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Redditor Called Out For Refusing To Eat Smash Cake That Baby Nephew’s ‘Grubby Hands’ Were In

Baby with smash cake
Jessica Peterson/Getty Images

A baby’s first birthday is cause for huge celebration!

Parties vary in many capacities, but a birthday cake is almost always present for the young one to enjoy.

A new trend is to have a “smash cake” which is just that — a cake for the one-year-old to smash.

Redditor Bright_Mango82 took to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) after refusing to eat said smash cake.

They asked,

“AITA for refusing to eat a ’smash cake’?”

They went on to explain.

“Yesterday was my nephew’s 1st birthday, and my sister and BIL [brother-in-law] had a little get together at their house.”

“When it was time for cake, they brought out my nephew’s “smash cake”—exactly what it sounds, a cake for the baby to smash up and get icing all over themselves for cute pictures or whatever.”

“I kind of imagined that it would be the size of a big cupcake, but they brought out a regular-sized round birthday cake.”

“I just kind of figured they splurged and still expected the cake to just be for him to play around with.”

“BUT. After my nephew had gone at this cake with his bare hands, and stuck his whole face in it, my sister started scooping up the mangled remains and distributing servings to everyone (just a handful of family members.)”

“And everyone else was actually eating it!”

“I declined because…seriously? I didn’t want to eat something that has had a baby’s grubby hands and body all over it, and I was surprised that anyone else did.”

“My sister insisted I take a portion and I said ’Really, no, that’s gross.’”

“Now… I probably wouldn’t have used the word gross if I wasn’t on the spot, but I was not at all prepared to have to decline to eat baby spit politely.”

“My sister was very hurt by that and told me later (on a phone call that I thought was way longer than it needed to be for the severity of the infraction)…”

“…that she thought I was being extremely judgmental, that it wasn’t a big deal, we’re all family, don’t participate if I really don’t want to but don’t call her gross, etc.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:


“Smash cakes are supposed to be only for smashing and for the baby to eat.”

“There is usually a second, non-smashed cake for adults to eat, or the adults are just adults about it and don’t eat any cake.”

“I’ve never heard of someone trying to serve a smashed cake to adults.” – makethatnoise

“NTA- that is so gross!!! My daughter is turning one next month, and we plan to have a small cupcake as her smash cake and other cupcakes for everyone else.”

“We would never even think of having everyone eat the smash cake, ugh” – Affectionate_Drive45

“100% NTA.”

“A smash cake is for the child. There should have been a regular cake for consumption by the partygoers.”

“It’s ridiculous to think people, even if they are family, want to eat something another person has mangled.”

“Also, kids hands are gross. Babies teeth and have their hands in their mouths all the time.”

“I won’t even eat little kids bday cakes where they just blow out candles. They spit all over them when they blow out the candles. It is gross.” – jellybeanrowse

“NTA. That’s disgusting. Next time she’s over for dinner, serve a cake for dessert but desecrate it first and then be upset when she doesn’t want to eat it.”

“Or maybe just scoop their pasta with your hands…” – JasJoeGo

“NTA. That was gross. Children are Petri dishes for every type of virus and/bacteria out there.”

“The polite thing to do is have a small smash cake for the baby and another cake for other guests.”

“As for the others eating the cake, that is their choice. So your choice to not eat it should be respected.” – Fair_Text1410

“NTA. My mom caught covid from me despite all of our best efforts to stay safe, and she didn’t make it.”

“’We’re all family’ means nothing when it comes to germs. And besides that, it is gross.”

“Maybe you could have phrased it better, but would she have accepted that or kept pushing until you had no choice but to say it anyway?” – ThrowAwayFoodMood

“‘I said “Really, no, that’s gross.’”

“NTA – Ewwww. I’ve seen smash cakes a huge bunch of times, and never once have I seen someone offer the smash cake to others.”

“So not only is it gross, it’s also pretty f*cking weird as well. Don’t blame you for the gross part either, I’d react the same” – ReviewOk929

“The fact that your sister even offered up the smashed cake to people to eat is in such poor taste.”

