When we see one of our loved ones working really hard, it can be a wonderful feeling to do something for them that makes them feel appreciated.
Despite how kind of a gesture that might be, there’s bound to be someone jealous watching from the sidelines, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Angelface1226 was frustrated when they planned on taking their three hard-working nieces on a special trip, only to be pressured into taking their nephews along, too.
But when the Original Poster (OP) didn’t think the nephews deserved the trip, it caused a clash in their family.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for only taking my nieces on a trip and not my nephews?”
The OP was uncomfortable with how imbalanced their sister’s household was.
“My sister and her husband have very misogynistic views and they brought their kids up accordingly.”
“Their sons (15, 17, and 18) do virtually no chores in the house. They just eat and play video games all day.”
“Their daughters (14, 16, and 20) take on most of the household work. They cook, clean, do laundry, babysit their younger cousins, etc.”
“This has made the boys spoiled, entitled, and not very pleasant to be around. They pretty much demand their sisters to do even the most basic things for the, and when they try to refuse, their parents get mad at them.”
The OP wanted to do something nice for their nieces.
“I decided to surprise my nieces with a trip to Europe in a few weeks. They deserve time off to be pampered and treated. They work very hard.”
“They are very excited about the trip.”
The family was divided about the trip.
“Now, the problem is that their brothers found out and are angry. They believe that they deserve to be on the vacation, too.”
“I told them that pretty much every day is a vacation for them and they haven’t shown themselves to be worthy of such a trip.”
“They, my sister, and brother-in-law are all angry with me. My extended family is only my side.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought this trip was just what the girls needed and deserved.
“NTA. if they treat their children differently based on gender, so can you.”
“It’s telling that when it’s the girls who get an advantage for once, everyone flips out.”
“You sound like an awesome aunt.” – y2kdebunked
“NTA.”
“You did the right thing and ultimately it put faith into your nieces into knowing that at least there is someone in the family who cares about their well-being.”
“The nephews and the parents are major AHs, and they failed to adult the boys properly. They’re going to become spoilt brats as they reach adulthood and find future partners to baby them and wipe their backside for them.”
“This is a step closer to a reality check for them. Respect is earned, not given, and they are way old enough to know that.” – saltysegull
“Aside from the fact that the boys don’t deserve the trip, taking the three nephews, as well as the nieces, would be more than one person could handle. Unless all of them were your own kids, no one in their right mind would undertake a trip like that with six teenagers, without backup help.”
“Go with your nieces, and have a ball. Maybe next year the boys will grow up a bit. NTA.” – BeadsandReads
“NTA.”
“You’re doing your nieces a favor and treating them to something they sorely deserve.”
“Your nephews are just mad that they’re not getting special treatment this time, and your sister and brother-in-law are probably mad that they’ll be the ones having to look after the three boys during your vacation.” – Legitimate-Effort616
“NTA. They are treated terribly by their parents and it’s good to give them a taste of what a good life can be like where they aren’t waiting on their spoiled brothers hand-and-foot.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if the daughters moved away and left them with their precious sons to take care of them. They’ll be begging their sisters to take care of their parents because they haven’t learned a thing and guilt them into it.”
“OP, warn your nieces of this and get them out as soon as they hit 18 if you can swing it.” – SolidAshford
“NTA.”
“Your nieces deserve the trip. They also deserve to know their worth as a woman. Thus, you are the best person to inform them.”
“If their parents try to block this. Just tell them bonding first with nieces. Later with the nephews (you can bond over fish).”
“Good luck and have fun.” – cisclooney
Others hoped it would be a wake-up call to the family.
“NTA. Tell your sister that this is a dry run for what the next 45 years of her life will be like.”
“Her little princes will keep acting the way she taught them, so when their wives and girlfriends dump their entitled a**es, she can coo and make sure that her widdle boys will all be back in the nest.”
“And then she’ll be shoveling snow when she’s 80 because it’s just too much to ask her middle-aged sons to get off their ungrateful butts and do something.”
“Bon Voyage to you and the nieces.” – no_shirt_4_jim_kirk
“This should be a pretty simple explanation for the boys. I know the explanation you gave was accurate (every day is a vacation for them) but I’d be even clearer.”
“I wouldn’t want to travel with people their age who weren’t self-sufficient and didn’t pull their own weight. I’m not taking care of teens who can’t pick up after themselves and work as a team when in a group.”
“The boys haven’t shown themselves capable of doing so. The girls have.” – _Julanna
“NTA. tell the boys you don’t trust they’ll behave themselves and not embarrass you by insisting to be babied.”
“Tell them once they clean up after themselves and take care of their own laundry and etc, maybe you’ll reconsider inviting them along on the next trip.” – dichiejr
“One can only hope that a couple of weeks of being the only woman in the house and having to slave away for 4 entitled AHs will change her mind but somehow I have my doubts and think she might just go even crazier with that bulls**t.”
“I feel sorry for those poor girls and hopefully, they can enjoy some time off with OP and one day be able to ditch their parents and brothers for good.” – HighAFdragon
“Hopefully, OP also uses this vacation for the nieces to help plan their escape/exit strategies.”
“Then in 10/15 years’ time, the parents will be on here, whining about how the girls never introduced them to their future spouses/kids despite ‘giving them a good upbringing,’ while also complaining how their sons still live at home unmarried at 30/40 while not doing anything around the house, do nothing but gaming and can’t keep a job/relationship in the same breath.” – danigirl3694
But some were concerned about the family potentially retaliating upon the girls’ return.
“NTA. You are a wonderful aunt and they certainly deserve some time away. My only concern would be how things are going to be for them when they come back.” – Maleficient_Death_517
“NTA, but expect there is a good chance they will try to hold the younger ones hostage.”
“My own guess is that they haven’t even thought of it yet; but eventually they’ll be complaining about it in their church or something (I feel like these folks are always religious), and someone will say… well, don’t let your daughters go if the boys can’t go!”
“And unfortunately, as they are minors, you’ll be a bit stuck…” – SDstartingOut
“All I can say is make sure the girls have their passports and whatnot safely AWAY from the family. Give them no chances of sabotaging it.”
“And if you can (only if it’s financially sound for you to do so), offer them a place to live once they hit 18. The 20-year-old can get out now. But offer a safe haven to run to. Because they won’t be allowed to get out without your help or outside help.” – Alyssa_Hargreaves
“If you can, you might want to offer them a place to stay (either with you or grandparents if possible) should the other five seek retaliation (likely) for this.”
“These girls sound like they are in an environment where they are all basically Cinderella.” – Radhruin-123
“Make sure that they don’t feel guilty for leaving home. These types of parents will prevent the slaves from moving out with any means possible. Talk to them beforehand and explain manipulation tactics and emotional blackmail and practice answers in a calm setting.” – VirtualMatter2
Though the subReddit was concerned about how complicated this trip could be, as well as how the family might retaliate upon the girls’ return home, they otherwise thought the trip was an amazing gesture from the OP to their nieces, who deserved recognition and a break.