Eating out with others can be a big drama if you let it.
Everyone has a dietary restriction or a preference.
That’s a part of life.
But it can become more irksome in an intimate relationship.
Case in point…
Redditor ATotalMunch wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to take my girlfriend to nice places because she eats like a kid?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My girlfriend is an incredibly picky eater.”
“As I said in my title, she eats like she is ten years old.”
“In fact, I’ll give a short list of things she refuses to eat; Unflavored water, fish (excluding fried shrimp), anything with bones, cheese other than sharp cheddar, spinach, onions, garlic, pasta without red sauce, eggs, spicy food, aioli, ketchup, potatoes (other than french fries), pastries with fruit, citrus, sausage or any ‘non-American’ food.”
“This compares to me, someone who grew up in multiple different regions of the U[United] S[states] and lived abroad for a few years.”
“So I’m a bit more adventurous when it comes to food.”
“Whenever I and my girlfriend go out somewhere nice, she ends up getting the same meals, usually either a burger or chicken tenders and fries.”
“We could be going to an authentic Nepalese restaurant, and she will get the french fries and white rice.”
“To me, it’s kind of embarrassing to go to a restaurant where there is a dress code and for her to order chicken tenders and fries.”
“It especially bothers me that since I typically pay, I end up paying 15 bucks for chicken tenders that I could get from the freezer section at Walmart for five bucks.”
“Recently, in our area, a very nice dinner place opened up, and my girlfriend has been dying to go.”
“I took a look at the place and the menu and saw that it looked nice, but the food was kind of pricy.”
“She said she was probably gonna get chicken tenders as per usual.”
“I asked her what’s the point of going then if I can toss some tenders in the air fryer for her and not spend a ridiculous amount of money on it.”
“She asked why I had an attitude about this, and I told her that I thought it was a waste of time and money to go to a nice place to get little kid food.”
“She interpreted this as me calling her a little kid.”
“I clarified that I wasn’t calling her a child; however, it is kinda childish for her to eat the way she does.”
“I also said that if she’s gonna order food, we can make it at home. There’s not any point in us going anywhere.”
“This led to an argument about me thinking I’m better than her.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Probably not the popular opinion, but I think NTA.”
“I don’t see the point in taking her to an expensive restaurant with a very specific type of cuisine and her getting fries or chicken fingers.”
“Why is she dying to go there anyway??”
“Some people don’t understand why OP can’t just let her eat what she wants and not care.”
“I will agree him being ’embarrassed’ is silly. Who cares what strangers think?”
“But I will also tell you that a huge number of people have said for them and many self-described ‘foodies’ trying new cuisines or restaurants is about savoring the shared experience.”
“It’s about trying each other’s foods and comparing flavors, textures, etc.”
“It’s part of how they bond with friends or partners.”
“And while not everyone understands that, it is valid.”
“OP’s G[irl]F[friend] isn’t ‘wrong’ per se, but it seems like for OP he wants to share these experiences with someone who enjoys that as well.” ~ PilotEnvironmental46
“I hate people like this.”
“Grown-a** adults who eat like a kid.”
“Sure, a burger it chicken tenders is fine, but most meals? Develop a palate.”
“I would never date someone like that.”
“NTA OP, go with a friend instead.” ~ crazybicatlady86
“It does seem like she just doesn’t want to try anything at all.”
“When my wife and I travel, we love trying the local cuisine, and I can’t imagine her being like that.”
“OP’s GF needs to find someone just like her.” ~ PilotEnvironmental46
“Agreed. I had a coworker that ate like that.”
“She literally orders kid’s meals when we ordered food because she would basically just get chicken tenders every time, and they were only on the kid’s menu.”
“I stopped offering to get her food when I ordered delivery or pick up.” ~ crazybicatlady86
“I agree with NTA on this if she is expecting you to cover the bill.”
“Like, yeah, the atmosphere is a nice added part to the experience of a new restaurant.”
“But the real appeal of trying a new place would be to try new foods.”
“The chicken tenders can’t be that different.”
“I don’t get why bothering when trying new things is the fun part.”
“I’d give her the ultimatum for her to try a new meal if she really wants to go there, and if not, she can cover herself.” ~ ThatsNotMaiName
“I guess the only positive is she probably isn’t one of those insufferable people who have to take a photo of every meal they eat and post it on social media.”
“Can you imagine an Instagram feed of chicken tenders? LOL. NTA OP.” ~ sakuratee
“I agree with this.”
“I’m a supporter of letting people eat whatever they want.”
“However, I’m not paying for it.”
“She may just like getting dressed up and going somewhere new.”
“Let her get dressed up and go to a new place, but let her pay for her own food.”
“Paying anything above $10 for chicken tenders, fried, and a drink is not something I’d do.”
“But if she wants to, he can get his fun, adventurous meal, and she can pay for her own chicken tenders.” ~ Glum_Hamster_1076
“NTA. What’s the point of going to a restaurant that is charging high prices for the food experience if you aren’t going to actually take part in that experience?”
“To be honest, I don’t think you are compatible.”
“Your background has led you to be more inclusive as far as what you eat, and I expect that extends to other aspects of your life.”
“Your girlfriend doesn’t want to grow past her comfort zone.”
“I don’t see how this can work out in the long run.” ~ 5115E
“I don’t think this commenter is wrong. They’re just wrong about why…”
“1) he clearly does think of her as a child; that’s why he said it to her, and why he made a point of it introducing his complaint…”
“2) They have different values in money.”
“Right or wrong, to her, the experience of the nice restaurant is important, even if she’s not ordering nice food.”
“To him, it’s a waste of money…”
“3) They are unable to communicate on this issue, which should be a pretty simple one to resolve, so how are they going to handle real conflict down the road?”
“All that said.”
“OP is NTA, and I completely agree. There is no point in going out to a nice restaurant if you’re not there to have the full experience of what they offer.”
“Spend that money on some other kind of date.” ~ Scurveymic
“ESH – look, I’m mostly on your side, until the last two paragraphs.”
“The point of going out isn’t always to eat the food or try new food, but to spend time together.”
“Throwing around it’s not even worth going out if you only eat chicken tenders is really callous.”
“She also sounds picky but flexible.”
“In that, she’ll find something at any restaurant to eat, even if it’s fries and rice.”
“So I think it’s a bit crappy you’re knocking her for that when she isn’t necessarily inconveniencing you.”
“I get you’re embarrassed, but this is who you’re dating.”
“Either decide it’s a deal breaker for you or learn to live with it.”
“However, I do think she should be paying for meals if she’s going to pick a super expensive place.” ~ SherbetAnnual2294
“Picky eater here, and I vote NTA.”
“If GF wants to go to these fancy restaurants and order basic food, then she can do so with her friends or family.”
“She is perfectly capable of dining out with others.”
“OP can also choose to dine out with people who will sample all parts of the menu.”
“Maybe this is just something the two experience with others and save dining out together for mutually agreed on places.” ~ Big-Ad5914
“NTA. She could go and have a unique drink or something if she wants to experience the atmosphere, but without getting chicken tenders and fries for 3x the cost that they would be at a diner or from the store.”
“I would not be willing to pay premium prices for the same, low-value food over and over and over again.” ~ Illustrious-Shirt569
Well, OP, Reddit seems on your side here.
Who knew dining out and menus at home could be so dramatic for a relationship?
Sounds like you may need to have a deep chat with the GF about it all.
Good luck.