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Woman Livid After Spouse Leaves Her Birthday Dinner Because He Can’t Order From Kids’ Menu

People eating Teppanyaki and sushi
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Birthday dinners are great… in theory.

Oftentimes the wreak more havoc than celebration.

This was, unfortunately, the case for Redditor youkickmydog613’s wife.

A dinner disagreement on the Original Poster’s (OP’s) wife’s birthday pushed him to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

He asked,

“AITA for walking out of the restaurant during my wife’s birthday dinner with her family. I’m feeling a bit guilty now.”

He went on to explain.

“For context my wife’s birthday was a few days ago, I took her out last weekend somewhere nice for just me and her to have lunch and I took her out and did a whole walk/hiking day which is her favorite thing to do.”

“This weekend her parents wanted to take her out to dinner, wherever she wanted to go. She asked my opinion on it, and I simply answered ‘literally anywhere except shoguns is fine’.”

“She knows I don’t like the restaurant, I just don’t like the flavors.”

“Her dad loves the place so we’ve been there often, every single time I have not liked it, so I came to the conclusion I just would stop going there.”

“Spending $30 on a plate of food I won’t eat seems ridiculous. Cue todays events, we went out with her parents and our kids, had a nice day together.”

“Time comes to decide where we’re going for dinner, wife and family says shoguns. I think ‘okay, no big deal I’ll just get a kids meal or something (chicken strips and fries)’.”

“I remind my wife on the way to the restaurant that I don’t plan on eating anything off the menu, but I would be more than happy to sit with everyone, enjoy the company, and I will order the chicken strips.”

“She’s happy, I’m happy, all good.”

“Until we get to the restaurant that is.”

“Turns out the kids meals are only for 10 and under, obviously I’m way over that age limit, so I thought ‘no big deal, I’ll just relax and enjoy the company, then I’ll grab some food when we leave’.”

“Oh no, according to shoguns policy you have to pay per person whether or not that person is eating.”

“They wanted me to pay $10 to watch other people eat, when the kids meal would’ve only cost $7.”

“So I asked again if I could just get the kids meal then, they refused, my wife was getting upset over the $10 charge for me to just sit there, so I told my wife I’m not paying $10 to watch everyone else eat dinner, f*ck that.”

“So now I’m sitting outside in the car, my wife is mad at me, and my wife’s parents I’m sure are not thrilled as well.”

“I guess I’m just feeling guilty, so the real question here is AITA? Should I have paid the $10 to sit at the table and watch everyone eat food that I can’t even stand the smell of?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. She asked your opinion and you told her literally anywhere but shoguns.”

“Why she chose it is anyone’s guess, but it was a thoughtless thing to do, birthday or not. And she shouldn’t be mad at you.” – Few_Ad_5752

“I agree, one thing to be upset when the person had the opportunity to voice an opinion and they didn’t, and when they did.”

“NTA if your wife wanted to pick a place to appease family she shouldn’t have asked an opinion and then got upset when said opinion isn’t listened to.”

“Especially when you were willing to eat something you would eat and chose, and then were denied because of policy.”

“I get upscale, but if a grown man wants to pay for chicken strips, just let him… smh… you are getting money either way..” – FreshlyFistedDogAnus


“It’s your wife’s birthday, so you could easily just nibble on some vegetables or salad, or even just rice. You’re an adult, and adults sometimes have just to suck it up and do stuff they don’t want to.”

“That being said, she’s also the ah because who bothers asking your opinion and then choosing the one place you said you didn’t want to go to?”

“She clearly didn’t care what you thought, and even though it’s her birthday, I’m sure she could have chosen another restaurant where everyone could have eaten something they enjoyed.” – 10piepiek

“Let me get this straight….a restaurant won’t serve you a kids meal unless you’re a kid? WTF”

“What a sh*tty stupid restaurant. ESH.”

“You should just order the cheapest plate anyway and sit there since you gotta pay anyhow. It sucks but it’s not your day it’s wife’s.” – FritosRule

YTA. Wife’s birthday & you made it about you. Most restaurants do not allow adults to order off kid’s menus – pretty standard.”

“‘Should I have paid the $10 to sit at the table and watch everyone eat food that I can’t even stand the smell of?’ YES & stop trying to justify your behavior.”

