As much as the holidays can be a joyous and fantastic time of year, they can also be riddled with drama and tedious irritation.
This is especially true when dealing with family.
It can be the one time in 365 days everyone finally gets together to catch up and celebrate.
If only it were that easy.
Case in point…
Redditor ThrowAwaysail0248 wanted to discuss their story for some feedback. So naturally they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for putting in an order for Gluten-Free Takeout for my Niece this Christmas instead of making her something?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“This year i’m in charge of making Christmas Dinner for the Family, and a few months ago my 8 year old Niece got diagnosed Celiac Disease.”
“So my Brother and Sister in Law gave me a heads up about that and how there needed to be Gluten Free options for her.”
“I have never made anything Gluten Free and I’ve been told it can be hard, in addition to this I can’t ensure my kitchen will be contamination free.
“So I did some research and bought a slot for take out from a local restaurant that has gluten free options for Christmas Meals.”
“I thought this was the best solution and was quite happy with it when I told my brother and SIL.”
“My SIL did not agree and began to tell me I was being unfair, and how this is already so hard on my niece, and it’ll draw even more attention to the fact she’s different from others if I bring in a takeout meal for her.”
“And how I should just make the entire meal gluten free.”
“My brother seemed embarrassed by this, but asked me if I could somehow make it work.”
“And privately told me his wife is upset, and lashing out, as she’s trying so hard to make my niece feel like nothing has changed.”
“I just don’t feel comfortable taking this kind of risk with my niece’s health when I have zero experience.”
“Should I just try and make the entire menu gluten and if it sucks we laugh it off?”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. I have food allergies and I love your idea! Just put it on regular dishes, etc. Problem solved.” ~ calaakla
“Exactly. Plate up the niece’s meal in the kitchen. This is a simple solution.”
“If is unreasonable for your SIL to demand that you change the entire menu last minute (and experiment with new recipes during a large gathering.)”
“NTA. She can chill or offer to cater the entire meal herself.” ~ Electrical-Date-3951
“Fellow celiac here (12 years diagnosed) and I can say that cross contamination sucks.”
“I think what you’re doing is completely reasonable.”
“Maybe make some of the gluten dishes the same as what you ordered her so she doesn’t feel different, plate hers the same as everyone else, & order a second gluten free plate in case she wants seconds?”
“If you don’t have experience cooking gluten free, it can definitely get into the ‘cardboard’ realm.”
“Also don’t forget some desserts too since that’s the best part, especially when you’re a kid.”
“NTA at all & I think it’s awesome your are willing to accommodate.”
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve brought my own food because people just didn’t want to deal with it or ‘their food to suck.'”
“I think her parents should have at least offered to come over & help with cooking hers since they’ve probably dived into all the research.” ~ iMOONiCORN
“This is exactly what the mother has to do.”
“Celiacs isn’t an allergy, it’s an autoimmune disease. If she pretends like it’s not a big deal, the kid will grow up believing it’s not a big deal.”
“And trust me, as a Celiac, it is.”
“If I eat an errant breadcrumb, it’s an immediate blood test, and three months of supplements.”
“After they stop, I’m scheduled for a bone density scan (this is ON TOP of my yearly pre-booked bloods and scan).”
“Anything more than a crumb, and I’m hospitalised with crippling pain. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, nevermind a kid.”
“OP is the only reasonable person in the room right now, majorly NTA.” ~ CrazySnekGirl
“Just want to add on here that because she has celiac disease specifically, any risk of cross-contamination could absolutely ruin the nieces evening.”
“And it’s much more likely that there would be cross-contamination if she tried to make the niece’s meal in the same kitchen she was cooking the rest of the dishes, or even in the kitchen where she routinely cooks meals with gluten. NTA.” ~ jasmine-blossom
“Your niece’s parents are uninformed.”
“It is nearly impossible to prepare gluten free food in a non GF kitchen.”
“You need a separate prep space and separate pans.”
“Many people try to prepare GF without the proper knowledge and make people very sick.”
“I am assuming that as a true celiac your niece is very sensitive to gluten.”
“There is a huge learning curve ahead for her and her parents.”
“Mom and dad should be bringing food for her and involving her in the food choices and preparation.”
“Mom can’t pretend nothing has changed. Everything has changed.”
“The sooner your niece with the help of her parents learns to take control of her food, the happier and healthier she will be.”
“Mom needs to stop making this about herself.”
“NTA. At least you were trying to be realistic which is much kinder when you consider the excruciatingly painful consequences for your niece if she is glutened.”
“Source: Am a 50 year old celiac with celiac daughter.” ~ KnotUndone
“NTA, I love the idea of plating.”
“While I don’t think it’s necessary, if you want to go the extra mile could you order enough of one side for everyone?”
“So everyone at the table has something she also has on her plate. Might be a way to meet in the middle.” ~ Aggravating-Ad-8385
“NTA – allergies are no joke, and it’s unfair to expect you to cater the whole dinner to one person who will in time forget what was even served at this one dinner.”
“Parents can provide the meal if your solution is unacceptable to them. Or they can come and cook her meal while you cook the rest.” ~ LeafPaladin
Over the last decade or so allergies have really become such an issue.
And everyone is learning to cope with these food issues. But those issues can have far reaching effects for many.
People are having to create several separate menus for simple dinner parties, let alone the Christmas feast.
Clearly many people have immense sympathy for our OP.
Here is to hoping the Christmas menu doesn’t ruin this family’s holiday.