“This is the equivalent to a toddler holding a cookie in their hand they’ve been sucking on, and then they offer you a bite of it. Nobody ever wants to take that bite.”

“I’m surprised that many people willingly ate the cake in the first place. NTA, your sister was a bad host.” – Beautiful-Ad-7616

“NTA. That IS gross, and she should have just left it when you declined the first time.”

“No is a complete sentence. You did nothing wrong after she refused to acknowledge your answer.” – 190PairsOfPanties

“I thought a smash cake was literally that; a cake for the baby to smash. Everyone else eats a sheet cake or whatever.”

“NTA.” – NewZookeepergame9808

“NTA. A smash cake is supposed to be a small cake for the kid to destroy while eating with their hands. There should be another cake for everyone else. Does your sister not know that?” – keesouth

“NTA, that IS gross.” – BettyCrockofBS


“NTA” – bluebook2000

“Omg the fact that people were actually eating it is just 🤢 NTA!” – MachoManRS99

“NTA. That’s absolutely disgusting and your sister has a screw loose.” – Devi_Moonbeam

“NTA and WTF? The point of a smash cake is that it’s NOT supposed the main cake, but rather a mini version or a cupcake. As the mom of a toddler—can confirm, that’s gross AF.” – Curious_Attempt4080

“NTA lol, what were they thinking?”

“Also, smash cake pics are not cute, they are wasteful and gross as well, and anyone who wants to have such pics is getting silently judged anyway.” – LookAtNarnia

“NTA, I have a 4-month-old. His hands spend 70% of their existence in his mouth.”

“That’s a hard no from me. It is gross. I tell my little guy he’s a gross dude like ten times a day. I love my little gross dude.” – Rawrange_


“I wouldn’t eat it either.”

“Typically the cake that is smashed is the kids, and the adults/guests get another in my experience… or the cake is served, and the kid can smash whatever is left.” – FearNokk

“First thing I thought was, “That’s gross!” NTA” – lhsis1

“NTA – It’s extremely weird they didn’t have two cakes (which is normal) a smaller one for baby to smash and a larger one for everyone else.”

“When I worked at Safeway, we’d make them for free with the purchase of a regular cake for 1-year-old birthday parties as it’s a normal thing to do.”

“No one wants to eat smooshed cake covered in baby drool, I think the most mind-blowing thing to me is that you were the only one to not eat it.”

“Gross!” – Forest_Maiden

“NTA. Germs are real. And that’s just gross.” – OhCheesyPetes

“NTA…Would your sister eat a cake you had slobbered over and pulled apart with your hands?”

“Not likely. She would probably also find the suggestion to be gross.”

“It may be fun to watch a baby pull a cake apart, but it’s no less gross to eat the remains. You likely only said what others were thinking.” – RoyallyOakie

“NTA – that IS gross, and someone needed to point it out. As other people have said, typically a smash cake is small or a cupcake or something like that, and then there is another treat for guests.” – NemoKiel1326

“NTA. So gross. And unbelievable that the others ate it. You spoke the truth.” – ap64119

“The imagery of that actually made me feel unwell. Almost threw up. Not touching the cake was warranted, and you were right by calling it gross. NTA” – Too-Paranoid

“No, that’s weird, and most photos of smash cakes have them as smaller cakes. Bigger than a big cupcake, but definitely not the cake you’d serve to the rest of the party. NTA.” – Milskidasith


“I thought that was kind of obvious. Baby gets a smash cake – of whatever size. Guests get a completely separate cake.”

“At least that’s what I did. Baby got a sizable smash cake – which was absolutely gross looking after they were done with it.”

“Guests were served fresh cake from a completely separate cake that was made.”

“I would absolutely not accept either – family or not. Ew.”

“Also, for those of you saying that OP is the a**hole here, they declined first… only after it was insisted upon did they make the “gross” comment – which, I feel, is reasonable at that point.”

“It’s reiterating ’I said no.’” – threeblackfeathers

Hopefully, the little one’s second birthday is a bit more fun… and sanitary.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)