What a family spends their money on can always be a contentious issue among parents.
Sometimes one parent can’t justify spending money on luxuries of any kind and insists money should only be spent on household essentials.
Such was the mindset of Redditor mammabearxx3’s husband, who shocked his wife and daughter by making a significant financial decision without discussing it with them.
Following some heated arguments and amidst some ongoing tension with her husband, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The. A**Hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for using my husband’s savings to re-purchase the bike that he took from our daughter?”
The OP revealed the whole saga began as a result of her daughter’s birthday present.
“My daughter received a bike from her uncle (my brother) on her 11th birthday, she was over the moon and excited to use it because it was on her wishlist for so long.”
But her daughter’s joy would prove to be short lived, after her husband made a fairly shocking decision regarding her bicycle.
“Days ago, I discovered that my husband reached out to my brother to ask for the receipt for the bike and returned it to the store and kept the money for himself while my daughter was at school (the bike was at home).”
“My daughter and I got home and she started crying after noticing the bike was gone.”
“My husband was home at the time, he told me he returned the bike and got money in return to spend on something useful for us since the bike was just there as a ‘distraction’ and there was no need for it now since we’re the dead of winter.”
“I was aggravated and lost it on him saying it wasn’t his, didn’t come from him, and he didn’t pay for it so he had no right to touch it.”
“ESPECIALLY knowing our daughter’s been wanting it for a long time and my brother was decent enough to buy it for her despite barely having money to get him by.”
“I told him what he did was theft and insisted he hand over the money to me so I could re-purchase it but he said he spent it on stuff for the house and doesn’t have any money left now.”
But the OP couldn’t let her anger subside, eventually taking matters into her own hands.
“I knew about the money he was stashing away in the bedroom that he forbade me from touching, and I took some of it and went out to re-purchase the bike while he was out the next day.”
“He found out and verbally lashed out at me saying I should’ve never touched the money he was saving for himself which isn’t much but I lashed right back that I had to so I could re-purchase the bike he took from under our daughter.”
“He explained that he didn’t keep the money for himself and instead spent it for necessities for our home but he was at fault for taking the bike in the first place and he was responsible for getting it back.”
“He yelled at me for almost 10 minutes then stormed outside and started smoking.”
“My daughter asked why her dad was upset and that she no longer wants the bike if dad doesn’t want her to have it, but I assured her that’s not the case and told her she shouldn’t feel guilty and to just focus on enjoying her bike.”
“My husband hasn’t stopped grilling me about how I disrespected and undermined him and managed to make our daughter hate him after making him look like the bad guy, I again said he shouldn’t have touched the bike, end of the story.”
“He’s called me thief and juvenile for taking money from his savings and being sneaky about it.”
“AITA for the way I got the bike back?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors firmly agreed she was not at all the a**hole in this story and fully supported the OP’s decision to use her husband’s money to buy back her daughter’s bicycle.
Several Redditors expressed the behavior of the OP’s husband around his daughter’s bike is evidence of much bigger problems and she should seriously consider if this was a healthy marriage.
“NTA But you know you’ve got much bigger problems than the bike and this particular money incident.”- PhillyMila215.
“But like others I’m also wondering why you’re with this man.”
“He seems to care only about himself and not even a little bit about you or your daughter.”
“Are you with him for your daughter?”
“Because trust me, she doesn’t need that kind of drama in her life. “
“It’s better to not have a dad than a dad that steals from you for his own fun.”-Mobile-Feed-9928
“Your husband stole from his own child and then yelled at you over it.”
“Time to reevaluate your relationship with him.”- cinnamon_gin.
Others were disturbed by the fact the husband had the audacity to return his daughter’s bike, yet had no trouble stashing money exclusively for himself.
“He can’t afford necessities but he has a stash of money for himself and he’s smoking?”
“Your husband is so piss poor he has to steal from your kids, yet he somehow has enough money to smoke?”
“But you’re married to a huge one.”- gw2kpro.
“Your husband stole your daughter’s gift and you made it right.”
“And he’s hiding money you aren’t allowed to touch?”
“He sounds incredibly awful and controlling.”- keegeen
“Look up financial abuse.”
“Your husband is abusive.”
“What your husband did was completely sh*tty and any consequences they face are their problem not yours.”
“If he really cared that much about getting the necessities as he claims, why did he have to sell her bike rather than use his stash money?”
“Did your husband actually give you a list of what these necessities he bought were or just say the money was gone?”
“I would want to see what he actually bought, not to excuse him but to see if it actually went on what he said.”
“Also have you told your brother what he did?”
“If I were them I’d be incredibly pissed off about it.”- GreenHedgehog2.
It’s hard not to feel shocked a father would be so completely oblivious to his daughter’s happiness and even more surprising he thought he could justify his behavior.
It seems pretty clear money and finances are the very least of the OP’s problems.
One hopes she can find a way to improve her situation for the better.