There is a difference between a picky eater, people with serious allergies, and someone who just has a few preferences or two.
If a person doesn’t like pizza, they don’t like pizza.
Why make a spectacle out of it?
Seems like some people just can’t help themselves.
Case in point…
Redditor doctormom1212 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for kicking out my M[other] I[n] L[aw] for forcing my child to eat the one thing she dislikes?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband and I have a daughter (10 F[emale]) and she HATES mushrooms.”
“The taste, texture and smell of them she cannot stand.”
“She’s not a picky eater by any means, but just doesn’t like mushrooms.”
“My MIL lives with us and helps us by watching my daughter when she gets home from school.”
“She makes dinner for the nights we’re working late for our daughter, as MIL loves to cook so she ensured us that it would be no trouble for her to make our daughter dinner most nights.”
“My husband and I both work in the medical field, so we have crazy unpredictable schedules and are not home most nights to make dinner.”
“Last night my husband and I both had the night off work and were making dinner together, MIL went out for dinner with friends.”
“Susie came to us crying saying how she is sick and tired of being starved most nights and if we can please make her dinners instead of MIL.”
“It’s very public knowledge that Susie doesn’t like mushrooms.”
“But yet for the past few weeks, every SINGLE dish that my MIL has made for Susie has had the main component of mushrooms in it.”
“Portobello mushroom burgers, mushroom risotto, mushroom pasta, etc.”
“These dishes aren’t made when either myself or my husband are around, but when we aren’t, that’s all Susie is served to eat.”
“She told us that if she politely refuses to eat these dishes, my mil will tell her to ‘suit herself but she’s not getting any other food the rest of the night.'”
“And that she ‘has to outgrow this stupid mushroom hatred.'”
“Both my husband and I were extremely upset that our child is going to bed hungry every night due to my MIL only making her dinners with the ONE ingredient she doesn’t like and not allowing her to eat anything else.”
“When MIL got home we confronted her about this.”
“She started going off saying that Susie needs to grow up and get over this stupid hatred of mushrooms.”
“I told her that she’s essentially starving her granddaughter.”
“She disagreed and said it’s tough love.”
“She then proceeded to call me a sh*t mother for prioritizing my career over my child and helping her get over this dislike towards a vegetable.”
“I told her to get out of my house because she will not disrespect me like that.”
“She ended up leaving but had some nasty things to say to me on the way out.”
“My husband is 100% on my side and feels that his mother is out of line.”
“We’ve been getting nonstop messages from my 2 S[ister] I[n[ L[aw]’s and my MIL calling us every name in the book for kicking her out and that my daughter needs to get over herself.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Your MIL doesn’t understand that it’s perfectly okay to have different tastes than someone else.”
“She thinks she’s broadening her food choices.”
“From what you say, her food choices are plenty broad, so this is a power move, pure and simple.”
“She’s going to MAKE her love mushrooms or else!”
“Bottom line: YOUR CHILD, YOUR HOUSE, YOUR RULES. NTA.” ~ IamIrene
“NTA OP. I despise mushrooms.”
“Texture is gross, and they taste like dirt to me.”
“One year, I decided to try foods I professed to dislike.”
“Mushrooms- raw, cooked, stuffed were a no-go.”
“I will eat well-cooked onions (never raw).”
“I love roasted red peppers.”
“And jalapeños (raw, cooked, or pickled is another fave).”
“Strong no to any other raw peppers.”
“Starving a kid ’cause she doesn’t like mushrooms is utterly ridiculous.” ~ PokerQuilter
“I’ve changed the mind of several mushroom haters with my method of sauté and mushroom gravy.
“I never force it, but almost everyone I have made them for has changed their mind to at least like my method/seasoning.”
“By the way, most people severely undercook their mushrooms. NTA though.” ~ Facetunethis
“I make mine try things every now and then.”
“They don’t have to have more if they don’t enjoy it, but they try a bite of everything on the plate.”
“If they don’t, there won’t be anything else, if they do, we’ll get them something else.”
“But it’s not hugely punitive.”
“We tend to say ‘Do you like carrots? (Profuse nodding). You didn’t used to like carrots. How come you know you like them now?'”
