No two people have the same relationship with dogs.
Some people have such fear or resentment of man’s best friend that they can’t stand to even be in the same room as them, let alone pet them.
Others, however, have dogs not merely as loving companions, but as medical necessities.
Making having a relationship with dog-hating friends and family members challenging, to say the least.
Redditor AITAThrowawya8 was among those who preferred not to have dogs in his house under any circumstances.
As a result, this forced the original poster (OP) to make a decision when it came to having a friend over for a gathering.
Wondering if he was being insensitive to his friend, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not letting my friend bring his service dog over.”
The OP explained why he left his friend feeling disappointed and left out at a recent gathering he held.
“My (39 m[ale]) friend (38 M) recently got a service dog. It’s a diabetic alert dog.”
“The issue arises in that he wants to bring it to my house when I host hangouts/parties.”
“I’m not much of a dog person and really don’t want it at my house.”
“It is a breed that sheds, and I don’t want to have to deal with dog hair in my house.”
“Also, my kids regularly play in our yard, and I don’t want them to encounter dog poop and pee.”
“I’ve spent the last 10 years in this house, turning it into a place my friends, family, and I could hang out.”
“I have a pool. I built a bar in my basement, those types of upgrades.”
“I offered to meet out at a restaurant or someone else’s place and host less, but my house is the preferred destination among everyone else.”
“I have amenities that others don’t, and there are no expensive food and bar tabs at my place.”
“I host a lot during football season and other major sporting events, with some general hangouts in between.”
“I told my friend that his dog wasn’t welcome.”
“I offered to pay for a monitoring device he can use while at my house, but he didn’t take that offer well.”
“He let me know he wasn’t happy and recently missed our Super Bowl get-together.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was fairly divided as to where the OP fell by refusing to allow his friend to bring his service dog.
Some felt he was being unforgivably insensitive, as the OP’s friend needed that dog with him at all times for his health and safety.
“YTA!”
“It also appears to me that most people have NO IDEA what some diabetics go through EVERY DAY!”
“Not just every day but every second of every day.”
“There’s no break.”
“It’s exhausting, both mentally and physically.”
“I’m also sure most have zero idea what a brittle T1 diabetic is.”
“I mean, the wind can blow wrong on this person, and they drop like a rock!”
“They can do everything right, and still their body reacts uncontrollably and unpredictably.”
“They’re also likely hypo-unaware, which means that they have a neurological deficit that doesn’t allow them to ‘feel’ a low coming on, which is EXTREMELY dangerous!”
“My husband is a true brittle T1.”
“I have found my husband in our yard seizing, not knowing where he’s at, having a critical low that requires immediate medical attention, and if he wouldn’t get the proper treatment immediately, he’d be dead or possibly end up a vegetable!”
“The dog, as you refer to, is in fact a medical necessity for these kinds of diabetics.”
“They’re able to alert the person of an impending drop. At least our dog can.”
“She also alerts me immediately.”
“My husband has many other severe health problems because of diabetes, which makes him unable to wear a CGM, so he does 15-30 finger pricks a day!”
“His fingers are so bruised and painful some days, so the dog allows him some reprieve.”
“You have the nerve to tell your ‘friend’ no.”
“T1 is no joke!”
“Especially if you’re a rare brittle T1.”
“It’s an autoimmune disease, not a simple exercise and diet-disease!”
“It affects every aspect of your life.”
“Hell, you can’t even just fall asleep without making sure you won’t die in your sleep!”
“You can’t put anything in your mouth without thinking about how to dose, what you’ll be doing afterward, and then your body could f**k you over and do what it wants to do anyway!”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be completely overwhelmed, at your breaking point, and need a break?”
“Well, gee whiz, you have the luxury of getting a possible break.”
“These types of diabetics do not, EVER, for the rest of their lives!”
“I think your ‘friend’ needs to find real friends because you are not a good friend at all!”
“Educate yourself!”
“Epileptics have service dogs for the prevention of seizures. Would you be telling them ‘sorry, nope?’”
“Many T1s, because it’s an autoimmune disease, also have other autoimmune diseases or serious symptoms that can be prevented by having a service dog.”
“Ours has literally saved my husband’s life!”
“So what I’m hearing by your incredibly ignorant post is that you care more about a minute amount of dog hair than your ‘friend’s’ life.”
“YTA!”
“Shame on you!”- jennibear310
“YTA.”
“Seems like you care more about your house and amenities’ than your friend.”- NextAd7404
Others, however, were a bit more understanding, feeling the OP’s reasons for not wanting a dog in his house were valid, even though they also sympathized with his friend.
“I have a service dog.”
“They are medical equipment, but I do understand that they can be barred from personal property.”
“I’m going to say NAH.”
“However, if my service dog can’t come with me, I don’t go.”
“I have the service dog for a reason, and so going out without him could mean that I am putting myself in harm’s way.”
“So just be prepared to see less off, or depending on their viewpoint, lose your friend.”-Kelosaurus_rex
“Did the friend say they wouldn’t clean up the dog’s waste?”
“I know two close friends with diabetic-alert dogs.”
“In my experience, if you have one, it’s because your blood sugar highs and lows don’t present symptoms in the normal way, and the dog has the ability to catch it before it gets dangerous.”
“Other monitoring systems don’t work as well, so they get a dog.”
“Having a service dog and bringing everywhere is not really convenient, so if you have one, you obviously need it.”
“I know a lot of people with service dogs in general due to also having a chronic condition and being in support groups.”
“They all keep their dogs well groomed, and picking up poop is a very normal expected part of their day.”
“They know the dog has to be clean because it’s going in public a lot.”
“Also, all of the dogs kind of go on command in a way, so it’s very easy to take them to a spot out of the way to pee.”
“In the end, OP doesn’t have to let the dog in their house.”
“It’s their house.”
“But for OP, the dog being there is a minor inconvenience since they don’t seem to have a major allergy.”
“They just have to vacuum more, maybe.”
“For the friend not having the dog, there is a major inconvenience.”
“Depending on how close OP is with this person taking the minor inconvenience might be better.”-littlemohican13
“My vote is NAH.”
“People don’t understand that diabetic service dogs do perform an important service for people and aren’t just for attention.”
“A lot of people use the dogs to avoid sticking themselves to check or to alert them even faster than the monitors since dogs can smell so well.”
“If you pay attention to diabetic people, you can smell their breath change when they have a spike/drop, but usually by the time people can smell it, it’s about to be critical.”
“The dogs are also trained to get help if necessary, retrieve insulin/meds if the person can’t get up to get them, assist with fainting episodes, etc.”
“The people saying YTA don’t seem to recognize that you offered a solution and that it is your own house.”
“You’re allowed to make stipulations about dogs or pets coming over as long as you’re ready to deal with your friend not coming.”
“I love dogs. I train rescues and rehabilitate dogs for shelters.”
“I feel very strongly about respecting when people do not want to be around dogs.”
“This dog is a service dog and is most likely highly trained, so it may be worth seeing him in action before doubling down on your boundary.”
“But I also think you have the right not to have an animal in your home you don’t want there.”
“Anyone who thinks someone is an a**hole simply for not liking dogs does not pay attention to dog behavior.”- MortynMurphy
It’s not a sin not to like dogs, and the OP did technically have every right to refuse dogs from coming to his home.
But his friend didn’t just want to bring his pet. His friend needed to bring his service dog, so he didn’t have an episode. Which, considering the food most commonly served at Super Bowl parties, was a fairly likely prospect.
Hopefully, the OP might be able to come up with a better compromise for his next gathering.