Food preferences can be a matter of contention for some people. T
hey can’t understand how anyone can dislike something they love.
A wife turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback afted her husband’s latest attempt to get her to love his favorite food.
FlowerPotage asked:
“AITA for criticizing the lunch my husband brought me?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“It’s actually not that serious, and kinda silly, but my husband and I need to know who’s the real a**hole here.”
“So, first, it’s important for the story, but my husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years. In those 10 years, I’ve discovered (with much horror) that my husband puts mayo in EVERYTHING (pizza, pasta, shepherd’s pie, meat, rice, mashed potatoes).”
“I’m most disgusted by the rice and meat, because it’s not just a little drop, no, he SMOTHERS them in mayo. He knows I hate it.”
“He’s from Canada—it’s either mayo or maple syrup for him (to be honest, real maple syrup is valid).”
“Fast forward, I was having a rough shift at work, and I forgot to bring a lunch, so my husband volunteered to bring me one. He made rice, broccoli, and sausage. I was pleased until I opened the box and saw…mayo. Not on the side, no, no…in the rice, on the sausage, EVERYWHERE.”
“He saw my face and questioned it. I said, ‘It’s been 10 years, have I EVER put mayo in my rice?’ He replied that he puts my favorite hot sauce in it and it tastes great together, so he wanted to surprise me with a special sauce.”
“His points are that it’s ungrateful of me to criticize a meal he made and brought for me, even more so when he was trying to please me with a special sauce made of my favorite hot sauce.”
“My points are that I really appreciate the gesture, but mayo‽‽ Ten years of me being disgusted by his rice smothered in mayo. Ten years of telling him how much it disgusted me, but he still thought it was a good idea.”
“So, Reddit, AITA?”
The OP later added:
“Our relationship is great; we’re not about to divorce over this anytime soon.”
“I didn’t notice the hot sauce at first because it’s yellow and was mixed with the mayo.”
“Because of my eye condition, I don’t see nuances in colors. Any off-white or colors close to white are just white.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“I might be the a**hole because it was a nice gesture and his intentions were good (bringing me lunch at work, made by him and for him), but I complained anyway (he’s supposed to know my taste over time), coming across as ungrateful.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. Putting something you openly dislike into your meal as a ‘surprise’ is not the kind of surprise anyone is going to like. He should know better.” ~ RoyallyOakie
“Do not do ‘new things they might dislike’ when they’re having a bad day. On bad days, we play it safe so it doesn’t backfire. Like it did now.” ~ Upstairs_Actuary5393
“And if he wanted a surprise sauce, then put it in a separate container on the side.” ~ NomaJayne
“Right? Even if he didn’t know that she didn’t like her food smothered in mayonnaise (which he should after a decade together, and especially given that it wasn’t food that is normally served with mayo), who serves someone else food absolutely drenched in their own favourite condiment?” ~ Sorry_I_Guess
“NTA, and husband honestly thinks he was sly by co-opting her favourite hot sauce for the ‘surprise’. Like ‘I thought you would like it bc fav hot sauce’ (intentionally omitting he’s added mayo).”
“I don’t think it’s a huge deal, and initially I thought no one was an a**hole, but I could also see how maybe the husband has no defense against it.”Â
“I know if my partner said something I enjoyed disgusted them, I might really want to share with them that it isn’t disgusting—doesn’t mean I would make a meal with it and include a favourite of theirs to ‘elude culpability’.”
“It’s harmless, especially if OP doesn’t actually despise mayo, but I don’t know, something sat oddly about it. Like, is he trying to convert her?” ~ XCIXcollective
“Ya, it seems like he maybe expected her not to notice so that if she ended up liking it, he could be like ‘see! Mayo is great!’—but it seems thoughtless, and the fact that he is calling her ungrateful for not wanting something he knows she hates is not great.”
“No idea why he is trying to convert her to that Mayo life so hard.”