“We let them realize that they tried them again.”
“And we let them go both ways.”
“My son used to love olives.”
“Now he doesn’t.”
“But he tries them about once a month, and his sister polishes them off if he doesn’t like them.”
“He used to hate oranges.”
“Tried one about two months ago and he likes them now.”
“They both trust us to listen if they try it but don’t like it.”
“And we’ve also talked about how you can like something cooked one way but not another.”
“They are ok with mushrooms chopped small in lasagne or cottage pie, but not keen on bigger pieces.”
“But they still try it every now and then.”
“Forcing a kid and not offering alternatives is just horrible.” ~ ursadminor
“Also, commenting on this one because you captured the exact quote that made me angriest.”
“MIL knows she’s in the wrong because why else would she not make those things when you ARE around?”
“Or leave leftovers etc for you?”
“Because she knows she’s being an a**hole by making only dishes with the one food your kiddo doesn’t eat.”
“That’s crap. NTA.” ~ Hot_Confidence_4593
“It’s one thing if the kid is an extremely picky eater with tons of things she won’t eat, but this is one food.”
“Everyone is allowed to have a food they just don’t like, for whatever reason.”
“MIL has a power/control issue here. NTA.” ~ IverinAduelen
“You are being far too easy on MIL: to tell the parents you’re feeding their child but secretly only prepare food with mushrooms is nothing short of sadistic.”
“She does not feel she’s broadening the poor girl’s choices or she would have told the parents her (cruel) plan.”
“Even someone like me who likes mushrooms doesn’t want a mushroom every damned meal.”
“I would ask my daughter if she ever wanted to see mil again- and go with it.”
“Starving a child into submitting to your will is twisted.” ~ Ok_Imagination_1107
“Sounds like she understands perfectly because she only did this torture routine when the parents weren’t there.”
“She was on some weird power kick, the poor hungry 10-year-old.”
“NTA OP, but never let your MIL alone with your daughter again, she’s unhinged.” ~ GratificationNOW
“NTA. Your MIL is deliberately tormenting your child.”
“She knows what she’s doing is wrong because she doesn’t do it when you or your husband are around.”
“It’s not ‘tough love,’ it’s child abuse and every day you allow her to watch your child in your absence is another opportunity for that abuse to continue.”
“She’s been doing this for weeks?”
“You should have kicked her out weeks ago.”
“Your daughter isn’t getting the food she needs.”
“She’s a child, her body needs to grow, childhood malnutrition can have permanent deleterious effects: loss of stature, lesser educational attainment, lower lifetime earnings.”
“Take action NOW.”
“I would ask if your MIL is some sort of mushroom acolyte set on forcing your daughter to consume mushrooms and worship the great portobello.”
“But she’s not knowledgeable enough about mushrooms.”
“They’re not vegetables, they’re fungi.” ~ WhatTheFoxWrites
“I half agree.”
“MIL probably raised her son this way, which is why he now doesn’t force his daughter to eat them.”
“I am similar to my kids.”
“My boy has A[ttention]-D[eficit]/[Hyperactivity] D[isorder] and was without his meds for a couple of weeks (because of the ‘shortage’).”
“He got into trouble for something stupid at school, and when I mentioned it to my mom her response was, ‘He needs a beating.'”
“And that’s why my kids don’t get spanked for menial things.”
“It has to be super severe for a spanking, and that’s still a last resort.”
“I try to be more patient with them and let them be kids.”
“When I told my mom that he needs his meds she said he didn’t need them.”
“I was adamant that he does, that it helps, and I was sure I had needed them as a little girl.”
“‘You did fine in school, it was math you were bad at.'”
“No mom, I had the attention span of a duckling, and you never understood that.”
“But that goes back to being a generational thing.”
“She’s intentionally cooking food she knows the granddaughter won’t eat, but only when mom and dad are gone at work.”
“She knows it’s wrong. NTA OP.” ~ AutumnFangirl
“NTA. Your MIL is engaged in a weird power play with your TEN-YEAR-OLD!! ~ Individual_Physics29
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Your house, your child, your rules.
There are other things to cook, maybe you can help your MIL with some recipes.
Or you could never speak to her again until she comes around on the issue.
Your decision.