A majority of Americans love Halloween and its accompanying traditions.
It’s the rare time of the year, outside of cosplay conventions, when people get to dress up as their favorite villains and monsters in public and no one bats an eye.
But another popular tradition during All Hallow’s Eve, in which children of all ages—including the young at heart—partake in isn’t necessarily a part of other people’s agenda.
Redditor aitanohalloween, is a 28-year-old woman who had a falling-out with her neighbors after which she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for not taking part in Halloween?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“So I (28F) come from a country where Halloween is not really a big thing. I think I was invited to one halloween themed party my whole life, it’s never been something I’m really aware of or cared much for.”
“I now live in a country where halloween still isn’t a massive thing but there is a huge expat population (especially from the US) who does take it very seriously.”
“So anyway last night a bunch of the kids on my floor of my apartment building decided to go trick or treating. I’ve lived in this building since it opened and it’s only with covid and new families moving in last year that the trick or treating is even a thing.”
“I didn’t buy any candy for this, nor do I have any in the house. I stuck a note to the doorbell saying ‘no trick or treaters, please’ and carried on with work.”
“From 5:30pm until around 9:45pm my doorbell was going every 15-20 minutes and some of the kids were even pounding on the door. I ignored it and just put earphones in and carried on with work.”
“About half an hour ago as I’m having lunch, 4 mothers who live near my apartment came to my door and kept ringing the bell until I answered. I recognised a couple of them and thought maybe they needed something so I opened up.”
“They started saying they knew I was home last night and why was I acting like a grinch, was I too much of a cow to make children happy, they felt sorry for my baby (I’m 6 1/2 months pregnant) and overall harassing me for not taking part in Halloween.”
“I did yell at them that they had no right to expect anything of me and that if they came back I would be calling building security and then I slammed the door in their face.”
“I don’t get why I’m obligated to take part in a holiday that holds no meaning or significance for me, especially when I had made it clear that I would not be involved in it.”
“AITA for ignoring the ‘holiday’ and being aggressive to my neighbours when they confronted me?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Plenty of Redditors sided with her as not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA – In countries where Halloween is big, it is very common knowledge that not everyone celebrates or appreciates the holiday for a variety of reasons.”
“No lights means no trick or treaters, and no sign is necessary. Your neighbors were unbelievably rude and out of turn.” – cheltsie
“NTA. Would they rather you’d opened the door every 5 minutes to tell kids there was no candy? You’re not obligated to buy candy for their kids. Some people are so entitled, I swear.” – _Kenndrah_
“NTA you had a note set up indicating you were not partaking, a literal sign. What else more do they need to see?”
“Also them calling you a grinch wouldn’t make much sense since you didn’t have any candy all anyways. Once again NTA.” – SpeedBlitzX
“NTA. They are completely out of order for demanding you take part in an event you have no desire to partake it!”
“Are they also going to insist you attend church at Xmas? It’s ridiculous.”
“I love Halloween, but we don’t just knock on every single door as I know not everyone celebrates it. Here in the UK it’s pretty universally recognised that putting a pumpkin outside your front door is the signal trick or treaters are welcome.”
“A few places may not understand, but my kids know that after one knock with no answer, we move on.”
“A note that specifically says No should definitely be respected. Those women need a lesson in consent!” – curious_seahorse1
“NTA! I love Halloween. I love the spookiness, lore, and candy and costumes. It is perfectly fine that you don’t.”
“There is nothing wrong with that. Growing up we learned that if a house didn’t have it’s porch light on, they weren’t giving out candy. You did the same with your note. They should have respected your boundary.”
“You were perfectly within your rights to react the way you did. The entitlement reeks on those Moms who came to your door. If they want their kids to have more candy, it’s not like it’s not half off the day after Halloween anyways.” – Squishoms
“NTA. Even here in the US, not everyone participates. The rule is you only knock on doors where the porch light is on, if the light is off you leave them alone.”
“In an apartment a note like what you put up is totally socially acceptable and it would also be perfectly reasonable to report this to whoever is in charge of the building so this doesn’t happen next year.” – SlartieB
“NTA. Good for you for enforcing boundaries with entitled people. You are under no obligation to take part in events you don’t want to take part in. They’re just being entitled brats.”
“I’d keep an eye on them, though. They sound like the types who’ll ask to speak to your manager.” – Max_Supernova
“I’m a long term expat and I can tell you they were WAY out of line demanding that you fully accommodate their cultural customs when you’re not even in their country.”
“If their kids wanted to trick or treat, they should have canvassed the floor for willing participants and offered to provide sweets.”
“Inform building management of the harassment you received from both the kids and the mothers. NTA.” – Pleasant-Koala147
Overall, Redditors agreed the OP was not obligated to participate in a holiday tradition, and that staying out of it by no means meant she was a “Grinch” for it.