Everybody loves a birthday.
And everybody loves a good wild birthday party more.
Well, maybe not everybody, but a lot of people do.
Which is why a birthday party guest list can get stressful.
There can be certain people who may not be getting an invite.
And that can cause some drama.
Case in point…
Redditor firelordylime wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my friend she can’t bring her baby to my birthday celebration?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Am I the a**hole for telling my friend I don’t want her to bring her two month old to my 25th birthday celebration?”
“I’m turning 25 in February and was planning a weekend girls trip to Chicago.”
“I have a friend who’s about to give birth any day now and our birthdays are ten days apart.”
“I was hesitant to invite her in the first place since she’s about to give birth but another friend let slip about my party so she basically asked if she could come along too.”
“I said sure and then she said she would have to bring baby girl along.”
“Now on this trip, I was hoping to cross a bucket list item off my list – taking edibles and going to an aquarium while in Chicago.”
“Finishing the night off with Korean BBQ and drinking.”
“An environment I wasn’t comfortable having a baby around.”
“My friend doesn’t see the problem with bringing her two month old along at all.”
“Everyone agrees with me.”
“The baby shouldn’t come with.”
“My friend says that since I don’t have kids, I shouldn’t have a say in how she raises her baby.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – It doesn’t sound as if you are trying to have a ‘say in how she raises her child,’ you are trying to have a birthday party consisting of activities totally unsuitable to a 2 month old baby.”
“Your friend needs to grow up to the reality that when she has a child.”
“She has to be an adult and a parent that means a change in her social activities.”
“She invited herself along on this outing; it’s not a kiddy party so she probably better rethink that.” ~ Dipping_My_Toes
“Exactly this. A two month old baby needs the safety of his own home, sincerely the mother of a six month old baby.”
“A lot of babies need peace and quiet to help get a sleeping rhythm.”
“Besides, your friend may still need to recover.”
“I know I did with 8 weeks.”
“A girls trip is just not the best place for a baby.”
“AND OP, you are not dictating how she raises her baby.”
“Your concern is your party.”
“And that is fine.”
“I hope you get your party the way it should. Without kids.” ~ Pollythepony1993
“The only way this could even possibly work without completely ruining the trip for everyone else involved is to have her husband come with her to watch the kid while she goes out and does drugs in aquariums.”
“And even that would still probably at least partially ruin the trip for the rest of them since…”
“A: having a dude tag along kind of harshes the girls trip vibe.”
“B: I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be taking edibles and drinking while breastfeeding, which means she’s not going to really be matching everyone else’s energy.’
“C: She’s going to be exhausted by her recent exposure to the joys of sleepless nights that parents of babies experience.”
“She’s not going to be able to keep up with a bunch of carefree 25 year olds out partying in the city.”
“If the father doesn’t come along to help out, she’s just straight up a bad mother for thinking late night drinking in Chicago is an appropriate environment for a 2 month old baby.”
“It would be a struggle to even find a bar willing to let her in.”
“And I really wouldn’t want to spend time in a bar that actually let her come in.” ~ Noodlefanboi
“NTA- C[hild] P[rotective] S[ervices] would have a field day if they caught anyone with drug with a 2 month old baby while high.”
“Plus it could open you all up to child endangerment chargers if anything where to happen.” ~ jdadame
“Not only that but what 2 month old is able to get fully vaccinated?”
“I wouldn’t travel to a major city, let alone Chicago, in cold season with an unvaccinated baby.”
“That’s just poor parenting choices. NTA OP.” ~ Doverdirtbiker
“I honestly find it terrifying this woman wants to bring a fragile two month old (they’re SO tiny at that age) on a trip like this.”
“OP, just text her, ‘Listen, I’m not comfortable having a baby come on a trip like this, maybe another time, but it’s just not going to happen for this trip.'”
“‘We can plan something more relaxed that the baby can join us for in the future.'”
“If she keeps responding saying she’s the mom, or whatever, just repeat the same thing, “‘I’m sorry, the answer is no.'”
