One of the realities of being a neighbor, especially if you share a wall, is that you’re occasionally going to hear some noise from next door.
While that can be frustrating, there are situations where showing the noisy neighbor a little kindness could go a long way, empathized the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor magicalbear3 was already fed up with their neighbor who complained about every noise, even the volume of the washer mid-cycle.
But when the neighbor started complaining about her twin babies, the Original Poster (OP) decided enough was enough.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my neighbor to f**k off when she told me to get my 3-month-old twins to shut up?”
One of the OP’s neighbors was intolerant of noise.
“I am an 18-year-old mom of twin girls (3 months). Currently, I live in a small apartment working remotely from home and taking care of the girls.”
“The walls are extremely thin. I have neighbors on both sides.”
“The neighbor to my left I have had no trouble with and she and her hubby even will drop off homemade dinners.”
“The neighbor on my right is another story. She will complain about my tv being too loud, any music being loud, heck even my washer is too loud, and this was before the babies came home.”
The neighbor became worse when the OP brought her babies home.
“When they got home, it was worse. They are babies, and they are going to cry.”
“And right now they are colicky. They constantly cry especially from the hours of 5 pm to 10 pm.”
“I’m writing this during one of the few times they are quiet and asleep.”
“Yesterday, it was one of those days where they wouldn’t stop crying, and I needed a short break. I put them into their cribs and walked into the living room, sat down, and cried.”
The situation escalated.
“The neighbor came banging on the door. I opened it and she instantly started to yell in my face about how people who can’t get their kids to shut up shouldn’t have them.”
“Then she said that she’d get them to shut up.”
“I lost it. I told her to f**king get off of her high horse. I am trying my best and she isn’t helping matters.”
“I said she could go f**k herself if she thought I was going to try to cater to her demands anymore. I then slammed the door in her face.”
The OP’s brother didn’t agree with what happened.
“My brother and I spoke on the phone earlier and he said that losing it was a bit uncalled for.”
“Was it uncalled for?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the neighbor sounded threatening.
“I’d have a teeny bit more sympathy for the neighbor being annoyed at this if she wasn’t also complaining about really stupid petty things like the washer or the TV. Sounds like the neighbor just likes to be a jerk.”
“Also yeah, I’d take that as a threat too. OP did not overreact.”
“And OP, take care of yourself please if you can. Is there anyone you can ask for help, even if it’s just to give you a break for a day?”
“You’re being a super mom right now and I know it’s out of necessity but it can’t go on forever without seriously burning you out. I hope you’re doing alright wishing you the best.” – ayoitsjo
“On the list of actions that might actually prevent you from having to hear two crying babies non-stop, bringing over some homemade food and trying to alleviate some stress is definitely beating out ‘come over and yell at the struggling single mom and then threaten her babies.'” – VintageCatBandit
“NTA. Call your landlord and report her for harassment and making threats.”
“You are doing an amazing job. You are keeping TWO babies and yourself alive. The first 3 months are f**kung hard and you’re doing it.”
“Babies cry. It SUCKS. You can’t stop it sometimes. Every parent wants to stop the crying. It’s the worst sound in the whole world to hear your baby crying and not being able to stop it.”
“Anyone who thinks banging on a door and yelling at a mom of newborns is going to stop any crying is delusional.” – Pessa19
Others were glad the OP stood up for herself.
“As a parent and due my last baby, I would have taken that as a threat and called the police.”
“OP, you are exhausted mama, you are doing wonderfully. Don’t let your AH neighbor bring you down.”
“I’m glad you stood up for yourself and told her to back the f**k off.”
“I understand the exhaustion and the emotions you’re having right now. Colic is no fun for anyone, and it’s rough.” – Impalaandthecolt-133
“It doesn’t matter if it’s 2 pm or 2 am, sometimes there is just nothing you can do for colicky kids! If you are a parent who has never experienced this, then just consider yourself lucky.”
“It’s miserable because you can’t help them. Anyone who wants to mom shame for that crap can go f**k off so far as I’m concerned.”
“You sound like you are doing your best. You work, and it sounds like you’re taking care of your girls. I give you props not only for that but also for not going even more crazy town on that lady.”
“NTA” – iMOONiCORN
“NTA, so not the AH, the neighbor f**ked around and she found out. You had every right to put her in her place.”
“Congrats on the beh-behs (babies)!”
“Also, after thinking this through, you need to document all this harassment from this neighbor. She’s interfering with the quiet enjoyment of your home, and you as a tenant have the right to that.” – DDecimal
While the subReddit could empathize that the constant crying was probably a trial for this mom and the neighbors, they did not appreciate how the neighbor handled the situation. Knocking on the door and yelling is hardly the way to calm colicky babies or the mother who is trying her best to care for them.