“I’m almost certain that if she took him a meal that he despised with some flimsy excuse about how he likes one of the flavors in it, he would not be any more grateful than she is now.” ~ deathbystereo007
“NTA. Feels like he mostly tried to prove a point than to bring you food you can actually eat. It’s like giving someone flowers they hate, but ‘hey, I gave you flowers!'” ~ nedodao
“After 10 years, he knows she doesn’t like mayo on everything as he does. He wants to make sure she never asks him to make her lunch again. Look up weaponised incompetence, OP, because this is a classic case of it.” ~ RosieAU93
“Or proving the point that mayo on rice and meat is good. He may have thought she would have no choice but to eat it and this would be the day that her whole world changes and she acknowledges the mighty mayo.” ~ poochonmom
“As someone with a severe aversion to mayo, I can confirm that this is a thing people do, and it never seems to occur to them that there is no such thing as having ‘no choice but to eat it’—the choice is that we end up going hungry. *sigh*” ~ Sorry_I_Guess
“My dad is famous for doing stuff like this. I genuinely don’t think his brain can fully compute preferences. Like it’s not calculated enough to be intentionally manipulative.”
“He just genuinely cannot wrap his brain around the fact him loving something doesn’t mean it tastes good to everyone, or vice versa.”
“It is unbelievably annoying. At least in my case, I got to move out after 18 years.” ~ MyAskRedditAcct
“My sister-in-law is like this, and it drives me batty. Her most recent obsession is being a Disney adult and trying to convince everyone they need to do Disney trips. She’s repeatedly attempted to convince me to go and how much fun I would have on the rides.”
“I’m in a wheelchair and have severe pain when jostled and struggle even with car rides over an hour, and have to remind her of this multiple times, but it just never sticks.” ~ LizHylton
“My dad did this, too. Every salad he ever made had a tomato ‘hidden’ somewhere in it. He was always so sure I’d suddenly like them if I just accidentally happened to eat one.
“He also consistently bought me the worst gifts, because they were always things he liked.” ~ LittleDogTurpie
“NTA for telling him the truth. He’s known you for a decade. Literally took more work to put an ingredient in he knows you don’t like, then gets offended you’re not grateful?”
“It’d be like my friend buying me food and saying, ‘I got you that salad you like, but asked for chicken to be mixed into it and paid extra for it. Yeah, you’re vegetarian, but you should be grateful I brought you food, even if you won’t eat it.” ~ xkittytoebeansx
“My hubby does this, it’s been 26 years. He will present whatever it is and start with ‘I know you don’t like x but I thought you might be hungry’ and when I inevitably say no, then he eats it in front of me.”
“I think he wants to look like he is doing the right thing, but really knows it is going to be for himself.”
“He didn’t really want to make whatever it was for me to begin with, and so ensured that I won’t eat it. I am not sure on the reasoning behind this, though; it’s happened more times than I can remember.” ~ TraditionalStop8986
“NTA. Putting mayo on rice is grounds for divorce.” ~ Prissy1997
“Find something weird that you like and start adding it to everything.”
“Like pickle juice. Or maybe you have a thing for beets.”
“Pickled beet and liver poutine with American cheese might shape him up real fast.” ~ theSchrodingerHat
“You have to live with him putting mayo on his food. You should never have to endure him putting mayo on your food. It’s a condiment, not a sauce. A dip, maybe. It’s optional and for 10 years you have made it clear that you do not select that option.”
“It’s no different than if you enjoy ketchup on your eggs and then assume because you think it tastes great that all of your guests will too and smother everyone’s breakfast with a layer of ketchup.”
“I don’t like soy sauce. I love wasabi but hate soy sauce. If I went for sushi and the meal came with soy sauce already on the sushi, I wouldn’t eat it.”
“An aside, the only time a meal made me instantly nauseous was at a sushi place that put mayo in sushi. I couldn’t dine with your husband. I do eat mayo, but small amounts on a sandwich, watching someone eat it by the teaspoon would make me vomit.”
“You’re right. He’s wrong. Condiments remain on the side as an option. He gets demerits for not respecting or remembering your preferences. NTA.” ~ The_Motherlord
OP has Reddit on her side on this one.
Her husband needs to keep his love of mayo on his own plate.