroom to freshen himself up.”
The OP realized what her brother-in-law meant.
“I was confused because my trimmer and my husband’s were both in our connected bathroom, which was off-limits to guests.”
“But then it hit me. HE’D USED THE CAT TRIMMER I KEEP IN THE DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM. The one I use to trim my four VERY fluffy cats’ butt hair and shave off dingle berries to keep them clean.”
“I must have looked just as shocked as I felt, because my husband asked what was wrong, and I ignored him.”
Everyone had a good laugh.
“I asked BIL if he meant he’d used the small white trimmer that had been in the back of the bottom drawer of the bathroom cabinet?”
“BIL flushed a little at being outed for going through our cabinets, I guess. He huffed but confirmed, yes, that one.”
“And y’all… I lost it. I laughed so hard, I thought I might choke. Even typing this out now is hard, because just remembering it is making me laugh again.”
“BIL got p**sed and asked what was so d**n funny.”
“Without thinking I just blurted out what that trimmer is used for.”
“My husband started laughing his a** off, followed by just about everyone on my side of the family, and a good chunk of my husband’s side too.”
“At some point during the laughter, BIL got up and called us all a**holes before storming out.”
The OP got called out for her reaction.
“My MIL tried scolding me for saying that in front of everyone (some of my husband’s family agreed), but my husband shushed her and said he shouldn’t have gone through our stuff.”
“I feel bad for laughing. I could have pulled BIL aside to tell him instead of blurting it out in front of everybody. MIL says I should apologize.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some couldn’t believe the brother-in-law took the moment so hard.
“It’s a great idea to get the measure of him. If you give it to home privately and he has a sense of humor about it, then maybe he’s not as much of an AH as this post makes him seem.”
“NTA, I’m surprised he got so angry myself, I’d have been super embarrassed but then I’d have never ruffled through your drawers to find it either.” – Dennis_Ogre
“I am DYING. This guy hasn’t even married into the family yet, but the legend of ‘DingleBeard’ will follow him wherever he goes…” – SentimentalO
“I wish he would have gone with it. I hope he can in the future. The second a person leans in and takes part in his own stupid, he becomes a mini legend.”
“One of my favorite people from high school popped a boner during a talent show while wearing a dress and lip-syncing Barbara Streisand, of all things.”
“To this day, he tells that story and laughs with everyone about how mortifying it was. I think he is fifty times cooler for being able to do that. Today, he is a wonderful guy and a good father.”
“Self-deprecation is godd**ned attractive.” – derpne13
“NTA. There are ‘responses,’ and then there are ‘reactions.’ You reacted to a situation/information that you couldn’t have prepared yourself a ‘proper response’ for.”
“This reminds me of when my brother helped himself to a particular body wash of mine when we were both visiting my parents. I burst into laughter because it was ‘Summer’s Eve’ (in the labeled, branded bottle) and he got mad I told him at all.”
“He’s not upset at how you handled it, he’s upset his actions were stupid. But he wants to be mad at someone other than himself.”
“You only made it a little easier for him to do that since the reveal was more public, and that’s easy to point to as the ‘wrongdoing.'” – GibbletyGobbletyGoo
Others joked about potential future presents for the brother-in-law.
“NTA at all, but holy crap, that’s funny.”
“Who the h**l goes through someone else’s bathroom cabinets and decides to groom themselves using a trimmer they find?!?”
“I honestly expected it to be a trimmer used for personal bits, so the revelation that the trimmer is used on cat butts was an unexpected turn.”
“I’d buy that guy his own personal trimmer as a birthday or Christmas present, but that might be taking it too far.”
“Or maybe you can get your husband to gift it to him privately so your BIL isn’t humiliated in front of the whole family again.”
“Or… you could address it to him as a gift from your cats.” – dadjokes3evah
“Omg, imagine including a card with pawprints from the cats on it with the trimmer as a gift? Glorious to think about, but I think DingleBeard would lose it over that.” – idkyo13
“‘Please find this purrfect trimmer for your needs. This is so that the next time you want to get a trim, you leave ‘meowt’ of it.'”
“Signed, the kat patrol.” – hamishjoy
“‘BIL:”
“‘I am sorry for my bad manners and indiscretion in revealing to what purpose the clippers you found in our spare bathroom are usually put. I meant no malice.'”
“‘Taking pride in one’s appearance is not shameful or worthy of ridicule. Please accept this peace offering of a pampering package for your beard to soothe any indignity it may have suffered, and to help it look and feel like the cat’s ass a million dollars for your next social event.'”
“In reconciliation, OP.'” – StJudesDespair
“NTA.”
“But if he’s still p**sed, you can get him the trimmer as an apology gift… But it will still be funny.”
“I feel bad for him but you’re still NTA, and I feel like it will be everyone’s favorite story during family reunions in the coming years.”
“‘Hey remember that time when BIL…'” – islandgirl0692
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a mini-update.
“No, we’re not going to be gifting BIL a shaver. That’s funny as a joke but not to actually do.”
“BIL did clean up after himself save for a few bits that got on the floor.”
“And I’ve decided I’ll call BIL tomorrow so we can talk.”
After talking to her brother-in-law, the OP shared another update.
“Okay, my BIL came over today to talk and I was worried he’d still be upset, but he wasn’t!”
“It turns out he DOES have a girlfriend, and when he told her about it (looking for sympathy, I think), she instead laughed at him and told him that’s the risk of using strange razors without permission first.”
“He apologized for going through our drawers and said he was actually looking for some baby powder. Turns out he was, uh, chaffing from the heat (to be honest, it was hot as h**l the day of the party, so it’s understandable) and he was too embarrassed to ask us if we had any.”
“I know everyone said not to and he deserved it, but I still apologized for laughing at him and blurting what the razor was for out loud like that.”
“He said it was fine, and he knows now he kinda had it coming.”
“The best part was he asked to take a picture with one of my cats, and I agreed, and he posted it to Facebook with the caption, ‘I’ve never felt closer to my SIL’s cats,’ which had me and my husband dying laughing.”
“It seems he was just hurt at the moment but after a day of thinking, he decided to let it go and just roll with what he knows will be a big joke for who knows how long.”
“So that’s the update, everyone! BIL and I are good.”
While the subReddit could agree that bursting out laughing might have been the wrong reaction in hindsight, the onus of the problem was still on the brother-in-law for snooping. Had he asked for trimmers, or better prepared himself before arriving at the party, he wouldn’t have been the ‘butt’ of such a public joke.