“Don’t change one word of your answer until she realizes she’s not going to bully you into another answer.” ~ crystallz2000
“You shouldn’t have a say in how she raises her baby… BUT you definitely have a say in what you planned for your bday weekend!!”
“And for the record, I agree with you 100% a 2 month old has no business being involved in what you have planned!”
“NTA even a little bit…”
“Having her baby there would completely change your entire weekend, she’s being selfish.”
“Not to mention making poor choices as a new Mom.” ~ Country-girl-2212
“This made me laugh because my friend referred to my first born as a glorified purse.”
“We met for a lunch date that was strategically during nap time.”
“He fell asleep in the car, slept in his car seat in the booth until we left, and woke up when we got home.”
“It was magical… but only 2 hours, not a girls weekend. OP is NTA.” ~ AnonymousPuffin222
“NTA. I’m a parent and I agree that a baby would ruin this whole thing.”
“A trippy girls weekend is no place for a (first-time??) mom and newborn!?!”
“I feel for your friend but c’mon!” ~ Sensitive-Whereas574
“NTA. There is a line to be drawn when trying to tell someone what to do with their baby, but this is not that situation.”
“A two month old, still within newborn stage has zero business going here and there, in a large city, on a birthday weekend, in cold ass February, in public spaces, with diseases still swimming in the air.”
“WHILE y’all plan on being drunk and high.”
“Your birthday weekend deserves to be free of children as well as responsibility towards people with children.” ~ RayneBeauRhode
“NTA. That trip is not appropriate for a 2 month year old.”
“You are going to get intoxicated and hit the town.”
“You don’t take a baby for that.”
“And any time someone goes, you don’t have kids you don’t have a voice in how I raise mine, that’s guaranteed they are doing bad parenting behavior and are looking for an excuse to shut down complaints.” ~ GrumpyBearBank
“NTA… it’s totally OK to have an event where kids are not invited.”
“It has nothing to do with a judgment on her parenting.”
“Who wants to deal with a crying baby on your edibles trip?” ~ Alarming_Work4005
“NTA, your reasoning is 100% correct.”
“Maybe y’all can do a dinner hangout or something to celebrate with her separately from this trip.” ~ Chi_chi_chikari
“To be honest the friend who doesn’t think it’s a big deal and let it slip just wants to cause drama.”
“Your birthday will be ruined if you allow it, tell the friend who thinks it’s not a big deal that maybe she and the friend who had the baby can do their own thing.”
“Also are these people real?”
“2 month old in the middle of winter in Chicago?”
“Where you will probably be orders in public place?”
“Does she really want to expose her child to potentially get sick? NTA.” ~ Vegetable-Bee-7545
“NTA. Bringing an infant completely changes the complexion of the weekend.”
“Especially if you are all staying in an Air-bnb or suite.”
“I’m remembering my newborn son screaming his head off every few hours during the night for the first 9 months. Super fun!!!” ~ SaraG1973
“NTA. It’s fair to tell her “’I really wish you could come! But this isn’t a child friendly event.'”
“‘The activities planned are not safe for a baby and I wouldn’t be comfortable putting any of us in that situation.'”
“‘I am happy to make separate plans that are baby friendly on another day with you though.’”
“It sounds like she has wishful thinking if the baby isn’t born yet.”
“She may not fully understand what bringing the baby will entail in reality.” ~ AdviceMoist6152
OP also mentioned…
“This will be her third child, my apologies- I should have mentioned above. I’ve never written a reddit post before. :/ “
“NTA. Your trip, your party, your rules.”
“If she’s going tag along and bring an infant, the entire tone of the weekend will change.”
“If that’s going to happen, you may as well cancel everything.”
“Tell her to stay home or let grandma keep the baby.”
“Good Luck.” ~ QuinGood
“NTA- As someone who use to enjoy doing stuff like this before my son.”
“You have to be responsible when you have a kid and that means not being able to do things you use to.”
“You didn’t invent and tell her to ditch her kid.”
“She found out and you invested her to be nice.” ~ wolfeye18
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Like someone above said, your birthday, your party, your rules.
You’re being honest in your feelings.
Hopefully your friend will eventually understand.
Happy Birthday and have FUN!!