Every relationship has it’s compromises.
The longer you’re together, the more we learn about our partner’s… quirks.
Some quirks can be seen as endearing, others… not so much.
It all depends on your level of tolerance.
Case in point…
Redditor Expensive-Spinach369 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for being concerned that my (32 Male ) girlfriend (28 Female) walks naked in front of her brothers and father?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“We’ve been together for a couple of months.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary until we went to spend two weeks with her family for her parents renew of vows.”
“The second morning after we arrived, we do the deed in her old bed.”
“When we’re done she says she’s going to go grab a bite to eat, gets up in her birthday suit and walks down the stairs.”
“I assumed every was asleep or went out until I go downstairs and see her three brothers (age 19 to 32) on the couch playing video games.”
“And her father at the table reading on his Ipad.”
“No one seems to notice whatsoever as if it’s just a regular event.”
“When she does turns around and sees my face fully pale she just says…’ hey you want some toast?'”
“When we go back to our bedroom I asked her about it and she says that she’s always done this since she’s a kid and everyone except her mom does it.”
“I tried to have a conversation about it explaining how it is weird, but she rolled her eyes and said… ‘you see me naked all the time what’s the problem!?!'”
“She then proceed to call me jealous and walk out her room (still naked).”
“I spoke to her mother later during the day and she said that she stopped fighting with her a long time ago about this.”
“That she’s just doing what her siblings are doing.”
“I talked to her older brother too who said that he doesn’t really care.”
“That’s his sister and jokingly says… ‘it’s not like I find her attractive or anything don’t worry about bud.'”
“I have one more week up here. I am so uncomfortable about this.”
“To me, it’s super weird and my GF has noticed that I’m flustered about it, but doesn’t seem to bat an eye.”
“So, Am I The Asshole here?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. I’d bail honestly.”
“(Downvote me you weird brother fools.)”
“No matter how much people on Reddit try to convince me that it’s not weird for adult siblings to hang out naked, it is. Super weird.” ~ Rosscarter0816
“Yep! I’m so tired of AITA acting like it’s normal to be naked just because bodies aren’t sexual by nature.”
“As if clothes don’t exist for a reason.”
“I’d love to see all the people who claim that to take their clothes off and walk around naked and see how that goes for them.” ~ simmiegirl
“I do walk around naked in my own home.”
“Just not with guests and not around my family. My family is full of creeps.”
“It would be dangerous. Forcing nudity on others is also rude.”
“I don’t like clothing for sensory reasons but I am not going to be rude.”
“If I an autistic adult can figure out the nuance? It’s unreasonable to not.”
“Bodies are sexual by nature. Shouldn’t be to family but let’s get real.”
“Queen Elizabeth married a first cousin. That’s family.”
“Essentially while I love being naked it’s unrealistic and unreasonable to expect others to think and feel like me.”
“It is respectful to wear clothes around others.” ~ FirebirdWriter
“This is the part that bothers me. People are allowed to do whatever they want.”
“Be naked. But once someone shows they’re uncomfortable, and asks you to stop? You stop.”
“You are naked. You are forcing your naked body on them.”
“That’s a crime if you’re outside of the house.”
“Take one step out that door and it becomes public indecency?”
“Why is it different inside?” ~ ashwhenn
A bit later OP returned to update…
“Edit: I didn’t go to her mother to complain.”
“Her mom saw me being s bit awkward and distraught and decided to talk to me and her bother picky-backed on the conversation.”
“Also, they are not nudist.”
“They will wear clothing if there’s guests (except her when I’m here apparently).”
“But her Aunt and Uncle came later and she was still naked until her Mom threw a fit.”
Thoughts? Reactions?
“Honestly, just looking at how the question is phrased: OP asks if he’s the asshole for being ‘concerned,’ and of course he’s entitled to his opinion.”
“And of course somebody would be weirded out by that if they weren’t used to it.”
“He never tells his girlfriend that she can’t do that, just brings it up in passing.”
“She’s the one who gets super offended and pouts about it.”
“So no, hard NTA, because OP is literally being vilified for ‘looking uncomfortable’ with something that society… generally sees as uncomfortable.”
“Even if it got to the point where he decided to leave the relationship because of this he would be NTA, but it’s not even in contention.”
“In no world is he even remotely close to being wrong – sure, it would be polite to mask that he’s uncomfortable.”
“But given that he just learned about this, it’s probably hard for him to act nonchalant.”
“Masking an emotion is a learned and deliberate behavior, and he hasn’t exactly had time to process.” ~ KnowledgeableBench
“Even as a person who usually falls into the ‘super liberal’ category, this is hella weird.”
“I’m all for equality in terms of being topless in situations where it’s appropriate/where it’s historically been socially acceptable for men to go topless.”
“And I’m all for friends being open about their bodies and being cool hanging out with less clothes on platonically in private.”
“But there is a line, and hanging out in front of your grown family without panties on absolutely crosses that line.” ~ miaaaa664
“Your body, your choice! Yeahhhhh!”
“Not at the expense of your partner being massively uncomfortable, though.”
“What’s more important? Being freshly sexed and nude in front of your dad and brothers, or your relationship?”
“Also. How do you feel comfortable sitting on any surface in that house knowing butt cheeks and testicles and vaginas have just lounged all over it before you?” ~ MerryE
“NAH.”
“She’s been doing this with her family for almost 30 years now and despite her mother saying she has stopped fighting about it.”
“It doesn’t seem to be a big concern in her family.”
“You said it yourself, everyone is acting like they’re used to it.”
“On the other hand, I can see how jarring that would be to you.”
“It’s not normal for you, but it’s normal for her.”
“Honestly no a**holes here, though it was kind of rude of her to say you’re jealous which was just unnecessary.” ~ Zombie2720
“NTA.”
“Not only is it super weird as everyone has mentioned, but it’s also weird that she’s acting shocked that YOU think it’s weird.”
“You’ve only been together for a few months, you can’t be the first guy she’s brought around the family and who has experienced this.”
“I can’t imagine that you’re the first guy to speak up.”
“Also, let’s say we can put aside the fact that she had a different upbringing, which I can’t but let’s say we can.”
“The aunt and uncle is a whole different thing.”
“Sorry, but no. This is really, really strange.” ~ Sapphire_Bombay
And there is more…
“Edit 2: After spending the day here, a lot of family members came, we had lots of fun they were happy meeting me.”
“She however, was sour most of the time until her Aunt asked her why she was pouting.”
“The conversation started and everyone in the family does that.”
“Only 2-3 members (2 related and 1 married in) stated that they weren’t comfortable, but they don’t mind it so much when it’s only smile.”
“Overall everyone took my side (which she didn’t like) they agreed that it’s normal for them, but for someone who’s new it may be uncomfortable.”
“Her aunt simply suggested for her to wear something light until we’re more comfortable with each other.”
“Which seemed to irritate her.”
“Personally after having spent time with the family, I’ve come to understand it better.”
“And although I might feel awkward to see the rest of the family naked (I have only seen the father naked by accident he forgot I was here ran and put on shorts) I am no longer bothered.”
“My GF however has been passive aggressive the whole evening and seem to think that I’m shaming/trying to control her.”
“I am in no way asking her to change, but she seem shortsighted on the situation.”
“Or maybe she’s upset that her family took my side.”
“Anyway, this whole situation has been an eye opener on her character.”
“Btw, she has 3 sisters (2 in college and one living on a farm) 2 of them came home late tonight.”
“To be continued…”
Oh the SCANDAL of it all.
Well this is a situation.
Reddit was pretty clear on who is TAH.
I think we’re totally hooked. I hope OP keeps updating.