Wanting to honor our loved ones is a natural human instinct. We pass down family names from generation to generation, and often we name and re-name our children after dearly departed loved ones.
So when now-deactivated Reddit user found herself pregnant, she wanted to pass the names of her dearly departed friends on to her children, but she was met with some resistance.
Unclear if she was doing the right thing, she went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” in order to get some perspective.
“AITA for wanting to name my kids after my ‘dead friends’?”
Our original poster, or OP, told us about her lost friends.
“I had three best friends Kate, Grace and Mike. We knew each other since kindergarten, so were were absolutely inseparable.”
“However, tragedy struck when the three of them died in a car crash. They got drunk, and the alcohol in their system caused them to drive in an insanley high speed.”
“(This was also before the pandemic, so there were obviously not a certain time on when they could go out or if they can even go out in general).”
Following this, OP has been in a bad state.
“I’ve gone through a deep state of depression after that and I’ve gone to therapy. It has done a lot for me and I’m truly grateful to my therapist for helping me get through the rough patch.”
“I’ve got my life together, and I’m currently married to my husband Liam and we are very happy together.”
“We recently found out we were expecting triplets ( Two girls and one boy). It was a big surprise but we were really excited nonetheless.”
OP wanted to honor her friends.
“I wanted to name them after my friends. It may be a bit weird, but I’ve wanted to do so to honor our friendship and at the end of the day they are really cute names, so I thought they’d suit them perfectly.”
But her husband was not on board.
“I’ve spoken to my husband about this and he expressed saying how he wasn’t to keen on naming our kids after some ‘dead people’.”
“I’ll admit, I was offended when he said it like that. These were more than just people to me, they were like a second family. I’ve discussed to him about a compromise, maybe we can name them something similar, but he wouldn’t budge.”
And he doubled down.
“He insisted that it was really creepy of me to suggest something like that and that we’d be choosing something that’s completely different from their names.”
“He’s kind of giving me the cold shoulder right now, and I feel a bit upset. I need some third perspective here, AITA?”
“Edit: Forgot to add this: •I was 20 when the accident happened and I’m 25 now so it’s been 5 years. •I’ve asked him if we could at least name one of them after the triplets, or give them middle names, he won’t go for it at all.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors had a few different opinions, mostly surrounding toeing the lines of comfort for both OP and her husband.
“NAH. I understand why you’d want to honor your friends, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with this either.”
“The thought of naming three kids after a group of three dead friends makes me really uncomfortable for reasons I can’t put my finger on.”~ostentia
“ESH (but also sus—you have three dead childhood friends and just happen to be having triplets with that exact gender makeup?)”
“Him for phrasing things rudely, you for not dropping the issue and moving on when it became clear that he’s not into it.”
“Names for children are a ‘two yes, one no’ situation and he can veto the names if he doesn’t like the idea.”~EstherandThyme
“A soft YTA, I see why you want to do it, but the names need to be agreed by both parents and you keeping pushing it won’t change his mind.”
“It’s okay that he doesn’t want to name the babies after your friends that passed away, a lot of people don’t like naming babies after a dead person.”~redditor191389
“It’s a nice thought but please think about the people it will effect.”
“How will the children feel about being named after a group a car crash victims? The children deserve their own identity.”