“They offer salads, and you could have ordered a salad/beverage or something for others to share.” – Retirednursey


“She knows you’re unable to eat the food and chose the restaurant anyway. Paying to watch others eat is dumb.”

“She was rude for forcing you into the situation. She had a choice of anywhere but place x. She chose place x . Now is pushing you for the choice.” – Forward_Nothing5979

“Yeah. YTA. $10 is a small price to pay on your wife’s, birthday.”

“Not your birthday, hers.”

“You spent it as a petulant child, sulking away from everyone else, when you could have considered it her bday present.” – maodiver1

“YTA. If it weren’t her birthday, you wouldn’t be TA.”

“Nobody wants to go to a restaurant where they don’t like any of the food. Nobody wants to pay to watch other people eat.”

“But someone else’s birthday, especially your wife’s, isn’t about what you want. It’s incredibly selfish of you to ruin her birthday dinner over $10.”

“And don’t say it wasn’t about the $10 because you were perfectly fine to sit there and not eat until they wanted you to pay $10.”

“You thought taking a stand against a restaurant’s dumb policy was more important than spending $10 not to ruin your wife’s birthday.” – 1or2throwaway

“Blown away by how many people are validating you lol. Your wife’s birthday dinner with her parents isn’t about what food you want.”

“Your initial compromise was fair. When it became a matter of paying $10 to enjoy the experience with your family vs walking out, you were an AH for walking out.”

“It caused a scene and was probably embarrassing for her. You could have picked at an appetizer or salad or just paid and griped internally.”

“Doesn’t matter if you already took her out to a celebratory lunch – that’s like the bare minimum. Your actions showed that your wife’s night wasn’t worth $10. Very poor form.” – knapen50

“I feel like all the Y T A s are coming from people who aren’t married lol”

“If my husband asked this question of me and I said “anywhere but (let’s say the racist diner down the road that his family loves),” I would expect to go anywhere but the racist diner down the road that his family loves.”

“And if his family decided we were going there anyway, I would expect him to get me out of it.”

“Likewise, if the conversation were in reverse and he said, say, anywhere but Olive Garden, I would pick anywhere but Olive Garden…”

“…and if I received pushback from my family, I would advocate for my spouse because having him there is half of what makes the meal enjoyable.”

“Your wife failed you by either specifically choosing what you don’t like or by failing to advocate for you.”

“Even if Shoguns is her favorite restaurant in the whole entire world, that should’ve prompted a “well, I want to go there, would you rather stay home” type conversation.”

“You’re NTA. Healthy marriages are full of compromises. You didn’t make it about you, you took a reasonable stand against being charged to sit there.”

“Against your wishes being outright ignored. Against being denied chicken fingers?! Honestly.”

“It would be a totally different story if she didn’t ask, but she did, and regardless of who chose to ignore your preferences, you got overlooked, even though you’re supposed to be her number one.”

“I cannot stress it enough. Marriage is built on a foundation of compromise. NTA, NTA, NTA.”

– w0nd3rk

The OP went on to update the thread’s followers.

“Edit: really didn’t expect this post to blow up like this. Thank you all for reading and giving feedback.”

“I have talked with my wife, and we both agreed that we were both in the wrong, and both of our choices led to this situation happening (me more so than her).”

“She did apologize for picking the one restaurant I requested for her to not pick, though she also says her parents more or less forced her into the decision (makes me feel even worse for my reaction).”

“Although everyone seems to have some really mixed feelings on this, I have come to the conclusion that I am the a**hole here.”

“The situation put me on the spot, and my reaction was a poor one. Thank you all for your input.”

“Also, to those insinuating that my wife and I are bad for each other, grow up.”

“It was a petty argument that stemmed from both sides. We love each other very much and certainly are not going to get a divorce over something that can be resolved with a simple conversation.”

“Also, no she did not just pick the location to be petty or just to start a fight like some you are suggesting.”

“I get it, it’s easy to jump to conclusions way too quickly sometimes, but my wife is not a petty person in the least bit, in fact, she is one of the most kind-hearted – go out of her way to do stuff for others – people that I know, hence why I fell in love with her in the first place.”

Happy belated birthday to the OP’s wife.

Glad you two could clear it up. And that the Shoguns showdown is over.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)